hi momo.
i think this is my first post on your thread 
one time i learned in my daily shi'ur from my rebbe, that the Y"H want and like our sadness very very much.
this is his food, and when we give him the food he becomes stronger and drop us again, more and more till the collapse.

my rebbe told us even if we had a big fall , we shouldn't be in stress, we must enforce ourself to be in simcha, or at least not in stress.
if you can't be in simcha just try to be regular, to forget your fall, don't refer to the fall kinda something didn't happen.

please, start in such way, and the rest we be easier.

BEHAZLACHA MY FRIEND!

OneLife, or Momo - you may enjoy a vort I posted on ChazakAmenu's thread this morning....nothin else for me to say...
Love,
Dov

and Momo, not ready to give in,
is inspiring all of us...

;D ;D ;D

GMG!!!

Fully agree.
Which is one of the main reasons that it is so important to try avoid reaching this stage before it happens. Once depression overcomes us, in essence we really have lost free will. I dont need to tell you, or anyone who has ever suffered depression, that once it hits, it sucks the life force from you leaving you with no energy or desire to get out of it. BEFORE it begins, a game plan must be set in place of how to deal if it occurs. Like earthquake and fire drills - preparation can mean the difference between life and death.

I know that you personally feel like a failure to yourself, and everyone else Momo (not that anyones opinion should count except yours!) but to be honest, I see you very differently.
To me, you epitomize the ageless quintessence of a Jew. Almost be definition, Yidden are known as the indominable nation which wont remain down. For thousands of years the goyim have knocked us down again and again, yet somehow, miraculously, we always rise up again. True we may be battered and bruised, but we are here -while eventually, our enemies fade away as anciant history!!!!

I think that one of the things which give each generation the strength to endure, is a stong connection to our history. Those who wish to "move on" and deny their past, are the ones who succumb to assimilation and are truly lost forever. But those of us who are willing to view the past as a living heritage and learn the lessons our fathers taught - often through their very blood - we are the ones who will continue holding on until Mashiach comes and wipes out our enemies.

You are far from a failure Momo, unless you want to view Klal Yisrael's history as one of failure. Like thousands of Yidden before you, you have been battered and bashed by the enemy, yet like Klal Yisrael, you always return; defying the enemy by your very perseverance and existance. Obviously Hashem didnt want us to win each war - because if that had been His desire, we would have won! What He wants, happens. Period.

Do you honestly believe that your Tatty hasnt seen your constant effort???

We are all in this world to serve as soldiers in Hashems army. But an army has many different positions. Not everyone can be a general, and not everyone can be a mess hall cook. Some must be generals and take leadership roles, while others must be the foot soldiers who follow those ahead.
You have been picked as a leader Momo. And no; its not an easy job, nor a gratifying one. But this is what Hashem needs from you in His army. To lead by example. To show others how to keep moving forward despite losses, despite an enemy way stronger than we may be. Who said the battle field is always laid out equally, or even fairly? When your borders are threatened by enemy invasion, do we immediately surrender against insurmountable odds (Boy would the State of Israel look different today if thats what we did!) or do we give it our best shot regardless of how bleak our chances seem? And miracles happen! If Hashem wants us to, we win, despite the odds!

GYE foot soldiers are watching you, and gaining tremendous inspiration from this indominable Jew named Momo.
And when and if  Hashem wants, they will see miracles from him too; the nes of no more taavah. The ness of our 'enemy' the YH fading away and becoming ancient history!

Although personally, I already feel that I witness a ness each time I see Momo post. The ness of perseverance.
Momo you really are a hero to me. Honestly

I have to disagree here Momo.
If Dov and Steve and I etc seem further ahead, its not because we are any different or more special than you. Its because Hashem saw fit to help us reach whatever point weve reached. We could never have done anything without His help, and permission. Obviously, for our personal growth, He knows that this is what we need, and for the sake of the klal, he knows that people sometimes need to see those who are climbing and 'obtaining'.

But from you, He needs a different job done. Different, but perhaps a lot more important. Majority of people are not blessed with a constant climb without falls (is anyone?). And that 'majority' needs role models they can relate to. Role models of real people with real weaknesses like theirs, real needs like theirs, and real trying, like theirs. And real perseverance to keep going no matter what. 

If Bardichev (as an example) never fell and only climbed higher and higher, the initial reactions would be "wow, he's amazing, I wish I could be like him." But after they fall a few times, those people will no longer feel any connection to him what-so-ever. His successes have become unattainable.

People need people. REAL people, not angels on high lofty fluffy clouds. And you are as real as Hashem makes them! A real eved Hashem; not because you are perfect, but because you are perfectly human, and still refuse to give in!







And by the way, did you see everyones reaction to Bards recent fall after close to a year clean?
No one was dissapointed that he "let us down"
No one was upset that after a full year he "gave in" and fell.
The opposite!
Everyone was impressed by his courage to tell.
Everyone was inspired by his ability to fall, and pop right back up.
Because
Everyone relates to "human"

and so are you.
iyH some day you too will realize it

I just knew Momo would KOT  :D

Did I hear someone say inspirational?

Momo wrote on 15 Mar 2010 11:02:


I was thinking about this reply the whole afternoon as I ran around town.
When you write that "Bardie really is a great man", what specifically are you refering to?

MOMO!

Shkoyach for picking yourself up and taking another go at this struggle.

You deserve a new nick-name "Techiyas Hameisim MOMO."

Better than cats!

  --Eye.

Momo, Momo, you don't even REALIZE how special you are!

There is no diff between me and you or anyone. We are all Hashem's children, we are all struggling to find our tikun, and we are just not there yet.

I have come so close to falling, it's almost as if I did. I have a diff set of circumstances that saved me at the last second, many of which were not my own power. We all have our nisyonos. Your current nesayon is less the falling, but more the getting up. Dear Momo, YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE! YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN!!

Do NOT look down on yourself, do NOT consider that you are "starting over".

MAN, YOU ARE PICKING UP FROM WHERE YOU LEFT OFF!!

Momo, how did the kohein gadol count?  - One and One, one and Two, One and Three....

THERE IS KEDUSHA IN ADDING TO THE PAST, NOT STARTING OVER.

Kavei El Hashem, Chazak V'Ameitz Lebecha, V'Kavei El Hashem!!

I love you Momo....I know, I know, "take a number".....

7Up wrote on 15 Mar 2010 18:15:

My point of asking ws to try point out something to Momo.

"Bardie really is a great man".
What makes him "great"?
NOT that he didnt fall.
Rather, how he fell, and how he got back up.
For Bards its easy to dan l'kav zchus and clearly see the gadlus,
but for yourself all you see is the fall, NOT the greatness which is the constant 'getting back up'

Time to see your own gadlus Momo!

7up is right!


While growing up (hmmm...I guess am still doing that) Muhamed Ali lived down the road from us... I remember him once telling us, he does not mind getting knocked down -as long as he lands on his back - so he can see the way back up.

he told us - its not a matter of how many times you get knocked down - but only how many times you dont get back up