Hello,

I'm still here. I've been here the whole time. I'm still battling this thing. I've been disappointed with my progress so I stopped posting. After hitting the 100 day mark it was still really hard. I failed at around day 110 I think. Since then I've been resetting my 90 day counter again and again and again. I've cleared my log a number of times too because I didn't like seeing all the failed attempts. I haven't reached 90 days again since. A lot has happened, there's been some difficult times. Every relationship I've had didn't last. I've got a good feeling about this year though, I think 2021 is the year I'm finally going to nail it and overcome the yetzer hara. I can tell something good is going to happen this year. This is a fresh start again. I will report back when I hit 30 days clean. 

By the way, I'm studying some really good books on bitachon at the moment: 'Shaar Habitachon of Chovos Halevavos' and 'Beis Halevi on Bitachon (with commentary)'. Many of my questions have been answered reading them.