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my inner farm

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: my inner farm 3810 Views

Re: my inner farm 14 Nov 2021 05:31 #374244

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	I fell on Friday. I was having a stressful day but managed to fight my desire to let off steam but later in the day after stuff calmed down I fell
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 17 Dec 2021 03:57 #375015

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	hey what's up
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 29 Dec 2021 00:24 #375346

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	hi fell again still trying:neutral_face:
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 09 Jan 2022 21:09 #375734

human being
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Hay farmer k. How are you managing?

I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment.
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions.

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain.

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: my inner farm 10 Jan 2022 04:22 #375743

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	thanks for asking, at an 8 day streak. just had a hard Shabbos, was by a married friends house, b"h was able to be sh"e but just the emotions that go through me when I see a married couple interacting with each other. whatever rambling again:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: but thanx for asking it does help
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 10 Jan 2022 13:09 #375752

5Uu80*cdwB#^
Current streak: 1166 days
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I think it's incredible that you were able to be shomer eiyneim. It really is such a tremendous challenge to be at table with נשים. And what you said about your emotions resonates very much with me. I remember countless times feeling very similarly over the past several years.
My recommendation based on my own experiences and falls in this area is, to whatever extent is possible, really, really avoid going out to Shabbos seudos with mixed attendance, ESPECIALLY on Friday nights, when the women are dressed to their best. It will just save you so much agony. Keep fighting! I am cheering for you!

If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Re: my inner farm 16 Jan 2022 15:29 #375971

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	farmer k. wrote on 24 Dec 2021 03:29: hi… every morning I wake up with an erection no mater how I sleep, if anyone has advice for this it will be really appreciated I believe it’s similar to wet dreams. Both these things can strangely disappear after you hit 90 days. So don’t stress over the small things. Get yourself a Gye Chaver and hit the road!!
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: my inner farm 17 Jan 2022 03:53 #376008

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah fell after a good 14 day streak
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 17 Jan 2022 04:43 #376012

omekhadavar OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 93 Karma: 6	It's not a fall, it's another road stop on the way to recovery. Have you tried the Flight to Freedom program?
	“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” -Charlie Brown

Re: my inner farm 17 Jan 2022 10:12 #376017

human being
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That's got to be frustrating.
Remember that your 14 days of cleanliness will never ever go away. Your amazing!

Re: my inner farm 17 Jan 2022 20:59 #376051

Markz
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farmer k. wrote on 14 Nov 2021 05:31:

I fell on Friday. I was having a stressful day but managed to fight my desire to let off steam but later in the day after stuff calmed down I fell

Sing with me

”I fell on a Monday on a MAC cos I was too stressed,
I fell on Friday on a MAC cos I was too chilled,
With a Click Click here and a Mouse Mouse there,
My old MAC had a Dirty Farm e i è ï ô”

Now, how are we gonna clean up this mess?

My Story---------Dov Quotes

FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Last Edit: 17 Jan 2022 21:02 by Markz.

Re: my inner farm 20 Jan 2022 03:26 #376197

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	4 days not doing great but keeping clean
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 23 Jan 2022 07:46 #376338

farmer k. Current streak: 79 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 52 Karma: 4	7 days clean
	The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 24 Jan 2022 04:45 #376385

farmer k.
Current streak: 79 days
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I wish I could put the pain to words, maybe a poem about it but I guess my pain is just going to be as is. I screwed up, I kept a phone that I could have put on service whenever I wanted, and it was an unlocked phone. It started a pretty simple, a stupid TV show even though I know that the emotions in it will hurt me. Well yes, it caused me to fall. I feel like my life's a mess and I can’t deal with it. However, I look up and realize that there is a reason for everything I'm going through, this whole fight is just to bring glory to the one and only.

Well truth be told my falls now aren't as big as they once were, and are much more spread apart.

So please help me God that it should have a happy conclusion, an ending that I will be proud of, an ending that I can say, “this was where I got to, with my blood, sweat, and tears”.

I want a life of true love not of romance. The life of work, a life of sweat, a life of glorifying your name.

I am taking this fight to The Bitter End because that is what I am here for. It is so simple yet so complicated. I feel so spent but in this tiredness is my strength, cuz’ my strength is by sticking to my guns even when I’m down, and to keep fighting.

So long,

Farmer k.

The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings

Re: my inner farm 24 Jan 2022 10:14 #376399

human being
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You expressed your pain well. Your longing to just stop falling already. Keep it up, your gettting farther and farther along in the struggle. Your doing great!

Whats your plan to avoid the same trigger again?