Manessmann wrote on 02 Aug 2017 15:48:
37 days clean
37 days ago I found this website and I haven't allowed my eyes to view unholy things since. I haven't ejaculated and I haven't gazed at women. It has been really tough and I am trying my best because I honestly really want to change for the better. I have been trying really hard to control my thoughts and concentrate on healthy things. I feel like things are going well, but I often have bad days where I feel sad and depressed, at times stressed and easily irritated (along with all the other withdrawal symptoms associated with an addiction). These negative symptoms only seem to be getting stronger, but I'm not giving in. I still make sure to read Torah and other holy writings every day, and I still regularly read through the Guardyoureyes ebooks to keep me enthusiastic and motivated to stay clean from lust. Slowly I'm feeling more connected to Hashem and to my Jewish faith, and I feel that something good will come out from all this in the end.
Great stuff, keep it up.
I also find life to be more difficult when clean, I miss my drug. But that's exactly what it is, a drug, I'm looking forward to finally living life bezrat Hashem one moment at a time.