The Library

I'm sure you've heard the famous poem about two sets of footprints in the sand... This guy died and went up to heaven and was looking back at his whole life and always saw two sets of footprints. And G-d told him that one of them is yours and one of them is mine, I always...

I have been listening to the Phone conferences with Duvid Chaim and I'm happy to report that the unimaginable is B"H occurring in my life. I always wondered when I would get control of my thoughts at the times when I'm faced with a lust challenge. First of all, I've come ...

Sick Man Getting Well is sober for 8 months in SA In recovery, the goal is "Happy, Joyous and Free". Recently, while driving back from a recovery meeting, I had the good fortune of driving by an "acting out" location. As I drove past it, I noticed a frum guy leaving fro...

With the help of my Higher Power, I joined SA recovery in early 2009 and started to gain real sobriety and 12 step recovery in May of last year. Today I celebrated 8 months of sobriety. The most important thing I can tell ANYONE who struggles with this on a small or large...

I believe one of the important steps to sobriety is recognizing that we are not perfect and never will be perfect. To use Steve's moshul, we are all pickles and we won't be cucumbers anymore. But it's okay to be a pickle. Some may say it's even better. If we are aiming fo...

Someone wrote to us: I found one of your first posts to me 12 months ago, that's kept me thinking for all these months: "Yes, we CAN love and be loved, deeper than we could have ever imagined. We truly can find pleasure, comfort and security that we only dreamed cou...

LITTLE INTRO, CRASH COURSE, reminder - This addiction is only a symptom. We use it to relieve our pain. Our pain comes from restlessness, irritability, and discontent in life. Why do we have this R.I.D? Because of our Ego. We can't accept when things don't go our way. Now...

Someone wrote: I fell again last night... I have learned that my urge is sometimes too powerful. "Yosef Hatzadik" answers: You're probably gonna fall again. Why do I say this? I read it in your post. You wrote that you learnt that the urge is sometimes too powerful. As l...

Avraham (a Talmid of Duvid Chaim's groups) writes: The 12 step program, specifically addressing my list of fears in step 5, really helped me overcome procrastination. I was holding myself back from doing things I knew I should be doing. After the Chevra helped me let go o...

Sometimes we just need to get down on our knees and beg Hashem to save us (see here for the halachos of kneeling by R' Simcha Feuerman, Director of Nefesh). We need to get used to stopping whatever we're doing when the lust attacks, and just have a talk with Hashem. If we...

This morning I listened in to my wife's OA call and I had some observations. Many of us (myself included) sometimes have our doubts whether we are addicts (maybe its not really "doubts" but simply pride). Listening in to others describe a different type of addiction - in ...

We struggle so hard to "figure" our way out, to try to understand what's happening. But my experience has been that my understanding "availed me nothing" (as the AA saying goes).Maybe you are beginning to understand that this is a problem that's bigger than you, than you ...

I was talking with someone about the idea of changing our personalities through the 12-Step program. He said, "Is it really true? I can really change?". It seemed a bit hard to believe. So, I explained it like this: It's very rare to find someone who is ENTIRELY SELFISH....

The AA Big Book talks about "being on a new plane of existence"; a spiritual plane. Duvid Chaim often speaks about "Getting out of our heads". "Getting out of my head" means being concerned how other people are feeling, and being helpful when possible. I feel like I've re...

Last night, I was waiting and waiting for my wife to finish getting ready for us to go out. I was ready, the babysitter was there, but some women just take a long time to get going. Finally she says, "come on, lets go already" (as if it was my fault we were late). As we'r...

I heard from someone who is sober for many years in SA, that for the first 7 years he sat in SA meetings and didn't gain anything from the groups. He was "too smart" for the program, and it didn't make its way into his heart. Finally, at wits end, he decided to just nulif...

It is incredible to look back and recall how much pain I was in not long ago. I am still in a lot of pain when I get my mind racing and dwelling on future worries or past regrets. For right now, I am just trying to focus on right now and what I am doing. It may sound od...

I just found out about this amazing website. I've been struggling with this for almost 20 years. Its such a good feeling to be able to share. I've got a streak going on now. It all started innocently with some masturbation when I was 12 years old. I didn't even realize wh...