I think I understand your brilliant post. But one point, those are not real pleasure. It is just some electrons firing through nerves which give a message of pleasure. Not the real thing, when comparing to s'char ve'onesh, for example.

frank.lee wrote on 08 Aug 2024 22:30:

You're 100% right.
But still.. let's be real... its a real pleasure here in our עולם החומרי.. and when fighting it with imaginary ideas of who Hashem is etc it's a lost case...
Who doesn't enjoy watching porn and masturbating? It's an amazing and thrilling real pleasure!! It's exactly those "nerves that give a message of pleasure" that are desired!! The entire world is after it!
Yes, if you think about it sensibly you'll realise that it's bad, fantasies, momentary, low, depressing and is against everything a Yid stands for but as soon as you're in a very uninspired, "human" moment, then you'll just go for the real pleasure...

But I must admit, I a shtikel regretted writing my last post, because poor m111 was trying to get a chizzuk by making Hashem more real and then I was discouraging the idea... I'm sorry m111, please forgive me. Maybe you can share with the oilem your plan of action, like how you will do it. We all need chizzuk. I myself am having a very tough day... my YH is like mount everest today!

upanddown wrote on 09 Aug 2024 00:15:

Emotions are real, horemone rush of porn is real,
it's real feelings,
but not, real emotions,
emotions are
connection,
inner desires,
deepest wishes.

this translates "real" in the urge for porn, really a need for relaxation and/or and/or release and/or pleasure.
Hashem can give me those, when he is real in my consciousness and emotions.

Hello everyone,
I want to share an experience that happened to me for the first time after the 2 plus years that I'm here on the site a going thorough work in kedusha and change.
I was recently triggered by a not tznius sight and had an urge to go onto a device that has a weak filter, since I needed to use a computer for email and din=d not have my personal computer with me. (with the thought that I have accountability etc. and it will hopefully be fine, but in the back f my mind there was the hope that maybe I'll satisfy my urge with some "inadvertent" pop up).
I thought to myself, "what to I really want, is this what I want or deep down it is not my wish". so I made the choice, and went out of my way to pick up my properly filtered computer from home.

It was a choice not by inspiration, fear, guilt, drive to be good, etc. but pure choice, pure bechira.

I feel this is what I've been working to all this time, and it has come.
(Thank you to the 2 friends who suggested in the phone that I post this)

By the way I' this moment having a strong urge, that is not going away, it started a few hours ago, I'm going to try to catch the gym before it closes shortly and perhaps that will help).