The Library

Dear Coulda Been, I take strong issue with these sentences of yours: "The tremendous shame is that I lost out on very important developmental years of my life and could have grown into much more than I am. My potential was far greater than what I look like now." This is a...

Dear Distraught, I agree it should be addressed earlier. We have a booklet called "Protecting our Youth: Experts Speak" that can help parents know how to speak to their children about these things. But let me just try to set you straight about something. Your best years...

Dear In Need, Don't worry, the body automatically re-absorbs the semen build-up, so there's no need to release it. I understand it's hard, but this is what separates the men from the boys! Hashem challenges us to be strong and pays us back a thousand-fold in both this wor...

Please listen to this great shiur by Rabbi Shafier that he recently recorded for our members called "Guilt & Teshuvah". Please realize that although the Torah takes a tough stance when we don't listen to Hashem, however Teshuvah was created even before the world was ...

A. Just the fact that you had the will power to stop looking at forbidden things shows you have greatness inside you. How many people are willing to work on themselves and admit their past mistakes in today's world? This is very precious in G-d's eyes. Chassidus teaches...

A. This is a very good question and it is one of the deepest mysteries of the universe. I will try to answer it with explanations from Chassidus and the Ramcha"l but I hope you understand the terminology (if not, feel free to ask for clarification): Regarding one who say...

GYE Answers: First of all, share your life with Hashem. He is your very best friend. Believe me, no flesh and blood relationships can ever really solve your problems. I know so many people with many good relationships and still lonely inside. Only Hashem can fill that ...

Dear Unwilling, What if your best friend told you the following: "I have a secret that I want to share with you because you are my best friend in the whole world. I have never revealed this to anyone. There is a forest at the end of the city. You need to go at night, so n...

A nocturnal emission is something that occurs by itself, against a person's will, and therefore the person is not considered to have committed a willful transgression and there is no punishment involved. Nonetheless, t'shuva is certainly appropriate, especially if a pers...

I got a sort of halacha question. I know and feel like I'm in serious danger of falling right now, and I want to know if it's allowed for me to "reward" myself by doing wasting seed with my wife. Like if I can go 6 months without falling, then can I in turn do something t...

Dear Scared Witless, The Tzadikim have already addressed this Zohar that implies there is no Teshuvah for this, and offered numerous answers and explanations. It’s not our topic, but the point is, you can definitely do teshuva even for this, and it does not contradict th...

Question: A GYE user sent me a message asking if I don't mind sharing my WhatsApp number so we could help each other. So far, we have exchanged personal messages on the website and it was ok, but I wonder, are members of GYE allowed to talk via WhatsApp? I mean, there w...

Dear Yid, You have a disease called addiction, which means that your brain has become hyper-sexual by the pathways carved by the chemicals released over years when doing these behaviors. You see, the brain needs to find balance. So when a person begins engaging in these ...

GYE asked an old-time SA member and this was his response: Yeah, some people like it while some don't; in some countries and cities it's attendance and sobriety presence is pathetic while in others SA's is; etc, etc. I don't know if it's more robust, but they have a secti...

Thank you for your mail. It helps me to find the strength to face this situation, without being overwhelmed. I knew that being mad and so upset was neither appropriate nor helpful reaction to his fall, but I could not find my way out of my painful feelings. When I read yo...

CLICK HERE to download a booklet called “Niddah - A Practical Psychological Guide for Couples” by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, which contains a discussion of the problems and challenges faced by couples, specific tips and tools for men and women, and special considera...

I was on the GYE website when some chatted with me and said that he is triggered. This was the first time someone else complained to me about their situation, since usually I am the complainer. However, I am still new to this, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do and w...

Someone wrote: I act out with masturbation more often and more rarely do I spend some time browsing dirty sites (like once a month or once in 2 months). Is there a point to make a TaPHSiC shvuah for the shmutz if I anyway can't stop the masturbation? GYE Responds: Fr...