Every day is Day 1.
I keep falling for two traps. One is thinking about yesterday and tomorrow. The other is telling myself that I really don’t want to quit. Oh, whatever am I to do with me? I was tired of feeling guilty, dirty, and unworthy. I was sick of seeing the sadness and deep hurt on my wife’s face after each and every one of my betrayals. She was unhappy and I knew I was the cause of her unhappiness. I wondered when she would become fed up with my behavior and leave me for good.
I read the messages that Sci1977 posted a few days ago and they were life changing. First, he shared an email that his wife had written to him. I know just how blessed he is because my wife has written the same thing to me –almost word for word. Like him, I cried when I read this post. You see, for me it is a bit more challenging in that I spend a lot of time away from home as I have one of those jobs that requires me to travel for extended periods. Reading Sci1977’s posts refreshed two key memories in me: 1. my wife loves me unconditionally. She stands by my side because she believes in me –even when I don’t believe in myself; and 2. It’s not about what I did or didn’t do yesterday. It’s not about what might or might not happen tomorrow. It’s all about Day 1. On Day 1 I felt remorse for what I had done. I was determined not to continue down the same destructive path. On Day 1 I resolved to live a clean life, honor Hashem, my marriage, and my wife. On Day 1 I davened for Hashem to be my strength because I have none of my own.
Since temptation and p**n are all around us, constantly I have decided to surround myself with “Day 1”. I have signs in my room, books, computer, office, etc. that state it very simply. All they say is “Day 1.” My next step will be affirmations. Something like “Here and now is all I have.”
Some years ago, my wife had dedicated a song to me: “Hear and Now.” It goes like this: Here and now I promise to love faithfully. You're all I need. Here and now I vow to be one with thee (You and me). Your love is all I need. As I recently spoke to her about my trials, she reminded me of the song and made emphasis on the “Here and Now” portion. She reminded me that that is all Hashem (and her) asks of me: Here and Now.
Please indulge me as I digress. A few days ago I was listening to one of Lori Palatnik’s “Almost Live” segments at Aish.com. She said she had been having a conversation with her husband –a Rabbi, and asked him what obligations are prescribed in the Torah that a wife has for her husband. He could not think of one. Then she asked him what obligations a husband had to his wife. Many, he answered, and they are all over the place.
My wife tells me she is not familiar with Torah wifely mandates, but she assures me that everything she does for me, she does it not out of obligation or even obedience. She does it out of love.
Thus, I will try to remind myself every day that today is Day 1.

Welcoem to the club JIT,

My name is Eli.

For starters keep this in mind
reallygettingthere wrote:


Secondly, you need to want to stop in order to stop. If you don't really want to stop then all the tricks and eitzos wont work to keep the porn/lust/masturbation out of your life. You will find a way around your filter etc.

Only once you have resolved to stop will you be able to tackle this problem.

I know first hand. I tried almost everything before resolving to do whatever it takes to stop... and nothing worked

So fasten you seat belt, secure your tray, make sure your carry ons are under the seat in front of you because your about to go on the ride of your life...

If you want to

I really like your "Day 1" sign idea. I might adopt it myself. Good thinking! Way to reinforce awareness of this important idea.

I love that idea. As my android has been my main tool, I think I will write "day 1" on the lock screen, reminding me every time I pick it up. Thanks!