thanks guys.

i started a 7 day thing, im gonna try to do 7 days of no p&m. im posting here, and will try to update as much as i can in order to keep some accountability. today is day 2. bh.

We are rooting for you!!!
Keep the updates coming!!!

Hey, friend! 
How was shabbos? 

reb chaim thanks for stopping by!

shabbos was very nice bh, was together w a lot of family, we weren't together in some time and it was a beautiful shabbos bh.
today was day 4. I'm very confident in completing my 7 day goal, and im going back to yeshiva tomorrow which will make things easier in many ways.

hope everyone has a truly gute vuch!

Hey! whats doing?

Hey guys, wasn't here in some time.
just did 35 days bh!
I'm gonna have to catch up on things around here.
Hatzlacha tto all:)

Alright friends, iy"h tomorrow I'm gonna make a chazaka of breaking devices. I have a tablet that I needed "l'tzorech parnassa", and if everything goes as planned I'm gonna finish that tzorech tomorrow.
will update w the good news before shabbos b'ezer hashem.
Disclaimer: this is not in any way a heter to have a non kosher device for any tzorech.
2nd disclaimer: I'm not proud of breaking things as I've stated in the past.

Hatzlacha to all 

Daven for someone that needs a big yeshua

horizon wrote on 15 Mar 2024 04:34:

וקרעו לבבכם ואל־בגדיכם ושובו אל־ה' אלקיכם כי־חנון ורחום הוא

interesting diyuk you make. i understood poshut pshat to be not to get distracted by the chitzoiniyus and remember the levavchem as well. but i see what you're saying.

לגופו של ענין , bh i followed through before shabbos, i had an issue loging in so could'nt update.

a gute voch alle yiddin

Hi friends i haven't updated here in some time, so here comes my late night post

Numberwise i'm doing great bh, with over 30 days bli ayin hara. but instead of being excited, i'm kind of dreading the fall which i feel is inevitable. (actually part of me is anticipating it) until about a week ago i was doing really well, and was in a great state of mind. for the first time in a while i felt like i kicked this thing and there isn't a fall in sight. i wasn't thinking about porn at all. not about watching, and not either actively not watching. in the last couple days however i had a couple slips, and i feel like a fall is coming. i also had some personal letdowns which are never fun.
add to that the bein hazmanim syndrom and bam!!

i am hoping for the best (now that sounds like a solid plan), and wishing you all the best.

Hi Horizon. I could totally relate to your share!! Much Hatzlacha!!!

Why do you feel it is inevitable? Change the script.

Shalom! Great to hear from you!

First of all - Keep in touch. Connection helps in so many ways.

And maybe try to analyze what patterns have led to falls in the past. Usually there are triggers. Feelings of anxiety, pain, loneliness, or inadequacy or similar we are in the habit of using porn to numb and escape from... What has been the triggers for the last 3 falls? What has precipitated the "slips". Has something made you "go looking"? 

We have choices. There is hope of real change.

There is light on the Horizon, friend.

Here's a warm hand,
Chaim Oigen 

thank you all for your imput.

HHM you are very right. the script can be changed.
Reb chaim, you are also right. its important to be self aware and understand what's going on: what do i want? what's bothering me?
i think for me this last time, it was more of a feeling of yiush. i'm not in a good mood, and i'm not even looking to fix it. although w that being said, the script can still be changed. sometimes you need a kick in the pants.
anyway things are going better bh, and i'm being very proactive nowadays. 
today is day 4, moving only upward w the help of the almighty.

hatzlacha!