The Library

Although going strong for 28 days now, I almost just lost it due to "a regular everyday news story". As I was logging on to my e-mail account, there was a story about a controversial picture on the front cover of a magazine. Out of habit I clicked on it, but soon came to ...

This is the first time I had some major insights FROM A CLOSE CALL, instead of FROM A FALL, Thank G-d! First of all, I used the forum in a way I never have before. I was desperate so I sent out distress PMs to some familiar names there. Until now, I've felt sort of impers...

Day 1 was surprisingly easy, but Day 2 was a perfect example of where I would have fallen before finding this website. Throughout the day, from doing work to lying in bed, my whole body was just screaming for release. There were a few times it got so bad that I couldn't f...

The program doesn't tell us how to stop - we had done that a thousand and one times - it shows us how to keep from starting again. We had it backwards; before, we always wanted the therapist, spouse, or God to do the stopping for us - to fix us. Now, we stop; and then, in...

This morning I woke up very early (4:30 AM) and I was tempted to see what I could find on my Sky-TV. I am so sorry that I fell for this temptation in the first place and nearly slipped. However, I flicked through a few channels to try and get something which I should not ...

B"H, I just updated my chart to a streak of 33 days. I honestly can't believe it. Since my addiction started, I never got past two weeks - and here I am at 33 days and b'chasdei Hashem going strong. Obviously, there have been a number of bumps and tests along the way and ...

We all know Uri on the forum... He's one of the most "colorful" GYE members; musical, poetic, deep and funny... Well, everyone's tests are different, and Uri, being a real sex-addict (and Ba'al Teshuvah), had taught himself since his early teenage years to run away and ha...

I've been doing pretty good lately B"H, using a combination of strong filters and vows to keep myself clean. This morning though, while I was just getting up and still feeling groggy, I got a crazy idea in my head. I had thought of something inappropriate that my filter w...

I got on the bus today, and it was like a sudden epiphany of freedom - I realized that "hey, I don't have to look around and see which girls are pretty!" I hope it lasts... I think the interesting thing was that it actually came to me as a kind of, "huh... y'know, I reall...

I was walking around a few minutes ago on a large street. I got myself something to eat, and I did a little shopping. As is always the case, there were many women walking around. My instinct, of course, told me to give the "initial peek" (which is really just used to dete...

I'm very excited!! What I'm gonna write here could be a tremendous chizuk for all of us. Two months ago, I mentioned in my thread that my daughter did a blood test and was diagnosed as probably having a "celiac". The reliability of that test is very high; over 90 percent....

Here I've been all week trying to take care of the children, preparing meals for them, dressing and cleaning them, washing dishes, doing the laundry, trying to keep the house from getting too messy to live in, shopping, and other assorted chores. And I'm doing it all alon...

It's been 12 days and I don't even have a desire to sin. I just decided to stop arguing with people, including my wife, my family and my friends. If someone disagrees, I smile and stay silent. If I get criticized, I smile, stay silent, and thank Hashem for the beautiful, ...

This morning is the closest I've been to a fall. I actually typed the address of a p**n site into my browser. I felt completely helpless - as if my intellect had been turned off and I could simply not reason with myself. Suddenly - seemingly out of no-where - I has a spli...

Today I was sitting in the bus and I saw a man reading a newspaper. Now, I used to have huge problems with newspapers.I used to read them everyday, all of them (5-6)... The free ones... those are the most terrible ones!!The Pritzus, the rubbish, all the unhealthy stuff th...

Does anyone know what it feels like to sit in-front of a 72'' widescreen at 4am without a soul in sight, and with 10 bookshelves lined with DVDs of every sort, and to tell the ribono shel olam: "Tatte, the only reason I did not turn it on is because you don't want me to."...

I just had an internet slip. I was looking up something totally safe - on a site which was supposed to be perfectly safe, and I came across some really weird indecent drawings. It was so weird that I had trouble overcoming the curiosity. BUT, I did leave the page fairly q...

Last night I wasn't feeling well, and on the way to Yeshiva I still wasn't clear what I would say in today's shiur. On the way to yeshiva, I saw something "very interesting" coming in my direction. The way I always reacted in such cases was to look really intently until s...