What feels better? To be on level 1 on a running machine. Your breathing rate has hardly increased. Your not sweating at all.
Or on level 53 you are sweating away, your muscles are aching.
During the actual run it might be easier to be the guy on level 1 breezing through, not making any efforts. He is hardly growing at all though. There are no tests or challenges.
By the end of the run though, the person feeling the best is the one who went on level 53.
We might find in life we are finding it hard to be frum. We see that our friends are having what's a so called "fun" life. We want to live life like them. There are challenges that seem too hard to overcome and we think why me? When we are sent a challenge you have to realise that the ultimate goal of any challenge is so that you could grow as a person. Why did Hashem want שרה to pray for a child. Does Hashem really need her prayers? Of course not! You think he didn't know she needed a child? Hashem saw that שרה had great potential. Therefore Hashem activated this by sending a test. The prayers meant that שרה could grow as a person and therefore come closer to Hashem. The teacher is always quiet during the test.. there will be times when you don't see all the answers.
Next time you are sent a test don't waste the chance! This is a great opportunity of growth. Hashem has found potential!

Hashem gave his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. Keep fighting!

From my conversations with Lavi (thru email), it seems that he reads these every once in a while.
Any advice on movies or internet in general (from someone who is not addicted to porn, and that is why I cannot offer suggestions)?

Thanks

BUMP.

I relate strongly to this issue and would love to be movie-free. Just to clarify I have done stretches of almost a year with no movies a few times. In those times there were extended stretches when I was OK without movies and didn't have to fight too hard because I was enjoying life, but every once in a while when I'm a little stressed or feeling low, the desire returns. Sometimes I am successful in getting through then moment and once in a while I'm not, kicking off a binge until the next time I pull myself together.

dear eslaasos,
it looks like i'm in the same boat as you.(hoping not to sink).
it seems that this struggle isn't just movies or not, rather a question of reshaping one's lifestyle totally.
it is so easy just to slide into the movie-watching mode, and so hard to get this destructive habit out of us.

the.guard wrote:

Mark,

That's pretty intense. For some reason when I'm in the rut it doesn't help me much which is sad.

I remembered the one item I think is the only thing that can get me out of this rut - using filters to make movies inaccessible.

can you specify which filter?

VCF. This is not a marketing plug for GYE/Venishmartem

It doesn't matter that much to me which filter, so the more powerful the better. I have full access to unfiltered internet through work, so the filter is only a prop to make it slightly harder. By itself it wouldn't work, but when I'm stuck in a rut, I feel the midrash speaking to me of the YH being as thin as a hair to reshaim, and if everything else is in place, I just need the additional boost of making movies somewhat inaccessible.

For various reasons I have had completely unfiltered internet at home for the last 2 months, and just relied on my "willpower" to stay clean. BH everything else stayed in place so movies is the worst of it so far but I know it's only a matter of time until TSHTF, so the filters are going back up tonight bli neder.

If you want to get into details about filters, PM me.

eslaasos wrote:


Mark,

I have to say that even though the Tefillah didn't stop me from watching, it did interfere because when a good looking female showed up on the screen, even fully dressed in non-alluring clothing, I felt uncomfortable and started looking away...until I didn't.

Thank you very much.

The "cleanest" secular newspaper in the US is the Wall Street Journal. Yet, the WSJ also has a "fashion supplement' that is part of the WSJ that arrives on Shabbos morning.I have been throwing it out just based on the cover page, while keeping the rest of the paper, which has an editorial, op ed and cultural coverage that are second to none.Keeping the "fashion supplement" would be a definite trigger

I get the WSJ and while it may be cleaner than other papers, it is by no standard completely clean. I personally don't find it lustful for me so i read it but i wouldn't suggest it for others.

struggle struggle struggle.
won a week lost a week won a day lost a day.
today is movie day. found a quiet secure place and am watching for 7 hours straight.
hoping to hit rock bottom, or better said, i want to feel disgusted by this absolute waste of LIFE and RESOURCE.

Actually, if you get the Yated, there is an excellent collection of articles every week in the back of the paper from superb columnists ( Charles Krauthammer, Carolyn Glick, etc) and news stories from a variety of sources ( NYT and WSJ).

Compared to the NYT and the NYP, the WSJ is a far cleaner paper. It just has an awful sports page!

bump