i had ADBL as a teenager, never took it far and never mastrubated, just in my mind a lot, till i grew out of it bh
lots of luck guys

I don’t get into the details of my fetishes on the forum because I don’t want to trigger anyone. I myself was never specifically into abdl but since I was actively friends with many people in the fetish world I did encounter many people that were into that.  I understand the shame and the fear of “vanilla” people discovering what I am into and also the heightened pleasure achieved when being involved in a fetish.
 There are a few things that I have learned as I work towards recovery.  1) it does not make a difference where you are coming from and what you did in the past. It matters only where you are headed.  2) don’t just yourself by your fails. Every time you try again is a win.  3)no one here will judge you for what you did or for your fails - everyone of us is a hero for fighting this fight.  4)Hashem loves us even more than the people on this forum and will continue to help us no matter how many times we fall we just need to get up and try again. 5)personal connections and keeping busy will make this much easier. 

I hope this is helpful and wish you continued Hatzlocha. 

Although I started out as mostly ABDL and took it pretty far (avoiding triggers) that lust has somewhat subsided. Most of the struggle for me by now is other fetishes (unfortunately most probably worse than ABDL). Either I've sort of moved on, or (Hopefully!) I've started to outgrow it too.

Hi all, 
Hope everyone is doing great here, I believe that a big part of this for me was excepting it and letting go, the fact that I was so embarrassed of people knowing about this made me think deeper into it to a point where I was always thinking about it and how to avoid anyone from finding out about it. 


Best of luck to all here.
Stay Strong.
david.e123

fetishes often lose their appeal after a while - i believe the underlying lust is not directly coming from the fetish, that is just a manifestation of some inner desire for a certain feeling.  After a while you realize that the experience doesn't fully fulfil that desire and you transfer the fetish to something else.  just my take on things

Vehkam wrote on 05 Jan 2022 19:47:

from a fellow who has a fetish for over 35 years, i am inclined to disagree.

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I disagree to the sentiment that the fetish will go away by itself, but I don't think @Trouble would necessarily require medication for having the 'pull' towards a fetish for 35 years as @Sleepy is suggesting. (And I say this as someone who is B"H taking what, with Hashem's help, can remain the right medication for years to come.) Medication may not be the answer here.
Sometimes therapy (a LOT of it) helps get to the root cause of some of the buried emotional things causing the fetish. The fetish may never completely go away and be eradicated but the hold it has on you may diminish significantly. I think that I personally have a possible fighting chance  to fight my nisyonos here only because I have started (after being in MANY therapy sessions) to tap in to the deepest roots of what pushes/pulls me in the first place.
I'm wondering @Trouble if what I'm saying makes sense to you too? I understand that your situation can be very different.

My post was a response to jackthejew. I was not suggesting that all or even most fetishes eventually just go away by themselves. In any case I am not a professional but was just giving my take on things based on my life experiences.  Obviously other people have different experiences and opinions.  

StrugglingWithTheUnusual wrote on 06 Jan 2022 00:57:

thanks. medication can help anything, or not. so can drugs. therapy - getting to the root cause, and dealing with that cause, can help as well. i actually shied away from that at the end (when it felt like the therapist/specialist was getting too close to my inner core). it also can be that fetishes are simply disguised lust, and when one works hard and recovers from the lust issues, the fetish may miraculously vanish (and perhaps that was the intent of the original poster).

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Trouble wrote on 06 Jan 2022 02:08:

I definitely feel that since I've been working on lust issues my ABDL urges have B"H become very rare and it no longer has the attraction it once did. I've also addressed some of the root causes through therapy

Hi I'm in my mid 20s married and struggling with ABDL since my childhood 
is anyone here that got help on this site with it?

einanilimili wrote on 04 Jun 2023 04:10:

have you tried any therapy? there are many forms of fetishes.  the specifics of each one is generally not so relevant.  A qualified sex addiction therapist should be able to help you understand what is going on and how to stop the unhealthy behavior.

No I didn't I just didn't know where to start from
thanks for the advice 
but I still want to talk to someone that got out of it

I also struggled with this. I have adhd and through adhd coaching I realized there is a connection between this and adhd. Don’t know if this is nogeeiah. But it changed the game for me

Hey, also struggling since childhood. Would love any insight as well.