Yesterday while on the train home, a girl came on dressed in a way that really triggers me, my gaze lingered on her as she passed me by and then I realized that I can't afford to stay in the same compartment as her so I ran into the next one (my own mini 'vayonas veyeitsey hachutsa'). But then when I got off, I stared at the train as it passed to get one last look.
I was upset with myself, I thought I messed it all up and had undid the good I had done. But then I realized, perfectionism is part of the addiction. It makes me annoyed if I slipped a little - and that paves the way for an all out fall!
I told myself to 'stop being a perfectionist'. The victory will always be there, and the slip, in the grand scheme of what I'm capable of falling to, is very minor. 'Keep on trucking!' I told myself.