I am not sure if you read my post yesterday of HELP, I AM FALLING. Well although to day is day 90 for not being mashkiv zerah, I unfortunately slipped over the last couple days in the area of going to inappropriate blogs and websites. Although I feel fairly stupid for giving in when I was so close to the 90 days (I had 87 clean days of no p*&^n or hashkavas zera, I nonetheless gave in with only 4 days to go. Some may ask how I could possibly slip up when I was so close to reaching 90days. I honestly don't have the answer and would welcome any insights. I will say that I am starting fresh today and using this as a learning opportunity that no matter what or how far one has come, it is always just one day at a time!!
P.Y.

i am impressed. keep it up. each day was victory even if you missed out at the end

i notice this pattern a lot. When someone is close to 90 they fall. Hashem wants them not to get complacent and hit 90 easily and say "Yay, I did it, I'm healed". He wants you to realize that an addict will always be an addict, and even after 90 days - although it might get easier - we have to keep up our guard. He wants you to take your recovery to a NEW level and not be satisfied to just hit 90 and be happy. That's why he often makes the person slip right before 90. I have seen this many times, and I have been in touch with Him about it... (just kidding, this is just an hypothesis  )

But the good news is, that you can keep two separate counts of 90. One where you didn't mz"l, which will be coming very soon, and the second of not going to innapropriate sites, which you can start again TODAY.

Keep up the good work. Hashem is very proud of you. Think of how far you've come since the past!

bardichev wrote on 24 Nov 2009 15:38:


A humble man too!  :D ;D

guardureyes wrote on 01 Dec 2009 21:45:

that is a good observation, before I discovered this site, I was battling on my own and would try to hit 30 clean days ( i didn't know about 90) . i fell every time just before 30. this took place for almost a year. Then i found you and with the help of the forum was able to get somewhere.

I totally agree with what Guard says. As always hes on the ball. But here is my thoughts. Its the Y"H. hes trying to fight you to the bitter end. And when he sees your about to reach a milestone of some sort in your milchemes hayetzer hell do anything in the world to stop you. He knows that something like the 90 days is a HUGE building block for the future and he doesnt want you to reach it. Its like in a fight the end is always the hardst cuz the opponent will do anything to stop you from winning

YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!