WOW...awesome post, IH!!!
I wrote something similar to Laasos, but your post is WAY more clear and amazing.

Ihavenostrength wrote on 28 Feb 2017 20:00:

Super post! For someone who calls himself "ihavenostrength", boy do you have strength. Wow!

Brother that was an awesome post.
Shmiras einayim is the core of the foundation in my estimation.
You really encapsulated the psychology of giving conflicting messages to ourselves.
I think this post is a eureka moment for you, and the most amazing thing about real Shmiras einayim is that this is just the beginning.
Little moments of self knowledge and self worth. Little wins of your will to do the right thing and the mere fact that you are able to follow that will (ratzon) which remained so elusive for so many years makes that little win so much more powerful.
But here is the real kicker,
Because its constantly decisions being made, and the hard work is making the right decision each time, it actually starts to have a positive effect on other decisions you make in life.
Most importantly, decision making is everything in the zero sum game of step zero.

Ihavenostrength wrote on 28 Feb 2017 20:00:

I heard a shiur on torahanytime about shmiraseynayim. He likened it to an eagle who swoops down to feed in one of those big green Israeli rubbish crates. He hops lower and lower, ah, a raven sees him, he shoots back up, yuch, what's an eagle doing here? But when nobody's around, he hops down again.

Day 19: The self-interested case for shmiras einayim: Seeing certain things can make one feel so uncomfortable. Hanging around a bakery is going to make someone on a diet feel uncomfortable even if they know there is no way they are going to eat that cheesecake sitting on the shelf.

I've discovered the secret of life and I'd like to share it with you. Ok, maybe not the secret, but I think it's a neat little life-hack. 

I get annoyed sometimes. Sometimes it's over legitimate concerns other times it's over something completely illogical. For example, I have a roommate who just annoys me by his being around. He didn't do anything to me and he's not a bad guy. When he's around I just get this primitive- like feeling of aggression. (Maybe it comes from wanting my own space, perhaps he makes me feel self-conscious.)

For a while, I was upset at myself for having these feelings. After all, what type of guy doesn't like someone for no reason at all? Then, I changed my approach.

I decided that his presence was not going to annoy me anymore. So when I would start to get these feelings, I'd just tell myself, I'm not going to be bothered/annoyed by this. Crazily, this actually works. 

I think the reason it does is that we have ideas in our minds of what annoys us, what we can't stand, perhaps a certain noise, like people talking, or a smell or whatever. But most of these things probably aren't that bad, so can just decide ok, this ain't gonna bother me. 

BTW does anyone have a link/source for the study about how it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the brain? 

Ihavenostrength wrote on 01 Mar 2017 19:01:

Good thinkin'.

Sometimes we may ask ourselves: why does he annoy us? What have we contributed to this situation? Is there somethin' we can do to rectify itI? If it so happens that it's all because of him, then we ask: what is wrong with us that we allow him to get under our skin? Then, we go from there.

Does that make sense?

B'hatzlachah

book recommendation:
you can be HAPPY no matter what
by Richard Carlson

Day 20: Made a sort of "demo" daily schedule. I've made lots of schedules before but this one was different. Usually I'd break out the latest schedule with a "time to stop slacking off" attitude, "you better do this or else" type of mindset. This schedule was different. It was suggested but completely optional. 

I basically told myself "I think it would be a pretty good idea to follow this, but it's up to you". It actually helped me do what I needed to with a lot less stress involved. 

This technique, to sort of be compassionate with yourself, rather than like a "taskmaster," is from a book I'm currently reading called the "Willpower Instinct". It's all about how to increase your willpower and resist temptation. Lots of great ideas in there, obviously easier to read than to apply. 

Tangentially, I'm trying to make reading my go to entertainment. Ain't that easy though. 

I know this forum isn't a confessional booth... But I think it's good for me to be honest. I had a "slip" just now. I was on tiyuvta.com looking for an answer to a legitimate question and on the home page there was a feed of different questions. One question caught my eye it was about "what was an embarrassing thing that happened to you". I read the answer through even when I got a a sense it was an inapropriate story.

We are all human and being honest helps us deal with life and all its challenges properly. Wise to post.    When we climb a mountain, there are ditches and downhills along the way. We just have to focus on the goal of heading up. If we slip, we get up, shake off the dust, and forward march.  Continued hatzlocha.

Ihavenostrength wrote on 02 Mar 2017 20:38:

I think this would really help me. Thank you.

@singularity You're very welcome. Great book BTW (just finished it). It's by Kelly Mcgonigal, "The Willpower Instinct". 

Day 21: Starting reading "You Can Be Happy No Matter What" by Richard Carlson. Shout out to Shteeble for the recommendation. Finished the first chapter and I think my life has just changed forever. No joke. 

Good shabbos!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has posted. I read and reread them. 

Day 22: Shabbos was ok B"H. Spent a lot of time hanging out with friends. Trying to keep in mind something I read (in "how to be happy no matter what") about how "thoughts are an ability not reality." Trying not to be afraid. There's a voice in my head telling me I'm going to fall, that I can't do it. Trying to remember it's just thoughts. Doesn't mean it's true.

There's "nothing to fear but fear itself." I think that's my favorite quote of all time.

just remember that little voice in your head is a big fat liar!

The biggest