harav hatzadik tzadik 90,
what a courageously honest post!
i feel for you and i feel even more a sense of pride and accomplishment at how far you've come and how you are ready and willing to face yourself and make things right for yourself and at the same time help others. you are a warrior in more than one sense and you inspire me.
zemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsssssssssssssss

Duck wax

Daven Wincha

Dill Wickles

Door Wopper

Dingle Wasp


Actually...

DRINK.  WOODFORD

Tzaddik!

I think this is your kind of guy (or at least the kind you used to be...)!

Is there something wrong with "His bardiness"?

ben durdayah wrote on 30 Mar 2011 19:11:


Hi - I'm a little confused, and more than a little intrigued...  Care to enlighten me?

I think he meant - background of abuse & completely off their rocker.

R emoving
A ddiction
M eans
B eginning
O ver

& I think he was referring to the idea of bombing the Yetzer Horah to smithereens!!!!!

Jester and 7up helped the dUrdayans protect the hoover dam back in 86.

jester, the anarchists cookbook-you'd really enjoy it, eyin sham. Cluster bombs are a little outta my league, but i used your trick too-but by blowing the thoughts away with an m-60/rambo style. now i just dont have to deal with those thoughts because....i'm recovering!! one nanosecond at a time

im typing on a hebrew keyboard with 300 characters and it's making me nawwshusss

tomorrow is my first SA meeting, so i'll probably have a prophetic experience and then post it on this thread

i have been offline recently for 2 reasons-
1)forum addiction tossed me a little insanity a bit ago, that's taken care of

2) i have been writing something GYE related  that is quite healthy and fun for me and im almost done, iyH

it will now have operating instructions from durdaya for the motorized howitzer

JKOT

i survived a simcha, triggers are atrophying, sobering up, thank you GOD

triggers bite less, rid is lessening, habbits changing, sanity rising

if it continues this way i may just become one day like everyone else...can u imagine....
thank you for coming to the thread,
all of you are in my  hearts
tz

oh, and thank you dov for your own stint with forum ______ (i cant write the word addiction anywhere even near dov's name)
i learned a lot from it
you see, Hashem helped me through your struggle

you always inspire, even when....

jrioots (just rambo it outta the sky)=(kot)

tzaddik90 wrote on 31 Mar 2011 15:52:

Please Don't!!
i like you the way you are

tzaddik90 wrote on 31 Mar 2011 15:52:


In my day, I read the Compleat Terrorist as well as the AC, purely out of theoretical interest.  In fact, much of my problem has been (still is, really) an intellectual interest in absolutely everything, and pushing any boundary that I can find.

I would point out that I was a teenager at the time, and might have mentioned that such an approach might not work for more mature-minded people.  Mature or not, it still works for me on the odd occasion.

It did not address the issue, but prevented the symptom of certain thoughts getting any attention, airtime or PR, which managed to prevent associated actions.  Like (in more ways than one) our most dear cousin, the Iranian Prime Minister, the Yetzer Hora does not care whether it is making sense or not - any publicity is good publicity.

I, too, found that over time the thoughts got tired of spontaneous and immediate combustion.  Of course, as with any adversary, the Yetzer Hora took another approach, and will continue to do so until I (we) reach 120.

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 31 Mar 2011 15:44:


Bingo!

Something about that strategy sounded VERY Rambo-ish...

Sorry, my mistake.  I was just trying to be helpful.

Me3 wrote on 31 Mar 2011 14:37:


I surely do present as being completely off my rocker.  I shall work on this, so as not to scare off the villagers.

I actually do not generally consider myself as having had a "background of abuse", in fact, quite the opposite.  I did, however, suffer from some isolated episodes that were...  dirty, but not "traumatic", at least not consciously.  It was not until many years later that someone pointed out that it was abuse, and that I recognized it as such.  And that I had actually followed in this pattern of behavior.

I still reject this on some level, since I do not want "excuses" for my behavior (I believe she was making excuses to justify her feelings towards me despite my prior actions).  Abuse is a strong word, and I still shy away from it, since what I encountered was in no way comparable to what other people more entitled to the term have suffered.

@tzaddik90
Apologies for hijacking your thread - it was unintentional.