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I like what you said about priority! Yes this SUR MeRa is the most improtant thing I can do. Even if I learn less, give up on some Chumras and such - I will have gained victory if I don't go after lust. and if I DO (Chas vShalom) I will deemed a loser in lust in life, no matter what "great" learning I did.
For example, If I stay up all night and learn - I could become so exhausted that I might look for some relaxing pictures... this actually happened in the past! So in the end - was the mishmar worth it? Did I gain in my avodas HaShem?!

Keep strong!
Chaim

Joy - The main place of joy is in the heart (Likutey Moharan 1, 24:2)

(Extract)

Of all man's emotions, joy is the most exhilarating, as well as the most elusive. One who feels joy in one's marriage, job and environment will be eager to continue productively on his or her chosen path. On the other hand, depression, the opposite of joy, is man's worst enemy and the greater stumbling block to his achievements.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that joy and happiness can free a person from the restraints that bind him to the material world.  "One cannot attain yishuv haDaat (mental calm, serenity of mind, sober judgment) unless one first attains a joyous state of mind". It must be a powerful joy that penetrates the barricades which have been established by the many problems and confusions in life, and that can find its way into the heart. The verse tells us (Isaiah 55.12), "You shall depart (the exile) with joy.." - With joy we can leave behind our frustrations and anticipate God's help and salvation.

The power of joy is so intense that it can bring one to a revelation of Godliness within one's heart. One who perform the mitzvot with joy elevates the Divine Presence from its exile, and one is able to "see" God, for His Presence becomes revealed.

How TRUE!!

I struggle greatly in this area of attaining simchas hachaim. One of those things that are a million times easier said then actually done

The menuvel's main battle is not to get us to sin rather to rob ous of the the simchas hachaim!
He will do anything to make us loose our "mut",

cause that is when he won!!

I agree that it is easier said than done, although probably the best method to actualise this expression of joy (inner or external joy) is from focusing ourselves towards the benefit of other people; nurturing our relationships with our family and friends and making more effort to care and love them. All the more so, to focus our every decisions and behaviours towards Hashem.

I have written several posts with mention of depression because I was struggling to attain a true state of joy. Not that I was depressed per-ca but had not realised inner peace and serenity.

A great deal of effort has helped me in reversing such a state to finding more joy and whilst it can take time (subjectively) it should be a goal in and of itself. The consequences of finding this inner joy are incredible (although I am nearly there, I am writing more from previous experiences). 

It should help us all in overcoming any lust temptations and in overcoming our addictions as we strive to serve Hashem to the fullest of our abilities.

As I selected my "Message icon" by accident it was the "thumb down". boruch Hashem I feel privileged and zocher to choose it to "thumb up" lol

My inner reality and mindset is tenacious and focused so although my extremity/discipline of keeping well away from anything inappropriate or forbidden has been reduced to a 'normal' level, it is still very disciplined to the point that I know the tests that are being handed my way are been passed. But it is by no means easy and requires constant attention, awareness and concentration. It is important to remind ourselves that each and every time we remain strong and seek Divine assistance we are a step closer to teshuvah shleima and combating any remaining lust.

Yesterday, as I was in the local library, very much suddenly a huge wave of taiva (desire) overcame me; it was so unreal but it was so powerful that it caused me tremendous confusion. In a public place, after three weeks of being fully (strictly) clean and holy this random spontaneous desire full of improper thoughts overcame me. Then and there, I was battling with myself trying to vanish such confusion.

The best part; I survived. Not only survived, overall there were feeling of victory. Hashem helped me (I did ask Him to) : )
and any improper thoughts were transformed into strength and determination b/c experience has shown me that had I merely ignored such feeling it may not have been so good afterwards. The lesson is to be very self-aware and to keep reminding ourselves what we want and the reasons behind it.

I feel that as I start to make the most progress in this area in a long time, the stronger the feeling of 'wanting something inappropriate'. But omg, its amazing how badly the yetzer hara is loosing this battle!! : )

Nezach (Victory Forever)

May Hashem help us always - and may we all constantly ask and pray to Hashem for His wonderful guidance and protection.

Elul is here - Chodesh tov!!

We have such an awesome opportunity over the coming days and weeks. My brothers & sisters, this is the time to "let go and let God". Now is the time to resolve in the holiest manner, to literally change our ways b'Tehuva Shaleima.
Let Hashem help us, so that we can help ourselves. We all want to break free but we cannot do it alone. We are never alone!!

Every day throughout the month of Elul, may Hashem give us the courage, the strength and the words to express ourselves to Him in prayer - and in niggun (song). If we can reach this lofty level of joy then surely teshuva is close and welcoming for us to return to Hashem different to how we have been in the past.

Lets make each and every day count. For this is our life


Enjoy this Niggun and let is strengthen ourselves:

nezach wrote on 21 Aug 2009 10:54:


As a wise turtle once said..."Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift...Thats why it's called 'The Present'."

In fact, I'm making this my signature...

1 month & proud.

Everyone should have an amazing week ahead

Stay strong

nezach wrote on 23 Aug 2009 20:47:


Shkoyach! And you too!

Nezach, you are a true inspiration to us all! Keep up the great work, and keep giving it over to Hashem - while you keep doing YOUR part.

Netzach, I've been reading up on your progress and I am so proud of your victories. Keep going strong and don't let anything stand in the way of your iron resolve and determination.

Your mention about making each day count reminds me of a line I once read from Dov: "Instead of counting days, make each day count". Beautiful!

Great posts. Don't stop writing! 

2B

 

Hello Everyone..I have been away on holiday and now i'm back!! And I have missed writing but have managed to read some of the recent Chizuk emails which I am grateful for.

My initial goal has been to reach 30 days, and now that I have managed the full month the aim is to push for 40 days, which is achievable b'ezrat Hashem.

Guys, it has been such a crazy past week I do not even know where to start (apart from having a great vacation lol). Please read the following as an initial post following some of the tests which have come my way over the past few days:

It was no coincidence that the apartment that I was staying in was located in close proximity to certain types of clubs; there were people trying to hand out leaflets to invite me in! Although my immediate response was to refuse (there was no desire as it is morally so low and we strive for dignity and truth), this has me thinking of the similarities to such content on the internet - this was an objective approach to our situation and once again strengthened my resolve and determination to be clean forever more. b'Hashem my friends who were with me have strength and discipline in shemirat einayim and this was great chizuk for me.

Whilst this occurred several time, it did not end there. One morning I entered a lift alone (without my friends) and a women point-blank invited me to her place! Now that's pretty crazy!

Without even having a thought or hesitation, I believe Hashem saved me as the words "No" almost upset and surprised her. I said "bye" to her and walked straight out.
Again, there was no 'desire for lust' but my point is not about my strengths etc - but that we are all capable of 'walking away' from a dangerous situation even without a fight!!

The challenges that I had to fight afterwards, on each occasions, was not having inappropriate thoughts or fantasy about 'what could have happened'. Hashem protected and saved me and I am eternally grateful.

I am pleased that I have experience personal growth and resolve as even on the occasions when I would look at a women for a few seconds my thoughts would return to Hashem, to Teshuvah and to my determination to break free and be clean.

Nezach.

I have no words. Tzadikim, Kedoshim! Ashrei Chelkecha be'Olam hazeh u'be'olam Haba!

NETZACH YIU ARE A TZADDIK YESOD OLAM!!!!!

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
b