Hi guys, it's been a while since I posted and I wanted to just post how the last few months were for me
We'll start with the positive, the past 3 weeks Baruch Hashem I haven't fell once!!!! I think that's huge because it did creep into my mind a few times but I quickly distracted myself and within a short time the urge was gone. Once bout 2 days ago I had pretty bad pics at my fingertips I had such a strong urge, (the type that makes it feel like a mitzvah) and bh I got the strength at the last second to just power off. It felt bad (lacking) for a few minutes but the next day I felt so good that I was able to finally choose what
I wanted. I can't remember the last time I had such a win. It sound small but it's hard to describe the feeling because for past who knows how long I couldn't go for than a few days without doing m to either p or explicit vids and now after almost 3 weeks of purity I had a solid opportunity and I even opened it for a second and still won which I find really encouraging!
Bein hazmanim was really tough, i fell a lot to m and bh very little to p, it definitely was an improvement from sukkos but still real bad, my mindset was also way healthier which helped minimize the after affects
The main reason I'm posting now is because I had this thought a while ago (after I started dorming) that recently resurfaced. I'll first tell you the facts A) since I went out of town my p usage had decreased probably by close to 100 times- no exaggerations. Fact
since I went out of town it became way harder to get up for shachris.
So I was thinking that maybe since I more or less am out of the p battle zone could be my next nisayon came in the form of minyan.
Now you might say, well you're with other guys who are sleeping thru so it doesn't feel so important or that now there's only 1 minyan so it's not like 2 years ago let's say where i could daven whatever time I wake up
I Thought of that but really believe it's more than that
So I was wondering if anyone experienced anything similar or knows if it makes sense (, or has any tips)
Thank you very much If you took the time to read this whole thing!
Warning: Spoiler!Thanks in advance for the answers/comments!
Warning: Spoiler!I think I finally learnt how to use these!