The Library

A little victory tonight. I was alone in the kitchen when I noticed a magazine (of women's under garments) had arrived and was sitting on the counter. I immediately had a flashback to a few years ago. I was tutoring a non-religious kid in his home, and one day I was alo...

Today, I woke up with that horrible feeling inside me, urging me to "act out". I went to shachris, and the feeling grew stronger and stronger. I didn't know what to do. Then it occurred to me, "what will happen of I do not watch porn and 'act out'?" "Nothing!" But what w...

I think somewhere in the holy books (maybe Rambam) it says that you know that you actually have done tshuvo is when the same situation arises, you withstand the temptation this time. I'm sure Machshova Tova can find the chapter and verse and the exact loshoin, in fact I w...

Question: Pesach is coming up. This means that I will not be able to shave until lag baomer. I have never done this before as I have always been worried about looking weird. Can you give me an idea of how to have an attitude that I will actually keep the omer properly? I ...

Making Nedarim (vows) can be a very powerful tool in this struggle, and Chazal indeed encourage Nedarim for these type of tests. However, vows must be made very carefully and only for short periods of time (at first) to assure that they can be kept under all circumstance...

Shalom Rabbosia- tough day today. My son was sick the entire night and I stayed up with him for most of the night. I woke up late and felt that aimlessness – my wife dropped him off at Gan and ran off to work – and just felt aimless. What now? I can’t be late to learning ...

Someone wrote in to us recently: I daven each morning with a minyan and then go to learn for an hour with a Chavrusah. Usually the davening and learning feels kind of dry, and often I do just because I feel I have to, and I want to get it over with already so I can start ...

This motzaei Shabbos I had to stay up half the night for a work related item. I had not anticipated having to stay up and was caught somewhat off guard. All the symptoms that normally preceded a slip began appearing. I was resentful for having to stay up, there was a stre...

I would like to share with you an amazing experience I just had. My seven year old daughter is going through a difficult time at school at the moment, both socially and academically. This morning, she had a massive tantrum that she is not going to school, refusing to eat ...

I am so happy. I can't believe that I had a free, unstructured day at my office, and I didn't get stuck pounding away at Google for things that conflict with my sobriety. It was totally liberating. I had some thoughts telling me, "just search for this or that", you know, ...

What most amuses me about my current situation is that soon after I fell, my evil inclination whispered to me, "Hey, buddy, you already fell and you're starting anew tomorrow. Might as well 'chap arein' and go see the real hard...

I remember a while back, I posted about my struggles and how I wanted to change, and you asked me if I really wanted to change. That rubbed me the wrong way a bit, because I felt you were minimizing my efforts. But now, being h...

Someone posted on the forum today: I just pulled myself back from the edge of the cliff again, for the second time this week. I usually fall on Sundays. However, in honor of R"H, I didn't fall Sunday. I didn't fall Monday. I didn't fall Tuesday. But ...

I didn't want to get into my work today (Sundays are always hard to get back to work), so I surfed around. I wanted to surf lightly, not anything too arousing because I didn't want to fall this week. But of course, one thing led to another, and next thing I know, I'm surf...

Yesterday Uri posted a last gasp of a drowning man: I'm falling big time here. This is my last call for help. I have two tabs open now, one of them is GYE, the other... I also have had enough of falling by myself. I have my finger on the phone waiting to call a girl w...

Hello Everyone. I have been away on holiday and now I'm back!! And I have missed writing but have managed to read some of the recent Chizuk emails which I am grateful for. My initial goal had been to reach 30 days, and now that I have managed the full mon...

As soon as you get a bit too cocky and think "Hey, I'm doing it!", Hashem gives you a fatherly pat on the back with a serious nisayon and says, "Chill". That's what happened to me today... I was doing great with the few errands I had to run, in a semi crow...

I would like to recount a story that happened to me a year ago on Rosh Chodesh Elul. I was in a very low mood with bad thoughts in my head. I was on my way to Israel for the Chaggim. I had to take a stopover. The first plane I was on got delayed for a few ...