Great Idea! Chaza"l say that one who davens for his friend is answered first!

Jack, Breaking such a difficult habit is true Messiras Nefesh. You are feeling the taste of "death" itself. But I have good news for you. The "death" you feel, is the "death" of the Yetzer Hara. You are feeling HIS death throws. The only reason you feel it so strongly is because he has become so attached to you through the addiction. But every time you feel this taste of death, REJOICE! It is HE who is DYING, not you. While he dies a slow and painful death, you are begining to live! Zeh Hasatan Holech Lemisah Ve'atah Tikanes Lechayim Tovim Aruchim VeShalom!

Dear Holy Yidden, How I love you all so much!! Thank you for sharing that with us!

First of all, I just want to say how refreshing it is to hear of a real success! You are an inspiration to us all on this forum.

Chaza"l say, "The words of Torah cannot last through someone, unless he has first stumbled in them". It could be that almost all men at one time or another fell in this sin. When we are young, unmarried and not yet mature, it is difficult to be fully clean and in control. However this is G-d's plan. This has to happen for a person to be able to properly fight the evil inclination and to know what he is up against. Once a man knows what brings him to fall, he can start to avoid those things. He will come to realize how important guarding the eyes is-- something that until that point he may have not paid much attention to its importance. Because he has fallen in the past, he can know now what he needs to do to become a Tzaddik. If he had never been brought to fall, he would never become truly strong and truly holy. That is why Chaza"l say, "in the place where a Ba'al Teshuva stands, not even a perfect Tzaddik can stand".

As to your question of SSA - please see this page of the FAQ on our site: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ16.asp
I think there is lots of info and links there to help you in this regard.

Wow, that IS a great idea! I will make a note to work on that in the coming days... Thanks!

Yasher Koach!

Great post Mevakesh, I'm saving it for a chizuk e-mail one day (and I added it to your page)

Jack you're doing great. Once you hit 90 days I'm going to put your story up in our "Stories of Recovery" section to inspire hundreds maybe thousands of other Yidden....

Jack, you don't know what worlds you are shaking and how many Zechusim you are getting, even some you don't know about. For example, I am in touch daily with another struggler who has just past his 40 day mark of sobriety. He wrote me yesterday that he is getting a lot of chizuk from you Jack, and from this whole thread on the forum... So without you even knowing it, you are helping other yidden too.

Not only that, but as you progress, you will post here the tips that are helping you hold out and I will put them up on our site under "Tips from fellow strugglers" to help other yidden. Who knows how long this site will be available and how many yidden will read it, maybe even for the next 100 years! (I already put Mevakesh's reply to you above under his page there, and that too is in YOUR zechus).

And that's all from a physical point of you. Spiritually, every Jew is connected and your battle on the front-lines is for all of us!

Lastly, is there any way you could change jobs? Tip #7 on this page reads as follows:

If you are determined enough to change, you may have to make some serious life changes. Often, today's office work environment is very unhealthy for someone trying to guard their eyes and the holiness of their bris. If it's important enough for you, you may have to change your job or job environment. Or, for example, if you find yourself tested again and again on your way to work by bus, you may have to find an alternative way to get there. Also, if you live in a non-Jewish or non-religious environment where it is very difficult to stay sexually clean and to guard the eyes, you may be able to find the determination in your heart to get up and move to a Kosher, more religious environment. Remember, "life-changing" takes sometimes "life-shaking" moves. But you can be sure that if your motives are for G-dliness, G-d will not let you down.

Jack, this is fun. We are battling the greatest evil together. All of us. And we are all cheering you on. This is what it's all about. We are finally doing what we came to this world to do!

Avoid places of triggers as much as possible. And when times are tough Jack, take it "one day at a time". Promise yourself not to do anything today and sleep on it first. You can convince the Yetzer Hara to give you just until the next day... And tomorrow is not in your hands now anyway.

Some more tips...

Go to the mirror and look at yourself. Watch yourself as if you are a 3rd party from outside. Study your face and pity your body that it is mere flesh and bones and will one day rot in the ground.

Do some deep breathing, in and out. Breath in freedom, breath out the poisonous lust.

The Yetzer Hara was given permission by Hashem to use "pretend sipuk" as a bluff. He is like the wicked witch offering the little boy candy so she can capture him. Will you take the candy she is offering you?

Remember, there is nothing there. It looks so tempting, but it is like a big colorful balloon that kids love - but adults know it's full of air. Use the needle of the truth in your heart to pop that balloon and you'll see nothing was there.

Remember these great sayings:

Let go and let G-d.

Once is too much. A thousand times is never enough.

Pray "Let your will be done, Hashem, not mine".

He wants our soul, not the pleasure. Otherwise, why is a thousand times not enough for him?

Rosh Hashana is coming. You have come so far! you will stand before Hashem on this great day as a true spiritual warrior this year, not as someone who knows in his heart that everything he is saying is really a lie.

You can do it. we are here for you. Hashem is here for you. Be strong!

Good Shabbos from Israel.

P.S. Maybe print this post out and keep it with you to read when feeling weak :-)

P.P.S. In the future, if you need chizuk, there are hundreds of tips on our site (especially the "Mind tips") and hundreds of previous chizuk e-mails to browse through and find SO MUCH chizuk... You'll send that dirty menuval into outer space!

Because of the inappropriate posts we've been getting lately - every 5 minutes sometimes - (I believe it is a malicious software program that does it), I changed the forum preferences so that guests can no longer post without being registered. However, this still allows anonymous posting since you can use a made-up e-mail address to register (even though it says "it must be a valid e-mail address"). You just have to be logged in to post...

I hope this helps!