The Library

I had an amazing realization B"H this morning during my quiet time, and I want to share it with you. I am a husband and a father, but in some ways do not always act like either. I often come home late from work and miss dinner, sometimes miss bedtime with the kids, and al...

There is an old chassidishe story about a bal teshuvah who asked his Rebbe about dealing with inappropriate thoughts (particularly regarding distractions during davening). He told him to go to such-and-such a yid's house that night. The chosid traveled there immediately, ...

Hashem Healed the Yidden Before Kabalas Hatorah I just want to bring something that Dov once mentioned. Chazal tell us that before Matan Torah, the Yidden were all miraculously healed by Hashem. Says Dov, this teaches us that before we can be Zoche to true Matan Torah, we...

They say that our addiction is just a symptom of our problem, not the problem itself - it just happens to be the "problem" that gets us into treatment for our real problem, which is that life itself is unbearable to us. In recovery we discover that the problem was not wit...

A few minutes ago I checked out a link in an email-type thingy from a good friend. There was an ad on the side of the page that popped up. It was not healthy for me and I turned the page up to avoid the torture and the danger. OK... now comes the fun part: A minute later ...

Someone wrote after a fall: The charatah is finally kicking in..... I am on the verge of tears.... what will I say to the Borei Olam? What will be left of me?What will I take with me to the next world? Tatte!! "oy lee vay lee... oy lee miyom hadim, oy lee miyom hatocheich...

If "echad hamarbeh ve'echad ha'ma'amit..." [whether you collect more or less, the end result is the same - reference to manna - edit.] ever applied to anything, it applies to recovery: It is quality, not quantity that matters above all. So if, for example, the weekly phon...

The GYE set me up with a partner... I gather that we're supposed to tell each other exactly what we're thinking and want to do in our lusty moments (I got that from your posts). My question is, if we're at the same level, is there not a danger that we could trigger each o...

"DovekBashem" writes: I am down in the dumps again. I fell again today (and last night) and just feel like I have no control over my own body or my own life. I know that G-d is watching this whole thing and I can't help but wonder why, if he hates it as much as I do, why ...

The entire flavor of my relationship with Hashem before recovery was one of drama. "I want to do better! I want to stop!" ... then I'd act out and come back to Him saying, "Take me back!! Please take me back!"... and he'd take me back, I guess... Then I'd feel deep feelin...

When the White Book mentions 'facing resentments' as part of recovery, it seems to me that it is as part of a process. The steps before the 4th are quite simple, yet often not as straightforward as we make them, early on. For example, simply having a true emunah in Hashem...

Someone posted on the forum: I'm trying to use only public computers. Being the only guy with a yarmulke for miles around, I'd be too afraid of getting caught, and of the shame that would ensue and the chillul Hashem. I hope that will be a strong deterrent for me. Dov Rep...

Someone posted on the forum: I hope I don't slip into depression once I realize and internalize that my wife will not and cannot be part of my fantasies... I might have to settle for (or strive for, perhaps) and ordinary existence. Dov Replies: Here is a juicy fantasy fo...

For me, having "a decent day" means that I was useful to whoever I could be useful to. That list includes: Hashem (by noticing Him, using Him, and caring about what He says),Ourselves (by staying sober and avoiding the tortures of lust, self-pity, resentment and other stu...

Someone posted on the forum: "I just fell. I am such a lowlife." Dov Responded: Gevalt. How do you know what you are? You don't even know how to stay clean, and yet you say you understand yourself well enough to determine what you are?! I'm still not exactly sure what I ...

At some time in recovery, I admitted that what I was always really looking for in all the lust and schmutz was true acceptance of me (or my body) for the sake of me (irrespective of my goodness or lack thereof), by someone that I really respect/worship. Someone I consider...

Someone wrote on the forum: Today was a record breaking day for me! My previous longest streak was 26 days and today my new streak became 27 days and counting. All I can say is Baruch Hashem for this site and this forum. Before discovering guardyoureyes.org my clean s...

The first order of business when beginning to work the steps, is to get sober and remain sober by getting reasonably comfortable with the practice of asking for help when lust strikes. Asking for help is good a sign that the addict has finally come to believe that he is a...

The Gr"a asks: If we were not "good" in eretz yisroel with a beis hamikdash and with nevi'im, then how in the world are we to ever get better out of eretz yisroel and without any neviim?! A good question, no? His answer is that there is just no other way to get better whe...

Someone wrote on the forum: Today I was in mid town and I don't know how it is possible to go there! Every woman walking down the street is another nisayon. Seriously, it's almost impossible. Help! Thank G-d I have glasses, so I can take them off, but seriously, I almos...