BenHashemBH wrote on 20 Dec 2024 02:35:

Pshew. Good save. I was feeling overwhelmed

Friday and Shabbos Clean!

Thank God I caught myself in the shower before falling.

Sunday 5 days Clean!

Here to report a Clean day and a Win!

I was on the way into the shower and had a urge to masturbate. My hand was about to go for it and I held myself back because I simply didn't want to walk out of the shower post wasting seed.

#TYH

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 23 Dec 2024 23:12:

If I feel I might be tempted in the shower, I read a chapter of the book. That usually helps except when I’ve ejaculated without masturbating that I have no control over. 

Porn (pics), masturbation and yet again masturbation.
Not even feeling down.
Want to challenge myself to make it through Chanukah clean from masturbation. Let's see if I can do it.

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 25 Dec 2024 01:56:

Let’s go Chanukah clean together I’m 4 days clean from M and 10 days clean P. (Streak counter is broken and stuck on 1 GYE tech team is on it tho). Let’s do this!!!

I dont know what you Litvaks do at the Chanuka Lechtelech, but by us Chasidim, we sit and look at them for a long time and we daven and sing warm songs. 
I sit and look into the lecht for as long as i can and i cry my eyes out to Hashem, the pleas are different as my journey changes with time. 
Sometimes I would ask for help with P
Sometimes with M
Sometimes for both

Now I ask Hashem to please  make me forget every bad thing I ever saw! Oh how I wish I never saw a 'ekeldiga shiksa/shiegetz! what I wouldnt do to erase all of them from my mind! Hashem can make everything happen. 
On Chanukah we can get pure like the Candels. 

Look at them jump, they are only interested in going up, and they never give up. They can leap up for hours and hours even though they get pulled down, they keep jumping. Thats a lesson for us. 


Hashem, please
Make us want you and only you
Make us pure like the oil
Make us holy like the candles
Make us shine brightly 
Make us see the light in this terrible darkness


Lets all have a Hieliga Lechtiga Chanuka and all year round. 

chancy wrote on 26 Dec 2024 17:33:

Thanks for the inspiration.
I once saw from the Zohar that this is the reason we shockel during davening and learning. It's the candle inside us jumping when it gets ignited by Ruchniyus. נר ה’ נשמת אדם. (If I'm not mistaken it says there that this is a way to know whether someone is a Yid or a Goy.)

I heard from Reb Efrayim Wachsman that normally the shechina doesn't come down lemata meyasara but on Chanukah it does. He said that's like a king who visits the jail and even the 'low lives' can get a chance to talk to him. So too on Chanukah we are visited by Hashem and we can ask Him for help in the lowest parts of our lives. That's what I did during davening and will do also when I'm sitting by the menorah later. 

Yesterday and Today Clean!

Way to go chaver! Amazing start! Keep taking it one day at a time and have GYE friends on speed dial and ready to call (feel free to add me to your list if you're interested).
Is there anything I can do to help you? 
Hatzlachah Rabbah! We're rooting for you through chanukah and beyond!

Life is pretty boring. Spending TONS of screentime to fill that boredom just makes it a lot darker and depressing.

When nothing that's supposed to fill your day talks to you, then it's hard to be happy with your day to day life.

#CutTheStigma #GetMeOuttaHell #EinLanuAlMiLisha'enElaAlAvinu

Friday, Shabbos and Sunday Clean!

I wanted to feed my lust today but couldn't really poke my filter because I have an admin.

#TYH4MYADMIN

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 30 Dec 2024 01:19:

Now, that sounds like a good idea...and I hope you are really proud of yourself for doing that! And for the clean days! Proud!