The Library

For my recovery, I need to remember that thinking, understanding and identifying reasons are luxuries I don't always get. I need to work my program because I believe I have an addiction and it makes me do things that are wrong (morally, religiously, spiritually, or otherw...

I'm reading a lot of posts and I keep seeing people talking about Shmiras Einayim and fighting fantasies and thoughts. By me, when I see something on the street, I don't fight myself and wonder if I looked too long or not. I just ignore it. I look away and continue on in ...

This Shabbos - for the first time in a long time, I felt like a Yossel among Yosselach, instead of feeling like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I must emphasize that this negative feeling would accompany me in the best of times as in the worst of times. My actual behavior was...

In a standard machlokes (disagreement) between rashi and tosfos, it is often surprising at first when they take such different views on one halacha - see kriat shma (brachos 2b) or tefillin (menachos 62a) for some examples. How do we understand how two gedolim, from the s...

Joe999 wrote: If you have Windows Vista or XP you can download gadgets, so I downloaded a countdown clock that tells me every time I turn on my computer, exactly how many days, mins, and secs I have left till 90 days. It really helps me think that I'm accomplishing as I s...

One of my favorite Torahs is a Breslover Torah. Rebbe Nachman says that often, only AFTER we go through a period of time or a situation do we first see in 'hindsight' and 'retrospect' how all was really for the good. We see how G-d's hand was guiding us all along. This is...

Someone wrote to us: I found one of your first posts to me 12 months ago, that's kept me thinking for all these months: "Yes, we CAN love and be loved, deeper than we could have ever imagined. We truly can find pleasure, comfort and security that we only dreamed cou...

After a big fall, "Ben Durdaya" joined our forum and posted his story... Here is an excerpt of some of the chizuk he gave himself: A. I wil bl"n l try to stop focusing on the damage that I'm doing to my parnossah, learning, children's chances for hatzlachah etc. -all of t...

Someone said an amazing thing today that I wanted to write down and keep in my own little corner of GYE. Of course this is something I knew, but inside I was fighting it... We have to set limits for ourselves that are way behind our trigger points. Because once we get tri...

The number one thing I have gotten from GYE is the recommendation of the book "Garden of Peace". This has truly been a game changer. It has done for my marriage what SA has done for my sobriety; taken me from a novice to putting me onto the path of long-term stability and...

From Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise" - Rabbi Yechezkail Levenstein - Ohr Yechezkail, Midos, p.59; When beginning to work on self-improvement, just try to go against a negative trait in one small way. Any positive change is already a beginning. When you take that fir...

From Yishmoreini.com "The most deterrent power with the least intrusion!" I know the perils and pitfalls of the internet. I understand that I need something to protect me from those weak moments. I have been disappointed by filters, white lists, blacklists etc... I pus...

R' Kivak recently said in his shiur: Rebbe Nachman teaches us to be 'baki b'ratzo' and 'baki b'shov' - to be experts at moving forward and experts at falling. When we fall, we need to know that Hashem is right there with us, next to us and by our sides. He still loves us ...

Sexual lust can only be kept at bay by avoiding provocative sights and thoughts. Do not enter into negotiations with your desires, for the elaboration of your thoughts, even directed at annulling the desires, will have the effect of reinforcing the desires, and they ca...

I learned a beautiful thing in R' Yitzchak Ginsburg's "Living in Divine Space": He says that the Baal Shem Tov taught us that we mustn't let humility prevent us from serving Hashem. However unworthy we may feel we are, if we approach serving Hashem with such feelings, we'...

I came across your website and I think you are doing a great Chesed to all of Klal Yisrael. This is a very important issue. There is a secular website which offers a training course on how to deal with pornography addiction. It is actually an online course and costs about...

"Desperate" wrote: Sometimes, if I really want to act out, I'll text somebody for help, but I know that this is my excuse. I'll tell myself that I 'acted out' cuz I reached out and it 'didn't help', so I don't feel so bad about acting out. It's all about ATTITUDE. I got...

Yesterday while on the train home, a girl came on dressed in a way that really triggers me, my gaze lingered on her as she passed me by and then I realized that I can't afford to stay in the same compartment as her so I ran into the next one (my own mini 'vayonas veyeitse...