The Library

Dear Balancing, The balance between controlling and stepping back is a tough one for the spouse of an addict. You may want to discuss this more in depth with our spouse experts (see this page). You could perhaps simply ask your husband straight out if he feels eBay is...

After the link in a recent e-mail where we wrote: THE TOSHER REBBE, ZTZ"L May we all learn from him, even a tiny bit, what it means to live completely for Hashem. Someone asked: "How exactly am I supposed to emulate the Toscher Rebbe, even just a litt...

Visitor 53991565 11:04 PM I've been clean 17 days But I'm a bit stuck. Visitor 53991565 11:05 PM I am not at all attracted to my wife. Honest. Visitor 53991565 11:06 PM She's gained weight. A lot. What am I to do? Everyone else's wife - yes, this is the addict talking - s...

After watching this TED Talk (above), Dov and Guard had the following dialogue: Dov: "The SA White Book calls Sexaholism a disease of Misconnection, and describes the solution as making the right connection... Consider how condemning it is to those who see GYE's offer of ...

Question: How can I go in the streets in Brooklyn or in Manhattan when the women are dressed the way they are? What does Hashem want from us!? We are not malochim?? Answer: This is a very good question. Let me try and answer with a parable. Imagine you suddenly develope...

Q: I have a question. I feel like people who come with their problem to GYE thinking and feeling like they are doing the worst thing in the world, and they see the stories of a lot of people who have gone through the same or worse things, they then feel like their problem...

Question: It's coming now kabalas hatorah, and I need a paradigm shift in saying "naseh venishma". I am being bothered by something that keeps coming to mind every so often, especially when learning about kedusha/aroyis or saying nase venishma to the whole Torah. Please d...

1. It is true that live 12-Step meetings are not for everyone, but someone who has tried many things and has not succeeded until now, should be encouraged to join a live 12-Step group. If you tell him that he needs to ask a shailah, then he will likely just not go. He w...

Question: Pesach is coming up. This means that I will not be able to shave until lag baomer. I have never done this before as I have always been worried about looking weird. Can you give me an idea of how to have an attitude that I will actually keep the omer properly? I ...

Answer: We sent your question to Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (author of over 60 books on psychology), and also discussed it with some of the experts on our team. We feel that you will need to choose between two options, depending on the type of relationship you have with yo...

Hi, I am in need of guidance. Thanks to your site baruch Hashem my desire to do biah with goyish women has all but disappeared. Unfortunately this goyish girl has come along to me. She insists no vaginal or anal (which according to halachah are definitely considered bia...

Someone asked: I have a funny question. If all looking at a picture is just lights coming from the screen, then is it really assur to look at it? Answer: The Rambam in Hilchus Issurei Biyah (21:2) writes that someone who gazes even at the small finger of a woman with the...

Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: Dear Yakov: A wife said that Elya Katz recommends a week of intensive therapy at a rehab. Her husband's addiction is to porn and masturbation. Is this advisable/necessary? Twerski We responded: I believe I know who the Rav ...

Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: I received a call from a mother who found her 15 yr old son watching porn What do you recommend for this age group Twerski We responded: Dear Rabbi Twerski, We have a special page for teens on our website over here. Here a...

Question: Hi. Firstly I wanted to say how happy I was to have found the Guard Your Eyes website. What you are doing is really fantastic. I haven't posted my problem on the forums as it relates to how to deal with my 10 year old son and no posts exist with this type of di...

Question: Can you please explain to me where there is an issur against having relations with non-idolatrous goyot? I'm not looking for spiritual Zohar or Lurianic reasons; just an actual issur. I'm really becoming tempted with this. Answer: I will not bring you Kabbalist...

Someone wrote in: I was bedridden for a day with the flu and while I was nauseous, weak and miserable, I had one of the hardest days in terms of wanting to sin that I've had in a while. Everything was a trigger!!! What’s going on with me? GYE Answers: This is very common...

Someone emailed us: Besides for struggling with this addiction, I keep seeing other women and wondering if I married the right one. Do I really like my wife? Do I click with her? Am I really attracted to her? It’s driving me mad. Also, always being together with the same ...