Oh R' jolly, thanks for comforting me, I've always thought that only "I" am crazy, but now I see I've succeeded in making others crazy as well, so now I'm no more alone.

This post is what they call the "GYE user's dream" there's so much in this that we all dream about, 1) yes we will struggle forever (possibly), the YH never gives up, but we can stand up to him and against our will, do something, or say something {like telling your wife to make sure the filter is working, before using it yourself} that is beneficial for our STRIVING in inyanei kedusha, 2) the support system you've managed to build for yourself, is also something everyone here dreams about, to ensure they can also STRIVE to kill this beast.

Thank you so much for this post, you've inspired me, you're an inspiration for everyone reading your story, seeing where you're coming from, to where you currently are, and it'll be an inspiration to everyone who's going to read this in the years to come.

With love and hope to keep making you crazy, Akiva

I had a very uplifting experience today. 
I was in the bank recently waiting  for a teller. I was second on line and I glanced to see if it was moving and I noticed one of the tellers has a certain featured that is very triggering to me. I quickly looked away. ( I did not really see her as it was for around a half a second but I did notice the triggering feature) I started getting nervous that she would be the one helping me as the person in front of me was going to take the other teller who was almost finished and I would be left with her. It was hard enough to keep my eyes away standing on line.  If I had to interact with her I did not know if I would be able to overcome the temptation. I started davening to hashem that I should have a different teller so I can stay strong.  Around 30 seconds later a man (no temptation there) came from his computer right over to me and asked me if I needed help! He  helped me and I was able to leave without having to look at or interact with that teller.! I am so thankful to Hashem that he came through for me!

This brought out to me something  we all know but I have to work to get into my psyche. HKB"H is not a neutral third party in this battle against lust. He is the judge but he is not impartial! He is actively on our side, rooting for us and wanting, ready, willing and able to help whenever we ask! He knows the struggle and is totally supporting us! I know that every time I keep this in mind (unfortunately not often enough) it gives me a boost of momentum to keep going. It so encouraging to keep  in mind!
Just thought I would share

That's beautiful, Jolly! Thanks for sharing!
Yes, Hashem loves you, and He cares for us all, and we should never stop talking to Him.
I'd like to point something out. BeH as you keep going up you'll learn to stay calm. You'll learn that seeing something that triggers doesn't mean you should panic or get nervous. And when you'll stay calm, you'll be able to control your mind, and decide what you want to think about. It's the panic that takes away our ability to choose properly. And then, even when Hashem decrees that we should be challenged, you'll be able to be calm and strong and withstand the temptation with strength and calm
How do we stay calm?
Keep reminding yourself that feeling that is very normal. You are normal for wanting that. And then calmly decide that those are things you don't want to do.