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Embarrassing things we all do and think
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TOPIC: Embarrassing things we all do and think 17121 Views

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 14 Aug 2024 13:13 #419137

  • tzitzis dude
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neshomo kedosha wrote on 14 Aug 2024 08:34:
Everyone together with the chazzan... Simcho le'artze'eeeeeeeecho veso'ooooosoin le'ire'eeeecho....
And then when everyone has finished taking over, the Chazzan who has been patiently waiting for the oilom to shut up, says it again. Always hilarious!

And what about every single day of Pesach by maftir- when you get to ״כאלה״?
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
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“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 16 Sep 2024 20:07 #421646

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This didn't happen to me but I heard about it. 

Chazzan finishes chatzi kaddish on Friday night just before shmone esrey. Someone claps on the bimah (indicating to say yaaleh veyavo) only problem is, it's not Rosh chodesh. 
So now all hell breaks loose as people try to 'nuh uh uhuh' that there is no yaaleh veyavo. 
Chaos!!!

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 16 Sep 2024 20:55 #421647

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odyossefchai wrote on 16 Sep 2024 20:07:
This didn't happen to me but I heard about it. 

Chazzan finishes chatzi kaddish on Friday night just before shmone esrey. Someone claps on the bimah (indicating to say yaaleh veyavo) only problem is, it's not Rosh chodesh. 
So now all hell breaks loose as people try to 'nuh uh uhuh' that there is no yaaleh veyavo. 
Chaos!!!

Hmm didn't happen to you , Eh???????  

EDIT - Eh??????  
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

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Last Edit: 16 Sep 2024 21:17 by redfaced. Reason: Feels like it needed another Eh????

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 16 Sep 2024 22:20 #421650

odyossefchai wrote on 16 Sep 2024 20:07:
This didn't happen to me but I heard about it. 

Chazzan finishes chatzi kaddish on Friday night just before shmone esrey. Someone claps on the bimah (indicating to say yaaleh veyavo) only problem is, it's not Rosh chodesh. 
So now all hell breaks loose as people try to 'nuh uh uhuh' that there is no yaaleh veyavo. 
Chaos!!!

Technical question, Why did it have to happen friday night?

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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 17 Sep 2024 02:51 #421656

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True but maaseh shehayah kach haya

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 23 Nov 2024 23:59 #425665

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That awkward, twisting step taken when a pebble finds its way into a shoe…
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 04 Feb 2025 04:01 #430747

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Mindlessly fressing yourself to the gizzards after a long hard day until you can no longer breathe with super snacks, cake and chips, and then guiltily washing it all down with a half a bag of healthy, leafy lettuce.

Wasn’t sure if this should be a Grouch.  

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 04 Feb 2025 21:36 #430787

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bonus protein points if your lettuce still has the bugs in it
Just getting over a case of mild insanity here...
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 14 Feb 2025 00:14 #431338

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I was tired the other day by maariv, so  in the beginning of Maariv I naturally launched into Baruch atah Hashem elokenu melech haolam...... Hamapil chevla shama   ...oops asher b'dvaro
Last Edit: 14 Feb 2025 00:14 by boardg.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 14 Feb 2025 02:57 #431347

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boardg wrote on 14 Feb 2025 00:14:
I was tired the other day by maariv, so  in the beginning of Maariv I naturally launched into Baruch atah Hashem elokenu melech haolam...... Hamapil chevla shama   ...oops asher b'dvaro

ahhhh so that was you at the amud last night!

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 03 Mar 2025 18:30 #432318

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Was in a busy parking lot the other day, when I got back to my car, being that I drive a very popular car, I opened the wrong car and even sat down, It took me a moment to realize I was in the wrong vehicle, when I did, I bolted out of that car like a possessed man and packed out of that parking lot. 
Yeah, I'm getting a florescent orange Volkswagen Type 2.

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 09 Apr 2025 19:58 #434464

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Either you eat way more Matza than you need to at the seder, but on Shabbos erev Pesach your bread rolls are the bare minimum shiur

or

You complain about how much matza you need to eat at the seder, but Shabbos erev Pesach you need a triple k'zayiz of bread
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

(Also wanted to bump this thread in case anyone needs to relieve a bit of pre-Pesach stress).
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

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Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 10 Apr 2025 02:00 #434470

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Bending my legs the whole shmoinei esrei after realizing that I bowed at every baruch ata hashem, from the first few berachos
Talking with someone, is not about getting advice, it's about frienship, accountability & distraction;

Please feel free to contact me at 347-494-0430 {google voice} at any time or; 
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Check out My story here:  My strategy is to fight it with excitment ביחד ננצח

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 10 Apr 2025 02:03 #434471

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I once davened at the amud, when we finished kedusha the old grumpy man sitting on the head table plopped down into his chair with a very loud gasp, I burst out laughing uncontrollably... Lauging is catchy, and within a few seconds half the shul was rolling their heads off, while trying to yell "nu nu nu"...
Talking with someone, is not about getting advice, it's about frienship, accountability & distraction;

Please feel free to contact me at 347-494-0430 {google voice} at any time or; 
PM me at mevakesh247@gmail.com

Check out My story here:  My strategy is to fight it with excitment ביחד ננצח

Re: Embarrassing things we all do and think 10 Apr 2025 02:04 #434472

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Davened at the amud once, and after birchas kohanim instead of saying sim shalom, I loudly blurted out the yehi ratzon...
Talking with someone, is not about getting advice, it's about frienship, accountability & distraction;

Please feel free to contact me at 347-494-0430 {google voice} at any time or; 
PM me at mevakesh247@gmail.com

Check out My story here:  My strategy is to fight it with excitment ביחד ננצח
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