I don't have much to say. I am a 20 yr guy, and have struggled with P & M since i was 14. Longest ever streak i can remember was around 35-40 days. I have done countless hachlatas, all to no avail. Just sucks always feeling defeated, and I truly can't grasp that it's possible for me to win this problem, and that it isn't too late and the damage can still be reversed. I am very scared that when I get married it will chas veshalom have terrible irreversible consequences and Im too far gone. I obviously don't know that and I am speculating, but the fear is real. And the Shame.

welcome aboard! You're in the right place with many people here having similar stories as yours and B"H finding heeling. Look around at all the threads, and keep posting!