markz wrote on Unknown:

 You mean they want your headlight.

I think the person meeting me would be shocked, being that I walk around with the entire chasidisher shmoineh b'gudim and I'm on GYE.

Mesayin wrote on Unknown:

Mesayin, I kind of assumed you had the shmoiner begudim and would be very happy to know you in real life.

Ano Nymous wrote on Unknown:

I'd probably be mortified.

However, I am curious: why are you assuming those two conditions? For people that would be mortified if these two conditions applied, I'd imagine that they'd be even more mortified if one or both of these conditions did not apply!

There was a time when I was embarrassed about my P & M plus SSA. Now I realize that these are tests everyday to test my strength. I choose to pass these tests. 

If I met someone like 

1. Markz
2. Cordnoy
3. The. Guard.

 I would no longer be embarrassed. 

Shmuly

I think it depends on who it would be but I would be horrified!!
I wouldnt know what to do & I just hope it doesn't happen  

I confess, my name is not really thanks613 

I obviously value my anonymity on the forum, especially since it's public..

But if a friend of mine recognized me and called me out on it, I would be both embarrassed and relieved to be revealed to them - carrying the secret is tough sometimes really tough, always.  My attitude wasn't always this way, but now I feel that if someone else has a similar struggle, then I am not really embarrassed to be straight with them about my own challenges.  Well, most of my challenges anyways...

Being recognized by other people, like an old family friend for example, would be really awkward, but probably much more awkward for them than for me.  Basically, if you're OK with it, then I'm OK with it, and that's a motto I'll try to live by.

I used to think about this alot, that is why i sometimes dont write clearly. But about 3 month ago i met someone via GYE from my community, and it feels very good to be able to discuss with someone 'normal' like me these subjects, unfortunately since then i have not been so active on the forum because i was speaking to people directly. Trying to get more active again.

Dov wrote on 12 May 2010 00:42:

Which one?

You have Dassy, Esti, Orah, Susan...

How do I know all their names?








Their father authored the unabridged version of the Megilla. 


Oh and back to the topic - how would I react?
Perfectly cool - ask the gye friends I’ve met in person :-)

It has already happened to me and I actually found it helpful.

Option 2: you never know if it will come back to bite you. Theres a reason why they recommend you stay anonymous on this site.

N8 wrote on 30 Jan 2020 04:54:

Where did you see that?

Here's a question - did Hashem make us wanna be more secretive about this challenge and that's why the world doesn't talk about it as much as let's say bitul torah? OR is it our own fault that we keep it so hidden...?

Because I would LOVE if this was something everyone openly dealt with, but I don't necessarily know if it would be the healthy way.

That being said my vote is #2

When you sign uo for the partner program they recommenced that you create an anonymous gmail account and keep yourself anonymous in general. My username is pretty easy to figure out but it still anonymous. 

The advice to be anonymous is sound advice when being in touch via chat, forum etc. One never knows who they are conversing with. Unfortunately there is always a small minority of people who misuse public forums, and one must protect themselves from that. However, it is logical that the more open and up front we are with this issue, and the more accountable we are to real people, the better our chances b'ezras Hashem to break free. What I have done to protect myself is to create a google voice number to allow for safe voice connection with people. Once I ascertain to the best of my ability that I am speaking with a sensible, responsible, and sincere person, I give out my direct phone number to enable better communication. (Yes, there are one or two individuals that our relationship is still at the google voice level due to not being fully comfortable going further). The next step is meeting. This happens after having spoken by phone many times, when both of us are comfortable doing that. Boruch Hashem I have met many wonderful people after cautiously going through those steps. Bli ayin hora I have no regrets for doing so. There is a mutual understanding that it is in both of our interests to be confidential. 

It is long overdue to be open about this plague. Statistics show that majority of teenagers and married yidden are struggling. The past hanhaga of not speaking about it is comparable to burying our heads deep in the sand, causing serious kedusha problems, anxiety/depression challenges - some to dangerous even suicidal levels, and shalom bayis disasters to develop. Recently however,  Boruch Hashem, and probably thanks in great part to GYE, people are more open about this. Rebbeim in yeshivas are speaking more about it, and bochurim are seizing the opportunity to cry out for help. Unfortunately there is still a sizeable majority suffering needlessly in silence...…. Similarly, many husbands are more open with their wives about the struggles they have at work, on the street, and online. Due to high school/seminary mechanchos and kallah teachers mentioning the issue, husband's are not embarrassed to ask their wives to keep the filter passcode. There may still be a long way to go, but there is a path beginning.

I wish I could speak publicly about my own history, struggles, and BH success. So many broken depressed guys could be inspired to be helped. Until the time when doing so won't ruin my kids shidduchim, I, and other fellows here will iyh just have to continue reaching out to one guy at a time and hold their hands. 

Hashem Help Me wrote on 31 Jan 2020 12:34:

HHM - Beautifully said.  You truly are one of the heroes on GYE.

MarkZ - this is a great thread, thanks for bumping up.

My vote is #2 as well