As a single bochur in Yerushalayim I hope to go for 90 days M-Free. Bh regarding porn I am by day 47 but because M is my main struggle right now I want to have this thread just for M.
Today if I bez''h pass it will be day one I still have to withstand an hour or 2 including a shower. I ask hashem to give me help through this challenge and through this i can grow in totah avoda and yiras shamayim.
I wish to STOP SURVING & START LIVING.
PS special shout out to HHM who it turns out months ago when I reached out to GYE and they hooked me up with a pro and maiven to talk to it was him, and he's been supporting me since. Keep it up HHM, keep helping klal yisroel.

Day 1 on M clean. TYH.

Today day 2 was challenging. It started with the fact that i had to Be  out on the nasty streets and it was a battle. It especially came hard toward the end of the night when i was bombed tired walking on the streets with so much for the eye to enjoy, at that point i lost some and won some. All this leading to crazy desire to M but with gods help i made it to the end pure. A special thanks to yiftach and redfaced who were there to support me.

Thank yourself too. You did it! Another day under your belt (no pun intended). 

stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 26 Jul 2024 00:14:

Job well done.
Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it

So impressive to see a real fighter join our ranks at a young age! You’re mighty fortunate to take the damned beast on now!

Hashem has sent you the best of the best to be your support system!

Keep leaning on HHM, Yiftach, and Redfaced and you’ll surely go very far!

With much brotherly love,
Muttel

As of 7pm day 3 was clean. Thanks god No urges. Probably based off the fact that i wasn't out much. I think the attitude is to make every day into a day as if you weren't out by watching our eyes. Therefore avoiding triggers. Have a wonderful shabbos.

Thank god Day 4 was a pass. Found shabbos pretty easy cause i was not out much. Coming to a new week which i probably will be out a lot i hope to do well.

Day 5 on M was thank God clean. I was by the kosel during the day which is usually a good place to treat the eyes out and for the first time in a while I found myself being able to control myself. I can't say I didnt have any second looks but overall i am proud of myself. Thank you to my new family for being with me.
A little food for thought: if before I joined the forum I was masturbating every other day and now i made 5 days clean, what is the reasoning behind it? Am I simply doing it so I can post on the forum and feel good? Is there any way that there is lishma in this? Is the answer simply mtoch shelo lishma ba llishma? Waiting to hear from you guys.
Sincerely,
LOST!!!

Day 6 was clean from M thank god, a couple of urges based on stress which caused some second looking, thank you all for being here with me at my side,

just fell to masturbation thank god no porn. i thank hashem so much for creating filters because without that i would have acted out on my urge and probably still be watching...
hope to start over and get even further this time.
i usually find myself getting another taava on the day i fall because i ruined my day anyway. Any tips for that? I understand that its wrong to do it again but as i wrote in an old post:
"A little food for thought: if before I joined the forum I was masturbating every other day and now i made 5 days clean, what is the reasoning behind it? Am I simply doing it so I can post on the forum and feel good? Is there any way that there is lishma in this? Is the answer simply mtoch shelo lishma ba llishma? Waiting to hear from you guys."

It's not about לשמה or about שלא לשמה. It's about rewiring your brain, and learning how to live life properly. As long as you're focus is on, I'm going to pass this test so I can post this, you're still in survival mode. Once you learn to view the world without lust then you can start living. Yes, truth be told, the forum is a useful tool, and can sometimes help you out, knowing that you'll post a victory here. The forums are a great motivator, but they can't become the goal. The focus has got to be on the long game, to rid yourself of lust completely. Easier said then done, but many have done just that. Reach out to them, and hear what they have to say! For now celebrate the beautiful and shining 5 clean days. Go ahead and by yourself something good to eat and consider it a סעודת מצוה for the cleanliness you managed to achieve. Then pick yourself up, tell yourself, this time it's gonna be better, and then KEEP ON PLOWING!

It definitely helps me control myself. I know that if I act out Chas veShalom, I will have to update here, lose my streak etc. Kinas sofrim...

Hi, 

It has nothing to do with Lishmo or not. When it comes to abstaining from sinning, you need to do whatever works now.
Having GYE is a great tool for accountability. Nothing wrong with that. 
Plus the fact we all know that addiction grows in the darkness and wilts before exposure. So talking it out with us takes away some of the pull. 

Regarding getting rid of lust- that is a lifetime of work. I dont think anyone can actually say that they are completely rid of desire, if yes, they probably need to get their hormones checked out at once.... 
What is possible and achievable is to not let Lust get you to do things like staring, thinking, touching and other things that you dont want. 
You can learn how to let go of the lust whenever it pops up. 
You can learn how to walk on the street without going crazy. 

But first you need to learn self control and that is what the GYE 90 day tool is for. First get your muscles working. 

Good luck and i dont envy you. Israel is the summer is not safe for me.....

I wish i would be reporting a clean day right now but that isn't the case. I am writing right now post porn masturbation and another masturbation. To say the truth it wasn't that I had a crazy urge and i went and watched. More like I figured out a way to get a filter off a phone and having straight access to porn, I ran for it (that phone is filtered well by now). Being that I grew up with no access to open internet and I still don't have I don't exactly have the chinuch how to control myself when I have access. So when I got that filter removed I told myself true you don't have an urge right now but when is the next time you will have a chance? I think my mindset is "true you know porn is damaging but its so enjoyable and your missing out without it". Therefore when having access I fall.
So what do I want from you guys? I want you to tell me how to tell myself "you must live a porn-free life". Without feeling that I am missing out and I should drop everything of Yiddishkeit and therefore having the time to delve into "that world". Can't wait to hear all you guys chochmah.
I want to stopsurving and startliving.