habaletaher wrote on 22 Jan 2010 10:27:


Oy, IM25, I'm afraid your absence has addled your mind a bit... wait! You mind was addled before you left!

Have a shot of Woodie on me my dear friend.

Pull another stunt like that leaving us again, we may just put you in a barrel of W and pull a moridin vi'ein ma'alin on you!!!
[/quote]




gevaldiiiigggggggggggggggggggggggg

the whole point of woodie is the

mallin  and not the moridin!!

I may be a little unconventional here, but what were you doing at a Basketball game that has cheer-leaders and thousands of pretty women milling about in the stands? Not a very healthy place for an addict, to say the least... I'll be dan lekaf zechus and assume you are a Rebbe who had to take the class... But even so, if I was you, I'd have played sick or something... If you were allergic to peanuts, would you eat in a restaurant where most of the food uses peanuts in the ingridients?

Anyway, I commend your strength, but next time, let's try not to be "strong" and just be "safe" 

No need to go into the lions den and be happy we came out clean. Lets just stay as far away as we can, no??

I appreciate the being dan likaf zechus thing and all that, but the truth is that I was not a rebbe who had to go with his class, I just went with a bunch of my friends... I'm not holding by giving up on going to any sporting event just because there are gonna be ppl not dressed tzniyusdike, if that is the case, I can't take my family on a chol hamoed trip anywhere, I can't take my kids to a local park from March till September, nor can I go far out of my backyard during the whole summer.... (obviously cheerleaders are worse than regular not tznius ppl, but the point made was that I shouldn't go to the game also b/c there are gonna be thousands of pretty women milling about) if I'm allergic to peanuts, I'm not going to go into a restaurant where most of the food uses peanuts, but neither am I going to stay in my peanut free basement for the rest of my life....

Could be I'm totally wrong... I'm not sure...

Weather we have an addiction or not we still must keep away from places that will have untzniusly dressed people. Of course we cant lock ourselves in a box and keep our head in a sefer the rest of our lives. We have to make a Parnassah. What we are trying to do here is to be able to go into this world where we NEED to go and not have these thoughts that were having. That doesnt mean after we recover we can go to a beach. Kal Vechomer we cant because we know the potential loss involved in it.

-Yiddle

habaletaher wrote on 25 Jan 2010 05:44:

OK, gever.
i see that some of us made a switch from beeing proud of you to beat you a little.
so, i want to beat you a little too...   ;D ;D

chazal spoke about that  issue, that if one need to go from point A to point B and he has two ways to go through. the first way is long but clean and the second way is short but there is pritzus, and he went  through the second way and guarded his eyes very well, so he didn't see nothing untziusly.

chazal said that in spite of he didn't see something bad, we call him RASHA (evil).

now you know what chazal think of your action.

by the way,
which game was it..??  

KUTGWG!!

What are cheerleaders??

We all have things that we're working on, and we're all growing. And sometimes we need a wake-up to remind ourselves that we really are alcoholics, and walking into a bar isn't a very bright idea. I just had a moment like that (but far, far worse) with my therapist.

Nothing like a slip or a fall, but the equivalent of walking into a bar, being sure of my own power and control over the situation. Which of course, is always fueled by my needs and insecurities. Big mistake.

Be thankful that you escaped unscathed, and be proud of that - but learn from the experience, too.

As we recover from the addiction more, we start to notice how sensitive we are to triggers... Unfortunately, we have to make some changes to our life-style a bit... Yes, Chol Hamo'ed you may find yourself looking for non-mixed crowds, or at least only religious areas to take your kids... And staying home more often, etc. We are allergic and need to try and avoid potential places of trouble as much as possible (not more  ).

Haba, you have made HUGE changes in your life already. From someone who was not religious (if I understood from your posts), you have become a major teacher of Torah and a major Talmid Chacham. For someone who has gone so high and so far, is it too much to ask of yourself to perhaps consider giving up "sport games" for the sake of your sanity? 

guardureyes wrote on 26 Jan 2010 00:43:
.......or else you wanna become the famous baseball rabbi!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

HABA....???

how you doing man??

shavua tov!!

Uh oh, I hope I wasn't too tough on him...

Don't leave, K? We love you!

Keep on trucking NMW.

Even if you had a fall. That's what we're here for.

Yeah man, where are you?
It feels like I haven't seen you around in a while...
Hope everything's ok.

Regarding the b-ball game, I think we have another case of needing a posek on histaklus issues. While online friends may not know someone as well as a real-life Rav, the real-life Rav probably doesn't know about the lust addiction. So that creates a problem. See here : www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=1997 for a page about "Where can I ask a Halachic Question about intimate issues anonymously?"

I happen to know that sporting events are a whole sugya. Of course they go back to Roman times and maybe before. When an issue like this came up for me, my rebbe showed be the Mishna Brura on it. Ayin Sham!

Where is this Mishnah Berurah? I would definitely like to see it inside!