9 days clean

BH clean.

Anyone that has not taken the opportunity to call up a veteran gye...

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

It will be like playing 4d chess while your opponent is playing checkers.
A complete game changer!

(I don't take responsibility for the above, but I truly do believe it)

Yes I know it's hard...(read my thread) but it will help you more than you think.

10 days clean!

Thanks "to the one above" I am happily 10 days clean.

I once heard the following: "you can look once but not twice"

Meaning- if you see something you shouldnt, you can't do anything about it but you do know what you will see if you look again.

This, I think is applicable to everyone to try to look away from things we shouldn't be looking.

What should you do if you did see something? Don't look again!

Wishing you all success!

Yes, looking once is like water on a ducks back, the duck does get wet but it trickles off, however looking twice is already more of in imprint on us.

13 days clean.

I'm back to update


Overall a good day but it got a bit tough.
I guess maybe you can say I got cought up with "wishfull thinking" or fantasy.

But B"H nothing more then that.
But boy, if I didn't have a filter, I probably would've succumbed almost immediately.

I don't know how anybody could get to 90+ days without a sort of filter. It seems to me that it is impossible. (Not to knock those that have. I'm jelouse of them.)

I really try to be and stay positive But sometimes this fight can really pull you down and make anyone weary.
Im not giving up just weary.

I guess it's part of withdrawal?

Just sharing my feelings.

As you all know, this is what is happening from an inside perspective. I dont think anyone would really be able to tell I'm feeling this way just by looking at me. In fact, I would maybe even look like I'm happy at the moment.

This is a reminder that no matter what, doing a kind deed or gesture ( even just a smile or compliment) to anybody, can make his/her day. A negetive day to a positive day.

Wishing you all the best!

This is a great 'moshel'.
Thank you for sharing.
I will most likely use it in the future.

14 days clean.

Feeling better today.
Though I would say that I can be more careful with some of the things I watched today on my phone. Not bad things and not necessarily triggers but I can definitely identify a pattern that I had in the past.

Wishing you all (and myself) success!

15 days clean

We are getting there.

We all know the GYE motto- ODAAT!

As Chanukah aproaches, I look forward to my little miracle.

All I need is a small miracle everyday, just that extra push to get me through to the next day.

"Just a small bit of light can push away much darkness"

Wishing you all much success for the upcoming day.

Hey Zedj 
Keep going.
We're rooting for you.

Zedj wrote on 07 Dec 2020 05:11:

What you wrote is so beautiful.

There is something tremendous here that I want to point out to the GYE community. Zedj has demonstrated that through working on these issues there is a spillover effect to other areas of life. We don't only stop looking at pornography and masturbating, but we also grow in other ways. In this case, we can become people who are more kind and more sensitive to others and their feelings. By getting in touch with our inner feelings and dynamics, we come to appreciate them and in turn realize that others are going through the same.

Very beautiful, Zedj. Keeping it up and keep posting!

16 days clean

Thank you for the encouragement guys, it means alot and it is greatly appreciated.


I just started my Chanukah break I hope to be kept busy with Chanukah parties and of course........

I will keep you all updated I"YH

17 days clean.

This is my second time counting to 17 (on gye).

When Hashem created the world, on Tuesday Hashem said טוב twice.
A double loshen of good

So this time around, I hope hashem will hand me a "olive branch" and give me double strength to overcome my personal nisoyon.



Wishing you all a very happy Chanukah!

18 days clean

Wishing everyone a good shabbos and a very HAPPY CHANUKAH!

All the best

19 days clean


Shabbos was great, went to a lot of relatives kept myself busy.
before maariv, you guessed it, somehow or another a thought of fantasy pops up in my head.

I really don't know why or know how that happene(d)s

The only thing to do is just distract myself.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

Gut voch and Afreilechen Chanukah!

20 days clean

20 days down. It feels as though it is a year.

Really bored now.
Anyone have any eitzas for boredom?
Maybe a knock out of the park shiur or something interesting?

It could be it's just a dormant desire, but movies/tv shows have not interested me in a while. I guess that is a good thing but I still need to find things to fill up what I am missing.

Wishing you all a happy 4rth night of Chanukah!

Distractions list (add/take away as desired):

• Torah: Listen or watch a shiur, learn with a chavrusa, learn something interesting yourself.

• Chores: Shop, clean, cook, wash dishes, iron, garden, laundry

• Exercise: Brisk walk, run, swim, pilates, weights, bike, push ups, outdoor activities, sports

• Games: Get games on your computer/phone that will fully engage your mind (and your hands…). Figure out a Rubik's Cube, play a strategy game, tetris, chess, sudoku, crossword puzzle.

• Drive or walk somewhere: Write down three places you can go that might help the craving or urge subside.

• Art: Draw, paint, write, photography, play music

• Read or listen: Favorite music, Read an engross book (non fiction, fiction), GYE forum, handbook, articles or videos.

• Social activities: Call a supportive friend. talk to a family member (parents, siblings, spouse, children), hang out with a friend, write an email or text/whatsapp message to a friend. Call a GYE partner or mentor. Write names or initials of two people that you can talk to whenever you begin to have a craving or urge.

• Team sports: table tennis, hockey, soccer, softball, kick ball-just be with others

• Trades and crafts: Paint, build, work on car, tinker in your garage

• Vent feelings: Talk, start a journal, draw, throw eggs (just kidding.)

• Volunteer: start or join a chessed project. (Doing something for someone else is a great way to get out of our own problems and be constructive. Not only does helping others distract us from our distressing thoughts, but it also makes us feel like we are contributing and are playing a valuable role in another's life)

• Food: Eat or drink something, make popcorn, make beer (yg), cook, bake, eat a healthy snack (nuts, cheese, fruit). drink a glass of water, make a good coffee.

• Organize: email inbox, wallet, room, desk, pictures, plan on redecorating your home or room

• Refresh yourself: Drive somewhere, take a shower, hold an ice cube until the urge passes, splash cold water on your face to “reset”, Deep breathing, belly breathing, gratitude breathing. Tighten the muscles in your body in a particular sequence, over and over (tighten your feet, then your calves, then your thighs, then your pelvis, then your stomach, then your chest, then your shoulders, then your neck, then your face, over and over again). Plan your next vacation-if you haven't done that yet since your last vacation Pre corona

• Reduce sexual tension: Take a cold shower.

• Hobbies: Work on your favorite hobby (e.g. look into your genealogy on the Internet).

• Redirect your attention:

  
  

  • What is the happiest place you can imagine? Think about being there. Think of every sensory detail—see, hear, smell, taste, and touch these. Picture yourself by a stream, in the mountains, or staring at the passing clouds in the sky. Let yourself feel, smell and hear your surroundings in your virtual reality. If distressing thoughts intrude, try to let them pass and refocus on your peaceful surroundings.

  • Make a list of good memories that you can refer to when you need it, or a list of pleasant activities you can use as distractions. Thoughts can be of events, people, songs, phrases, or even places that are special to you in some way.

  • Focusing on your Hierarchy of Values (i.e. the top five values in your life) is a positive form of distraction.
    Or you can imagine wierd and impossible things ie a pink elephant walking a tightrope. 

• Echoing. Echoing can be compared to counting sheep while trying to fall asleep. The goal is to have a repetitive thought or task taking the cognitive space that distressing thoughts and feelings occupy.

  
  

  • Replay a song, recite a quote or poem over and over, count ceiling tiles, steps, heart beats or anything else in your environment. When you do this, your body will start to calm.

  • Play the "alphabet game" by looking at license plates, book titles or a printed page and find an A, then a B, then a C, etc. Even simple activities like saying the alphabet or alef beis backwards can fill up your attention so that you have nothing for the urge.

  • Look around you. Is there something in the room that you could count? It might be ceiling tiles, floor tiles, designs on wallpaper or paneling, window blinds, leaves of a plant, or something that you can observe through a window outside the room. Count the objects that you see as rapidly as you can. For instance, count the number of blinds that you see on a window. If you count very rapidly and as accurately as you can, you will find that other thoughts that were on your mind go away, because you are focused on the counting.

  • Subtract numbers (for instance, subtract 7 from 1,000 and get 993, subtract 7 again and get 986, subtract 7 again, and so on)

  • Say the alphabet backwards

  • Read words backwards (say the word correctly but read the sequence backwards: "backwards words read") 
    
    

Thanks menachem