Good job Haba!
If haShem gave you that test, He meant He has faith in you that you could pass it.
And, if He has faith in you, you can have faith in yourself. 

Thanks Momo, for a second when I saw that you had responded to my post, I thought you were going to tell me in multicolored letters

YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!

good work haba.
just try to forget her,
falls usually  happen cuz triggers, this close to be such a rule : "no triggers no falls"
we must escape from those triggers as we escape from fire against our desire. 
for 90 days clean we have no alternative.
we are with you in that struggle, fight against the same enemy...

yeshar coa'h!!

Did you see yesterday's chizuk e-mail #667? Sometimes we have to let go of the "glorious fight"... We are sick, after all.  :-\

OneLife wrote on 28 Dec 2009 09:37:


I agree with you that no triggers no falls, but I can't just stop flying on airplanes.... or driving my car... or walking out of my door!!! This vast and beautiful world is teeming with triggers for the addicts like us!!!

Ain ma la'asot, we need to fight, we can't avoid all the triggers...

And wait a second, I'm not even sure I believe that no triggers no falls...  I think sometimes we just fall cuz of our inner trigger, the YH Yigger Higger!!

What do you think?

Just keep thinking positive.  Just keep fighting and have a good attitude.  Keep your mind busy and the triggers don't pop up as much, that what seems to have helped me.

i agree with you HABA that "No trigger no falls"  is not absolutely.
but a lot of my falls happened because of triggers.
for us (the addicts) every trigger even a little is a sufficient reason for Y"H to tell you : "take your self alone with your computer and surf....since you have reason - you were triggered!!!"...    HABA you know that??

falls that were caused because triggers , cause you more falls even not because triggers.
triggers are just the beginning.

but as you said, its not the only reason for falls.

Of course triggers arent the only sources for falls but they definitly dont help in this area. We have to try and keep away from the triggers. keep ourselves busy s even though theres all those things out there well be just to bust to get triggered. we cant remove them and we cant fight them but we could try and let them glide.

I quit drinking coffee on a regular basis about Rosh Hashanah time, (no it was not my kabala for the year, that was that I should quit my addictions to cocaine, sniffing glue, drinking lemonade and staring at those 3D pictures), but I had a big 20 oz. cup a few hours ago and I'm just a bit bouncy, so bear with me!!!

I feel an enormous sense of hakaras hatov to the Ribbono Shel Olam for giving me the most incredible wife a person could ever wish for bli ayin hara.... she cares so much, loves me so much, works so hard for our family... B"H B"H B"H

For her alone I should be doing everything that I do here. She deserves every single bit of me and much much more, and to have even a bit of me focused anywhere else is so not fair....

I hope and I aspire that one day with the help of all of you here,that I will grow into being worthy of my wife and her love for me....

and  while I'm on my caffeine induced hyperism..... I really do appreciate everything that you all do for me so much, I'm now 12 days clean, almost 13!! I'm about to get K9 on my computers... and I feel so much better about myself for it. I couldn't have done it without you guys... so huge huge hakaras hatov to all of you.... May the Lord bless you all that you all overcome your demons, that you have lots of shekels, that those of you who are not married find a wonderful zivug, and those who are should have gutteh kinder and lotsa nachas, and to quote a great philosopher, may we all "Keep on Trukkin!"

hi Haba,
your problem an excellent wife married to a "bad" husband , is our problem too.
and since so, we are here to fix it Baruch Hashem, this is the first step and thats very good.

and hey, don't install the K9, guardyoureyes needs some money...  :D :D :D :D :D

I'm in a bad way... I already signed up for K9 and don't have it yet, cuz I haven't got my license yet. It's like the alcoholic who knows he's gonna be locked up in detox and he just wants to grab every last bit of booze... My YH is really trying to get me to do something I will regret before the filter is installed

NOOOOOO!!!!!

Amen, about finding a zivug hogun.

habaletaher wrote on 29 Dec 2009 08:01:
haba letahor mesayin oso. Tell Hashem your Ba letaher and hell help you. try it youll see. And great for you for getting the k9. We have to realize we cant fight this all by our lonesome we need help. So step one; filter.

habaletaher wrote on 29 Dec 2009 04:27:


Don't get so down on yourself. First, by working on the addiction you have made yourself "worthy" of your wife's love. Really now, love is defined by two people accepting each other regardless, as long as they don't physically harm the other.

Two, I bet she's not perfect either. Nobody is.

So, chin up. Tell yourself you are worthy of her love because you are a great person working on a bad habit. 

Hey, Haba, what's happening here?  > > >
i've just seen your SOS call, i hope you are ok so far .... ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
you are not gonna fall!! for us!
if you haven't got the licence number yet, tell me by private or email, i'll give you mine, cuz i haven't used it so far.
i have another filter.
you can try to sign up to K9 again, maybe the first time was an error.
haba?? :'(  say something....