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Become Holy's Journey
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Become Holy's Journey 16898 Views

Re: Become Holy's Journey 17 Feb 2010 16:11 #53838

  • BecomeHoly
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Bardichev can I get a translation?

36 days :-)

Thanks for the support guys :-)
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 17 Feb 2010 17:01 #53843

  • Ineedhelp!!
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36 is awesome!!!! Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Besimcha... wait thats MAMB??? Dont know what MABB is... Bardy help us on this one!

-Yiddle
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 18 Feb 2010 12:30 #54034

  • imtrying25
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I think it stands for..........Mishenichnas Adar  Becomeholy's Besimcha!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 18 Feb 2010 14:35 #54054

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Lol IT. Ok I feel like crap. My stomach is HURTING and I'm very tired (even though I took 2 naps today.) My throat is also nto so good.

Neway... public reminder - I do not need to act out when I feel like crap. I can just take a nap. bye.
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 18 Feb 2010 14:38 #54055

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BecomeHoly wrote on 18 Feb 2010 14:35:

Lol IT. Ok I feel like crap. My stomach is HURTING and I'm very tired (even though I took 2 naps today.) My throat is also nto so good.

Neway... public reminder - I do not need to act out when I feel like crap. I can just take a nap. bye.


I beleive those beautifull word choices rhyme BH. Youre a poet and you didnt even know it!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Refuah Sheleimah!

-Yiddle
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 19 Feb 2010 00:17 #54273

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Another reminder. I feel like crap. So what. Does that mean I have to act out? I mean yes... I deserve relief. I deserve pleasure. Whats the big deal. I mean it will be like getting a massage.... WRONG! this will not be anything of the sort. You don't DESERVE relief. Or pleasure. You say thank you when you get them. But they are OPTIONAL. and they WILL NOT make you feel any better. ITs a lie. A deceipt. Do not give in. You know what will give you pleasure? A full night of sleep followed by a powerful davening. Then doing some chesed. Then SHABBOS!! kOYDESH! nUFF SAID!
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 19 Feb 2010 03:19 #54291

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Aweosme battle right there! Jews-1 YH-0! Yo went from thinking you deserve to act out to realize its just a deadly option and a dangerous ploy from yetzer hara.

Have a great shabbos!

-Yiddle
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 19 Feb 2010 11:32 #54336

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BH what am i supposed to say?? That i really love the attitude?? Ok so ill say it...........

I REALLY LOVE THE ATTITUDE!!!

Oh and have an awesome shabbos!!
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 21 Feb 2010 07:18 #54489

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Thanks IT. Shavua Tov.
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 21 Feb 2010 07:21 #54491

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DAY 40!

I have reached a new milestone. Many say that 40 days has a lot of significance when making changes. Some say its a biological thing - when trying to improve your health, 40 days is the requirement for retraining your body to a healthier path.

Of course, 40 days is also how long Moshe was on Har Sinai.

40 days is also only 5 days away from 1/2 way to 90. I'm literally about to get over to the other side of the mountain. The uphill battle is almost over, then I just use the momentum to go downhill all the way to 90. Thank you God for all your help!
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 21 Feb 2010 19:23 #54587

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Mazel tov. Mazel tov. And yes 40 days is a HUGE milestone!! Wishing you continued success and hatzlacha.
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 22 Feb 2010 08:39 #54708

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BH,

Great! 40 days is a big milestone. Keep on climbing! And, if after 40 days, or after 45, things still seem like a difficult climb, keep climbing. I hope you don't go downhill again! (But I get your mashal, 'tis all good.)
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 23 Feb 2010 12:24 #54951

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I have fallen :-(

I was thinking - why is it that we have the illusion that if we're NOT addicts, then a slip every here and there is ok.

Lets look at halacha - halacha clearly forbids every slip. No looking at women in a lustful manner. Ever. We're either all addicts, or the torah is telling us this specifically is not a pick or choose situation. Its so addictive that everyone is by default treated like an addict.

ALL of us are ALLERGIC to lust. Addicts and non-addicts alike. We're just addicted on different levels.

Anyway, Day 1.  I can feel how much this fall has affected me. My mind is unsettled and filled with images. I cannot concentrate as well on davening. I have pushed out all the kedusha of 40 days and I now need to start cleaning the mess the let it back in. What a waste. But it was meant to be obviously. I felt this one coming. The Y"H was really fighting hard. I think the key was: Instead of channeling this energy to God, I was just kinda letting it eat away at me. I had it under control, I wasn't "bursting at the seams" like last time, but I wasn't properly redirecting it. I want to use my Y"H ltova. I just realized, that I'm not sure I know how.

So here goes:

HOW DO I USED MY Y'H TO SERVE GOD. I'm not married, so it makes it a little more difficult. Idealy, if I understood correctly, a married person can tell the Y"H - STOP! I will not give in to lust. I will get a biological release, and EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT together with my wife, and then I WONT NEED THE LUST!  So there ya go: I think I just figured it out - I need emotional fulfillment with God. I guess that means I need to focus more during davening. OK.... here we go.

Day 1.

Please do give your 2 cents.
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 23 Feb 2010 19:46 #55028

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BH,

First of all, that was a powerful post, and inspiring.

In terms of all of us being allergic to lust and addiction levels,
maybe in this area there is such a natural taiveh, that chazal deemed it appropriate to make certain harchakos and therefore we may not stare at, walk behind, speak too much with, sit in between, or hear women sing. There are probably some more as well. Either way, some people may have this taiveh at different levels, but we can't really figure that out, so accepting chazal's rulings is the way to go. Especially when we see that we are being nichshal. Then, maybe we can take even more steps, but first let's be careful about all the prescribed medicine and see where that gets us.

Ok, enough of that banter.

I love the idea that you mention to connect emotionally with HKB"H. HUGE! ABSOLUTELY HUGE! AWESOME!!! I've been having a hard time with that as well, but I think of it a lot and when I don't, it's usually because I'm down about not feeling the connection.

Well, bhatzlacha raba!

And, you've been climbing uphill and are for sure still on track. Your 40 days have not left you with nothing. Don't let the y"h convince you of such narishkeit!
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Re: Become Holy's Journey 23 Feb 2010 22:59 #55061

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Another idea:

Next time I'm feeling antsy, I will RE-READ my whole thread. Reading my own words will probably be very helpful.
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