I don't think what you share with other girls (and when you share it) is an open and shut case, especially in light of the trouble it caused last time.  Make sure to act in accordance with with Daas Torah.

SF, since your ex IS on GYE, I do not think it appropriate to be sharing anything about your new relationship here on the forum. All future girls deserve basic privacy and respect and would have every right to be very upset if they knew you were sharing personal things (like their dating life) with others who know them. 
Perhaps all future posts should be confined to direct addiction issues only.  Basic mentchlikite in my opinion.

I felt the same way. My wife is on the spouses forum, and when she mentioned that she knows his ex from that side, I had the same thought. I didn't want to post it because I wasn't sure how to say it without hurting his feelings. But as usual, you did it admirably well. So i will just agree with you.
Hatzlocha!!!

Post from your ex; brought over from the 'other side':

Hey Mom,
Thanks for delivering the message.
I would send one back, but she can probably read it here herself so:
You're welcome!
May Hashem help you both to find happiness and contentment in a Torahdige way, Bekarov!!!

This is the first time I've been on the forum in a while, partially cuz my life never ceases to get more complicated and crazy, but also cuz I was hurt by wat some ppl said here(I think u know hu r). Ill start by saying that wen and wat I post here is to help me wit difficulties I'm goin thru. My story started wit lust issues and grew into something that is very removed from those issues, and essentially has nothing to do wit this site. But I was too stuck in my story to find a way out of posting about it, esp cuz posting here helped me. I agree that at this point posting about my future dating stuff doesn't have a place here, altho I'd like to believe that if it had to do wit lust stuff then no1 here wud have a problem wit that. My intention was never to share things about other ppls lives, but honestly if no1 knows hu they r y does it make a difference?? Y is it different then a guy posting about his struggles wit his wife, which she very well may not know that he's posting about? In the particular situation I was posting about it prob wasn't fair cuz I told my ex hu it was so she wudnt b hurt if she found out, but for future stuff if I need the help is there really something wrong wit posting about it if no1 knows hu it is? And also I'm not sure if there's anything to do bout this, but I feel like its not very fair that every woman can read exactly wats goin on here and I have to b careful not to say certain things cuz of that! If my ex didn't read everything on my forum wud any1 have an issue wit me talkin bout these things if I needed the help for it? Believe me I'm very sensitive to her feelings and the last thing I wanna do is hurt her feelings, or any1 elses for that matter, and I'm sorry if the things I said here hurt her. But mayb they shudnt have access to wat we say the same way we can't c wat they say?! I understand the reason for us not being able to read their side cuz its a possible trigger and we can't afford that, but y do they need to c our side? I feel like I can't say everything I wanna say and fully express wat I'm feeling cuz of it. Even in termss of lust stuff, I know if I heard that she was struggling wit lust or even worse c"v fell I wud feel terrible, so mayb I shudnt even talk about my struggles cuz shell prob b reading wat I write here and will b pained!?!?

To be honest with you, I agree with you to some extent. If your ex was not on the site, and/or was not able to see what was going on by the men's section, it would not be nearly as bad for you to be posting your story over here. It has bothered me in the past as well that the women can see what is going on over here on this side. There are many spouses who are on that side, and may be hurt or negatively influenced by things they read on this side.

That being said, I still believe that any updates not directly related to GYE type issues, will possibly be viewed by many as off topic and not belonging. In a strange way, they may even be triggering to those who may have more vivid - or warped - imaginations. So please continue to come here and post for support. We are all here to help - yes, even Rage - but it would be more beneficial for all of us, you included, if you kept it on topic as much as possible.

I am Davening for you, and I wish both you and her nothing but success and happiness.
If I have offended you in any way, I sincerely ask for Mechila.

Hatzlocha!!!

i am known to the people around me as a good yingerman but im hiding a big secret im addicted to porn and movies i can hold myself back for 2 weeks but then i fall straight to sheal tachtis i need help i have a strong will to get out of this mess  im new to this system please if any one can give me chizuk to fight with all my might please reply thank you klal yisroel

Welcome, Oizer.

As per my PM, please start a new thread on this board ("Introduce Yourself").  You should then receive an official GYE welcome by sometime tomorrow.

Kedusha

OIZER47 wrote on 01 Apr 2011 03:19:
I will send you a PM (personal message) that will appear in the email address you gave GYE when you signed up. I sympathize with you, chaver, but what I need to say is not for the forum..

Stayingfocused wrote on 01 Apr 2011 02:41:


In the coming months, the men and women will have total separation and the women will not have anymore access to read the men's side.

This is based on a new registration system we are building. See Comment #53 on the Lakewood Scoop article here.

guardureyes wrote on 04 Apr 2011 18:21:

.... or Comment #1 in REDESIGN STUDY.

I was hoping that I wudnt rly have to come bak to this forum cuz I understood that its not the place to discuss my girl issues and I wasn't having trouble wit lust related issues, but unfortunately I'm bak :-( and ill explain..The past few weeks have been pretty hard for me wit all the dating issues I was goin thru and lots of ppl who I'm very close wit getting engaged by the dozen. I got pretty depressed and sad from all of it, and it was the perfect oppurtunity for the y"h to start playing around wit me. My sadness coupled wit the boredom that comes wit the infamous bein hazmanim mode was a recipe for disaster. I never made it thru a bein hazmanim in recent yrs without falling many times, but I thought that this time wud b different. I have been working on myself for the past few months and b"h I was able to stay clean from p and m for 187 days except for 1 slip. I knew that no matter how long I wud stay clean its never safe from the y"h and I figured he was waiting for the rite time and I wud just have to prepare myself and b ready for him wen he came. For the past week and a half I had numerous lust attacks and b"h I was able to pull thru witout falling, altho I did slip up once or twice. That was all until yesterday :-( the whole day I was feeling tremendous lust attacks and I came rly close to acting out twice but I managed to stop myself before I rly did anything. Luckily I was also out of my house the entire day, but that didn't change how I was feeling. I was experiencing those feelings of wanting to use p and m to help me forget my pain and suffering for a bit, and they just wudnt go away. Wen I got home I cudnt rly contain myself anymore and I started to google image some things. To make an all too familiar story short, one thing led to the next and before I knew it it was all over. Needless to say I felt so low after I fell and messed up my count, that I ended up falling again a few min later. I came to realize tho that my count isn't the imp thing, rather its about maintaing a manageable life every second, and the fact that I fell is in the past and I have to pick myself up and stay clean for this second! I'm obv rly upset wit myself that I let myself fall for the y"h stupidity and I cudnt stay strong even tho I knew how much I wud regret it, but I'm doin much better now and I know I have to get stronger and move forward once again! I'm glad I'm bak here,altho in hindsight I wish I wudve spoken up wen I was feeling the lust, and iy"h wit hashems help ill continue on this journey and become even better from this fall!! 

Hello Staying Focused,

I haven't read your entire thread, just the beginning and bits here and there.

I am impressed that you are seeking professional guidance, and I am also impressed that you keep returning to the forum.

If there is anything you need to keep private from the women's side, just send a PM to some of your more trusted GYE fellows.

--Eye.

I agree with Eye.
You have the right attitude, and are on the road to complete recovery. Every road has a few potholes here and there (unless your in NY which has an occasional strip of road w/o a pothole!) and falling, while not pleasant, is par for the course. Keep up the fight, and you are more than welcome to PM me anytime if necessary. I usually respond within 24 hours. You can also post in here: www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=763.0
It's in the Break Free Forum, titled "I'm about to fall".

Hatzlocha!!
Stay Strong!!