Hey haven't been here in a while !! Bh today's been a great day although the last week was horrible (not clean wise ,life wise)but bh thank you hashem for a good day,!!   I'm 9days clean and really making progress overall in managing my emotions which are definitely helping me stay more logical and calm when I get triggered (it also helps that I don't get triggered in the first place).
  the more im digging deeper into myself the more I realize how much work I'm going to have to put in and how long this is going to last , its going to be my lifeswork(lav davka the p and m struggle). But the underlying reasons y I'm going down the p and m route.
  I pray I should always stay strong.
 And it's you guys that keep me.