Comments on Step one in The 12&12:
1: "We have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of providence can remove it from us."
Maybe I'm being over medayik, but notice how it doesn't say here that we need an act of providence to get us not to act out, but it says we need an act of providence to remove our obsession towards drinking (lusting). We will IY"H examine this more later, but this may be one of many mehalchim in dealing with the bechira question. Almost all old-timers agree that it is possible to white-knuckle it and not act out at least some of the time for at the very least some addicts. To argue on such a point would be stupid and against what is quite obviously demonstrated by the many addicts who get periods of sobriety by sheer force and will power.
One of the points of powerlessness (aside from we cannot control and enjoy which we will IY"H get to later) is that we have this insane obsession to lust and we are sick in the head. Even if we manage to stop by killing ourselves with self-determination, we will be far from healed, will never be happy, joyous, & free, and will almost for sure end up acting out again. We will still be obsessed with lust and walk on a constant tightrope of maybe turning back to our drug. We would never learn how to deal with our emotions and spiritual emptiness and will end up living a painful and sick life. Rabbi Twerski ZTZ"L writes extensively about the concept of a "dry drunk", this is someone who is dry and stopped acting out, but has not worked a program and is therefore still sick and suffering.
2: "Only an act of providence can remove it from us."
There are different ways of viewing and understanding the concept of an act of providence removing our lust from us, and there are legitimate ways to view it no matter what our hashkafic beliefs are.
Before addressing that, It may be wise to mention the difference between the "Bill W. experience" and the spiritual experience mentioned in 'Appendix 2' of the Big Book. Bill W, co-founder of A.A. and author of The Big Book, recovered from alcoholism in what we may refer to as a "sudden spiritual experience". In his story, written as chapter 1 of the Big Book, Bill relates how a friend and former alcoholic visited him and related how he recovered by accepting and practicing a new spiritual way of life. He laid down what was an early version of the 12-Step Program in a conversation that lasted a few hours. Over the course of the conversation Bill was convinced and had a sudden complete change of attitude, outlook on life and personality. He instantly grabbed hold of this new way of life and didn't let go until the day he died, thereby having what we call a sudden spiritual experience. Many of the original AAs had similar recovery stories.
In the back of The Big Book, in Appendix 2, it describes how while this may be the pathway of some it is a far cry from everyone's experience. Many and maybe most addicts have a slow and gradual recovery and that's totally fine and legitimate. In fact I could be wrong, but it seems to me that in SA it is much less common to have a Bill W experience than it is in AA. Most SAers it seems, have a slow and gradual spiritual experience. The reasons for this are irrelevant, but I believe one reason is because for us it is much more difficult to get away from our drug than it is for alcoholics.
For us, each time we take a second look on the street or fantasize for even a few seconds too long, we are like the alcoholic who holds a bottle of booze in his hand and sniffs & inhales the aroma. He may not be drinking but it's damn hard to get sober that way. If we lust a bit more, we are like an alcoholic who swishes some bourbon around in his mouth and then spits it out. A bit more lust and we are just like the alcoholic drinking beer. We may not be formally acting out but the more actions of lust that we take the slower our recovery will be.
Now back to "only an act of providence can remove it from us", there are a few ways to understand this and some views will be more palatable to each individual addict than others. There is room for everyone in SA, take whatever works for you. I am posting the following opinions and experience of mine only for people who are bothered by this; if it doesn't bother you it's probably better to skip it.
1) G-d comes in with a purely unnatural miracle and removes the lust from us as soon as we turn to him.
2) When we turn to G-d, trust him and ask him for help he will come and expel the obsession from us-basic tefillah and bitachon like anything else.
3) The way Hashem is noheig with the world is that when we turn to him and give our lives over to his care he will come in save us from our lust.
4) The way Hashem created the world is that when we honestly turn to him and work on our defects of character, naturally the obsession for lust
leaves us. (We don't need a special hashgachah more than everyone else like in ways 1&3.)
5) There is another thought process, I don't want to post it lest it confuse people, but if you're bothered by this you can PM me.
The Big Book constantly seems to imply that view #1 is the inner workings of the 12-Steps. It's also a possibility to easily fit understanding #2 into the pashut reading of the book. Here's the problem, yiddishkiet never guarantees that Hashem will perform miracles for each of us or that he will answer our teffilos. Step 2 requires only to believe that Hashem could restore us to sanity so that's not an issue. The problem is in the beginning of chapter 5 it is clear that part of the program is to believe ''That G-d could and would if he were sought."
There is a famous machlokes if we can have enough bitachon and therefore receive or cause to happen whatever we are having bitachon on. This is a machlokes which goes into the basic understanding of what exactly bitachon is and is way beyond the scope of this post. The point is even according to R' Yisroel Salanter and the Mussar movement that "if we have enough bitachon it will happen", this would require extremely high levels of bitachon which none of us can ever dream of obtaining.
I personally struggled greatly with this question in my early days in program, on the one hand I see it working for millions of people across all 12-step programs on the other where is there a guarantee that Hashem will perform this miracle for us? Eventually I discussed this with a sober member who confirmed for me that understanding #4 is absolutely legitimate and therefore I should have no problems. (There is another huge question but I think it's better not to discuss it here anyone can PM me if they have any Qs). I believe in Hashem like anyone else therefore I can turn to him with mehalech #2 with tefillah and bitachon, but my assurance that it will happen that "G-d could and would if he were sought" comes from understanding #4 and the fact that it has clearly worked for millions of people.
I'm writing this to share my experience, because I struggled greatly with these questions in the beginning. Hearing from some old-timers that there is no need to deal with a few legitimate questions did not work for me. When I was able to discuss it with other old-timers and work out answers to my concerns, I had no more problem with these things. The reason why I needed answers, I was told by the first set of old-timers, was my sense of control and I just needed to let go. The problem was it simply wasn't true, my need for answers is because included in getting honest and sober was not replacing one lie of addiction with another lie of SA. Until I could work through a few simple questions I was still living a lie and could not recover. I was not getting honest with myself, but covering things up by working a program that I did not really believe in. Letting it go just meant "don't think about it" I was still living a lie.
The 12-Steps specifically are built not to be theology and works even if you "choose your own conception of G-d" if that's true it will for sure work with yiddishkiet. I do not have to change yiddishkiet and machshava to fit SA; SA fits into yiddishkiet. The Big Book spends a lot of time in the chapter "We Agnostics" explaining how !2-Steps can work for anyone with any belief system; that seems to tell me that it's absolutely legitimate to fit it into yiddishe machshavah which is our belief system. Why some frum SA old-timers fly off the rails when topics like this are brought to light is beyond me, although I have no doubt that their motives are pure. Luckily I have other 12-Step old timers who I can follow.
This is my experience and all I can share. I recognize that if certain old-timers would see this post, they would eat their hats, but I have other old-timers who I am following and that's what works for me. I'm sure there are 12-stepers on this forum who will read this and venomously disagree; please post a response, a variety of viewpoints is good for everyone.