The Library

I just wanted to say that I am really happy when you put in links to excerpts from the shiurim of R' Avigdor Miller ztz"l. I used to listen to his shiurim non-stop, 2 - 3 a day, and got so much chizuk from them, when times were really hard for me. So, I want to let everyo...

Hello all, it's been a long time. I just want to share some more ideas with all of you. In my battle with this, I realized there was a void in me. When I gave up lust it felt like I had given up my 'best friend'. Rabbi Twerski told me to fill that void with Torah (see thi...

I heard on Shabbos, "Ha chodesh ha zeh l'chem" is gematria Mashiach ben David. It doesn't say l'chah (singular) rather l'chem (plural). With the power of us (davka) together, with friends in avoda together, we can have our personal geula. I've learned so much from the mee...

The Metzora's punishment is isolation! Isolation is a punishment! Let's stop punishing ourselves and get out of isolation!

V'assei ess chatascha v'ess olasecha v'chapeir ba'adcha uv'ad ha'am. (9:7) Quotes from Dov: "Hashem led me to Fall with an aveira so that I should realize how low I am & get a jolt. That is what got me into Recovery." "When my Recovery includes Step 12, I'm making my ...

What is needed in Klal Yisrael today is not merely prevention of addiction, but a whole area of avodas Hashem through which a person, by defeating his yetzer hara daily, can be zocheh to great z'chuyos and to be poel yeshuos. In serving Hashem, there really is no such thi...

On the one hand, we can't fight the YH ourselves and the only true way to succeed is by surrendering the victory over to Hashem. But, at the same time, we can't just continue to do what we've been doing and say "Look Hashem, I'm in your hands now so don't have complaints ...

Maybe only He has the answer for you. We only have to listen. Isn't easy to listen. Maybe it's not a pretty answer. But you know in your heart that it's true. And you're honest enough to know you really really need help badly with this not so pretty picture. This n...

I'm working the 12 steps, on the phone calls, really trying to make some changes, but they're slow to come. But I'm starting to realize that it's part of a long process - slowly, I'm being given the tools to help beat this. I don't have them all yet, but I'm slowly learni...

I can say that since getting my problems under control, my marraige has improved so much and my life is so much better that I am now now controlling myself because I want to be happy. My selfishness tells me to control myself because that results in my being happier. What...

Realizing and admitting the severity of your problem is a good step towards recovery. You are recognizing that it's not just a little difficulty with shmiras eineyim. We can't recover until we first realize we have a major problem from which we NEED to recover.All that st...

I've been reading a lot about recent Gedolim and it occurred to me that the tools needed to overcome lust addiction are exactly the same as those exhibited by our greatest Gedolim. Simple acceptance that we're not meant to "have it all". You can't act out in the morning...

Welcome! You will stop acting out, but you may never stop being vulnerable to acting out. You will learn what's for you to do and what's for Hashem to do (the age old hishtadlut-vs. bitachon issue). You will grow close to "HKBH, so close. And then when He turns His Face,...

Welcome! My experience is, and every veterano on this cite affirms, that there's no beating this addiction. Most of us here are lust addicts. And even though things can settle down, and we come closer to Hashem, and begin doing for and thinking about others, and even th...

The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 2, 1) says that, if a person faces the same Nisayon, and overcomes it ONCE, that is Teshuva Gemura. The Rambam also says (Hilchos Teshuva 2, 3) that Teshuva (here he doesn't use the stronger term "Teshuva Gemura") is where Hashem testifies tha...

I'm so grateful to Hashem, SA, GYE, and all the support. I realized today that I need to surrender more. I read in the White Book that part of surrender is surrendering the right to act out. Another big Yesod of SA is that the recovery and surrender has to be against lust...

We forget simple facts of life... Sometimes, when I look at my kid's smile I wonder to myself how I could ever possibly act out... I wish that instead of getting overwhelmed by images of the pornography and desires to act out, every time I get stressed or lonely or irrita...

This is a problem of connection. Most of us have a hole in our soul and we fill it up by escaping into a fantasy land where quick pleasures give us temporary relief and then we feel horrible and do it again to feel better again. This is no way to live. Figure out what is ...