not sooooo nutty.

today is 32. i wanted to have assur thoughts today. just to lossen up a little bit. i told myself, im not a fool. controlling yourself from m***** isnt the only part of this addiction. controlling your mind is also a part of the addiciton and needs to be worked on also, people in my class set me off for a couple seconds. but i took control.
artscrol is more of a crutch.

silent, i guess it sounds good, but its my skill that the problem is. i also need time to do chazzarah bymyself or someone on the same level as me, but i dont have time. im trying to make a scheduale of my day and see were i can squeeze in all those things i want to squeeze in.
ZS i want to be able to do it by myself. i guess that the idea of grades is the thing i hate the most that makes me preasured.

its funn yhow during the day we have no time at all for ourselves but when it comes to taavah, we have all the time we need.

Soldier,

You are right on target with that last statement. Wow. I am always running from place to place. I never have enough time to do anything and I never have enough time to meet up with my friends and catch up. Even if I spend too long eating, I feel nervous for wasting time. Then, even on the busiest days, I can spend hours in front of a computer screen.... doing that thing we do.

It sounds absurd... It is absurd. It makes no sense at all.... It must be... what do we call that again? O yeah, an addiction!

This week was a different kind of week. There was no looking back to count the hours I spent lusting, feelings bad for all my wasted breaths and minutes on this earth. Baruch Hashem for recovery!

HS, your awareness is great! teach me how to do it...

about the Artscroll gemaras, i entirely understand you, and more power to you.

KOT! you are doing fantastic

HashemsSoldier wrote on 12 Nov 2010 05:24:

;D So true!  :D

Glad to hear that you're being smart, and are focusing on being free!

i just accomplished a mitzvah deoraisa. i had a perfect oppurtunity. i was walking home and i looked up and i saw a very good looking women (enough said) and all in 2 seconds a million things flashed through my head. but i forced myself to look down. who cares? even better than how she looks, i can accomplish a mitzvah deraisa! have a great shabbas everyone!

may we all be zoicheh to these mitzvois.

gevalldddiiiiiggggg.
git shabbisssssss.

34. hello my dear friends. how is everyone? have a good shabas?
baruch hashem the weather was bad today so i did not have a chance to really look at any woman. the ones i did see though, were covered in coats. anyone ready for another week of trucking? i am!

We love stinky weather, don't we.  :

We are a sorry lot. A happy lot, but still a shtikle sorry.... :-*

hi HS, a gutte voch!

you keep rocking the house with your avodah!

i think Dov meant that we love stinky weather cause we are NOT fair-weather friends, and when the weather gets stinky you can see who your real friends are, and the tzadikim here on GYE slog through the mud to get a friend out of trouble...

we are just sorry that we sometimes forget to bring galoshes....

Dov, did i get that right?  :-\

it for sure sounds right!

Stinky Shminky.  If we want to lust, us addicts have xray vision.  One curve through the overcoat and we can be gone.  Hence, Guard Your (My) Eyes.

When you don't take the second look, there can be "afterburn" while the rush feeling is going away.  Once we've turned away, we've done the mitzvah.  Ask Hashem for something.

that is true. here i m. by myself. having to choose what to do. im am sooooooooooo craving it. the tv is behind me. i wont be able to get to any p*** but i can get to the R movies that are rated for s**
i really want to do it....so bad. such a strong urge. but i know tommorow morning i will wake up in one of 2 ways.
1) uch its day one. im soooo annoyed. i need to take my tension out on something and end up having to wait another day for day one.
2) orrrrr    i could wake up tomorrow happy, have extra kavvanah in the bracha of modim. be able to learn without the guilt of a previous fall

ok thank you GYE for convincing me. i think im gona sign off my computer now. run upstairs to bed before the yetzer tries to get me.

also. i am taking a neder that before if i want to turn the tv on tonight, i will come to GYE to post something here first.
thanks guys!

Rabbi Miller:  TV is ToieiVa.

world:    shluff gutt.
sleep good.


we're keeping an eye on you.
the tough battles are the ones that get you to the next rung on the ladder of avodas H'.
bardichev:  marines say:  pain is fear leaving the body.
stick it out.
it's k'dai.

w

HS - Nice! And doesn't it feel good after you do that? Doing a mitzva d'oraisa certainly feels good, but also (which may be the same thing), realizing that you've turned away from poison, from death, from something empty and fake, and chosen to drink from reality, instead.