The Library

It's in times of courage that I remember to send you an e-mail... The Chizuk e-mails that I receive each day help me loads, and B"H things have picked up, and I can't stop thanking Hashem for helping me overcome lust in some nearly impossible situations. I'm the head of a...

On Friday, I woke up on the wrong foot (after a nocturnal emission) and I was sure my day was only going to follow with disaster. To my surprise though, it didn't. Instead, this Shabbos turned out to be the most positive, meaningful, and fulfilling Shabbos I've had, maybe...

Just wanted to share a quick story. Last night I was coming home on the train, it was pretty late and there were all of these drunks coming home from parties and such, and of course everyone was dressed very immodestly. Out of nowhere, I felt mamash trapped in the good ol...

Welcome back everyone. Thanks to Guard & his platoon for the restoration of the forum. I want to share two events from when the site was down. The first event: a dream where I was watching a movie, late at night. And in the dream, my hand started to slip down. And whi...

I've had this gnawing feeling for a few days now. I remembered a non-Jewish acquaintance of the opposite gender from the distant past... Barely an acquaintance. I started having all these thoughts, justifying a simple little E-mail. I'll just mention the one thought I ha...

Many of you in this site probably don't even know me. I am a GYE old timer, who has been sober for close to FIFTEEN months through GYE, and still going, B"H. My commitment to sanity and sobriety is strong. If you want to get to know me better, you can read my journal t...

Two days ago, after a night spent feeding my sickness, I stumbled across an ad for this site and suddenly my eyes began to open. There was hope and a way to deal with this. I told myself that Hashem sent me here for a reason, and that reason is to get better. I realized t...

"Kedusha" shared: In spite of my office's filter, I found myself least week on a website that allows you to perform searches that can lead to what, by Torah standards, is inappropriate material (I had seen the website mentioned in a legitimate article). Although for some...

A triggering teen, 'babysitting' young children, sat literally right next to me in the children's park one day (she honestly looked 'needy' as if there was not much love in the home she was coming from: she looked sad-wanting attention). The park is directly across the st...

I was walking home from Shul. 3 attractive girls were crossing my path and as much as I tried at the time to switch off my lust it was difficult since these girls were quite bubbly and ever-present --hard to ignore! So I went for plan B and shifted into giving mode. I imm...

I imagine there are thousands of people who take for granted when their children start peeking in to their bags or briefcase or wallet etc. and find.... NOTHING... Just regular stuff... But I can't begin to tell you how many times I've discovered my kids having fun with m...

With happiness and joy, I am grateful to Hashem for a blissfully sober day... I hit an SA meeting yesterday which was good... Last night I did something that was kinda weird for me... I baked a chocolate cake with my wife. After everyone went to sleep, I joined her in the...

I got a filter 3 weeks ago and it is amazing!! How could I have lived without it?!! Just by installing it, it helped me not even try to look at anything bad. For 3 weeks I was able to stay away from evil without a problem. At first my Yetzer Hara told me not to get a filt...

LITTLE INTRO, CRASH COURSE, reminder - This addiction is only a symptom. We use it to relieve our pain. Our pain comes from restlessness, irritability, and discontent in life. Why do we have this R.I.D? Because of our Ego. We can't accept when things don't go our way. Now...

"Hashem's Soldier" posted on the forum: I'm weak, I had a slip today with my eyes at work.... (A true addict is one who tries going to the website KNOWING it is blocked, and yet he tries to go to it anyway). I'm home alone, I still don't have a filter installed here and I...

Walking home from work, I came behind a frum woman who was dressed in way which really triggers me. I will admit that while walking fast to overtake her, I 'drank in' the sight and lusted away. It lasted about 20 seconds, but while the opportunity was still there to catch...

Levi, a Talmid of Duvid Chaim's phone conference writes: I had a test this morning. I was hungry, cranky and in a bit of irritability. I had a plan to go into my office, make two important phone calls that would be critical (or so I thought) regarding about $1000 of dispu...

I installed webchaver on my computer recently. Unfortunately it took a bunch of slips to make me do this. Now I feel bullet proof. I know that I still need to work on my internal traits. Working the steps together with all the other measures I am taking, will hopefully ke...