Thank you 1daat for that post.
Firstly, I can assure you that I am no talmid chacham and don't claim to be one. If I were, I would not be on this site. I would not have been a masturbating pervert for all those horrific years. I am a mere simpleton. So lets not look at it as if you are lecturing me or me lecturing you. Rather, I look at it as two simple(at least I am simple) ovdei Hashem trying to understand the obligation that G-d set down for us. The two of us are actually working together, sorta like a virtual chavrusa. Does that sound fair? I appreciate the open conversation.
Anyway, I was referring to chapter 4, where he divides the areas of bitachon into two major categories - material mattes and spiritual matters. He then subdivides the categories into seven subcategories. He explains the importance of understanding this as the role of bitcahon is different for each one. If you look in the fourth category, he explains the role of bitcahon in mitzvos, both physical ones and mental ones. he explains that misuse of bitachon for these matters, by relying on Hashem for the wrong things, is a mistake and foolish. Hashem will help
complete the action, but we need to get it going on our own, with our choice, decision, planning, and physical exertion. Please read the SA White book(page 26), where the author explains how realization of this yesod was a necessary lesson for recovery.
I invite you to read my
poetic letter to G-d (click here), where I struggle with these ideas in reality.
Regarding, Bill, I love 12 steps, but not much admiration for Bill. He was a failure to his own system. Thank G-d his followers were a lot stronger than he was and created a magnificent system. He died as perverted sex addict,. His connection to G-d had a lot to be desired. He was all talk. So, his statements are not really all that reliable. If you look into your own recovery, you will see the role of knowledge. Now what knowledge is important, is another question. And that depends on the recovery system. On GYE, there is tons of information. Without that, we would get no where. But what perhaps Bill meant was that knowledge alone won't help you. You can gather and gather more info and more info. But if you don't internalize it and implement, then you will get no where. Reading books in a library won't heal you. A bit clearer now?
Thank you so much for sharing with me your wonderful relationship with your Rebbe. I can certainly understand why he enjoy learning with you. You seem to be such a wonderful person and easy going. You seem to have a real desire to learn. Rebeim tell me the best talmidim are the ones that have a passion, not the ones that are smart and educated.
By the way, I really enjoying listening to you. I really want to know you better. Thanks so much for sharing.
Be well my dear friend.
Oh, and by the way, wtih the encouragement from "ur-a-jew", I am going to be changing my name. He suggests "Straight Path". Scroll up for the meaning of this name. I like the name a lot. But I am still open to suggestions. Any suggestions?
And after the name change, I am going for the big 90, and then for life.
See you all later.
-DC, hanging in there till the name change.
