Yup.
I'm addicted to cookies. The tinfoil plan isn't enough, but it sure does help.

@Singularity I've seen you and a bunch of others post about the goal of letting go of lust/the long term goal is so much more than a streak.
What are tools to work towards this?
Im worried I'm over-focused on the streak and not working on the real issue at hand.

I feel you completely...... I used to be like that (and still am sometimes). However, i feel that the longer you keep fighting, the more your brain will get the message that you are just not going down without a fight and will shift to better things quicker. 
Thats what happend to me. 
Unfortunately, i found myself alone in office today unexpectedly and i was not prepared to fight. So i fell after 132 days. i have never gotten this far. But im getting back up and going to serve hashem right now from scratch.

Wow I need that mindset. It amazes me to see how you can keep the big picture in mind, even though a fall is the easiest excuse and reason to be myopic and small minded.  When I fall I feel like all my hard work falls with me. It takes me a few days to gather the strength to recommit, and even when I do I still feel kind of hopeless.
Any tips you've got to help me with this?
 Before you mentioned that if I keep at at then I'll eventually send myself the message and fighting the lust itself will become my goal, but I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to improve in that now, before (if?) I fall.
Thanks!

I would recommand you to read those articles about the 12 steps : guardyoureyes.com/articles/12-step

Of course you're not obliged to commit to the real 12 step program. But the philosophy of the 12 steps as I understand it seems to be the only way to win the war over lust on the long term.

In a few words, the idea is to internalize that you can't win this fight, only Hachem can do it for you. But in order to achieve that we have to deeply internalize this and sincerely give up everything to Hachem. The only way to win, is to realize you can't win.

This philosophy is not only for those who are "addicted" I think, it's for anyone who truely wants to get rid of lust.

This is also a powerful tactic for day-to-day fight : when a lust thought comes in, just say "Hachem, it's too hard not to think about it, I can't do it alone, please remove this thought from me". If you do it sincerely, the thought disapear.

Also read this : guardyoureyes.com/the-secret-of-happiness

We have to convert our egoistic desire to receive in something divine.

Also, have you read the GYE Handbook ? It covers everything we need to know for this fight.

@Guard1 thank you for pointing me to these sources!
Will iyH take the time to read enough to understand. I'll try to post any questions I have about it here... I'm probably not the first to say that whole powerlessness thing doesn't sit well, but then again I haven't taken the the time really understand the idea.
Looks like I have a lot to read
#OneArticleAtATime

JJ123

You have to really want to be and stay clean.

Otherwise you are what is called "Dry Drunk"...keeping clean but inside you really want to fall.

It is not easy...you have to really examine your feelings and motivations.
Asses the benefits of being clean versus the deficits of falling.

And take each day, "One day at a time."

Slips are natural....you h ave spent a while craving a certain lust....it does not leave all of a sudden.
It needs work.

Day #16 in the books
I've been thinking a bit about what @ColinColin said, and there's a question I've been struggling with:

What is my attitude supposed to be toward my desires? I know that in and of itself it's not a bad thing, and treating it as such could be dangerous... On the other hand, it's not something I can put to good use at the moment (I'm a single guy in my lower 20's, not actively in shidduchim). It's confusing that it's a powerful thing that can be used for good, but at the moment, I "have to" kind of villify it. Maybe there are differences to draw between regular desires and addictive behavior? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
Thanks!

Jj123 wrote on 03 May 2020 14:58:

Giving in to our desires only strengthens them. The nature of desire is that it makes us urgently want even more. Because we feel this urge even while we are indulging, it hampers our ability to enjoy the pleasure. We feel unfulfilled and long for something better.

Another reason physical pleasures can’t make us happy is that they only last for a short time and then are gone, leaving us with nothing. To make matters worse, realizing this limits our enjoyment during the short time we experience it. Deep down, we know that something that lasts so short can’t be what we really seek.

We need to realize that even though pleasure might be tempting and enjoyable, we don’t really need what we desire. This lets the air out of the balloon of desire and can even help us escape strong addictions. Of course, it takes much work to acquire and live with this perspective, especially if we face powerful desires. That’s why for now it’s just food for thought. But through contemplation, we will eventually no longer feel that we need what we desire, and with the newfound calmness this brings us, we will be able to slow down our desires to achieve astounding success.

The power that a man has in his drives is not just enjoyment--it is a great part of his spiritual connection with Hashem. The power to procreate, to bring up yet another generation, is the greatest power Hashem has bestowed upon a human being. By this power one connects to G-dliness, he becomes an integral part of the Creator Himself. That is why it is so prohibited-because one is wasting the power that Hashem gave him. He throws away the connection of Hashem in vain, similar to the biblical prohibition of uttering Hashem's Name in vain.


Here is some insight to understand the difference of regular desires vs addiction. Addicts commonly continue their behavior even while reporting that the substance is no longer pleasurable. Addicts often express that they continue to "use" even when they no longer derive any pleasure. 

With Hashem's help you'll be able to gain the proper perspective and WIN this great war!

Jj123 wrote on 03 May 2020 14:58:

Do you believe you have regular desires or addictive behaviour?
What's the difference? From all my experience all I've really gleaned is: you gotta be honest about it, do you see a pattern? Does it become an obsession taking away chunks of your time (both watching the stuff AND figuring out how to beat it)? Is it once a month or five times a week, or day? Does it drive you crazy and can you not really stop once you start? Do you cross boundaries?

In program we learn that sex is optional. I have yet to accept this myself, it's too scary. But when living on those lines I have never felt serenity like that before.
In my yiddishkeit I have been led to believe it's a need, like eating. I believe that's one of many components contributing to my demanding attitude and sickness.

Some food(!!) for thought

I thought about what y'all said a bit...

I guess what I want to know is what my perspective toward my desires is supposed to be not specifically the desire for pornagraphy and masturbation per se, which is something to work in eliminating completely.

But am I wrong to think that the goal is not to have zero sexual desire?
I mean, using it selfishly is obviously terribly harmful both on the micro and macro level (there is a reason I invest time here after all ) .
As far as I know, abstinence isn't a lifelong value. There is a time and place for these desires, which can contain tremendous amounts of kedusha in the right context.
The goal is to eliminate miplaced desires channeled incorrectly.

So what I want to know is how I should react to arousal that is not due to purposely viewing or thinking about innapropriate material per se.

Am I supposed to work on being completely dead of any desire whatsoever until marriage? Somehow it doesn't sound right.

Any answers, thought, or general comments on the issue would be greatly appreciated.
I am quite confused...
Thanks!

Jj123 wrote on 05 May 2020 20:02:

Hey brother, I think you are asking some good questions. 

You asked "how I should react to arousal that is not due to purposely viewing or thinking about innapropriate material per se?" 

I'm not sure I understand the question. What do you think the possible reactions are (who said you need to react)?

Are you asking whether you should think these thoughts are a result of your bad behavior or habits, or alternatively human nature? 

Here is a shiur from Rabbi Akiva Tatz that I found really enlightening. He doesn't deal with your question specifically but he discusses the broader topic of male and female in this area. 
Let me know if it was helpful. He has a whole bunch of shiurim on this topic if you are interested.

https://www.kolhalashon.com/new/Media/PlayShiur.aspx?FileName=236543&English=True

Hey Jj, haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?