yitzchokm wrote on 26 Sep 2024 03:28:

See Nesivos Shalom. During the darkest time is when the kusta dicheyusa sprouts. To quote benny friedman, it is darkest right before sunrise.

I once heard an idea bshem rav avrohom schorr- why is it taking Hashem so long to bring Moshiach? Because He has such nachas from klal yisroel working hard, in a way that won't be present later, and He wants to hold on to it...

If you haven't heard that story from Rabbi Kelerman, LISTEN TO IT NOW. 
If you have heard that story from Rabbi Kelerman, LISTEN TO IT NOW! 

it's on simpletoremember.com 

Im running late to yeshiva so going to make this short or at least less long lol.Thnak you guys for last night it was so bumby and hard but because of you guys and all the chizziuk you gave me i managed to push through and remain true  To my belief's and most importantly to hashem the creator of the universe=my biggest fan
Thank you guys,i really appreciate it and you guys are really like family.
I ask hashem to help me and everyone in need,find a fammily like gye and stick on the great place and everyone on gye should have bracha and hatzlacha .

From a built up bochur !!

Today is day 5!!! thanks u guys so much for everything!!

Hi last night the yetzar harah was fighting me so so so hard.Its hard to describe it but the urge felt so sharp almost like a pain in my stomach.Definintly the strongest urge i had since day 1,But i pushed through and i fought and i won thank hashem.for some reason though i still feel nothing no joy or anything im not sure y i should be happy and exited but im not.I feel like this addiction broke me and made me lack all emotional depth.FEELING NO EMOTIANS IS VERY PAINFULL i should be dancing and praising Hashem, but instead i feel nothing.  I was wondering if any of you guys have ever experienced anything similar, and/or have any advice

Thanks from an emotionless bochur, .

First of all that is incredible! Even if you are not feeling the joy, know all your GYE chevra are feeling joyful for you and this great accomplishment. 
I'm just guessing here, but maybe, if you imagine for a second that you were on a little league baseball team, and you were terrible at baseball. Everytime you batted you struck out. Any time a ball got hit to you, you missed the catch. Now you get up to bat, and you happen to hit the ball. You know that you are not good at baseball. The bat happened to hit the ball. It wasn't because you knew what you were doing, or that you actually improved. How would you feel? You may be happy to be on 1st base, but you still feel like I'm terrible at baseball. You may even feel like a cheat that you're on first. I'm wondering if that is your (mistaken) feeling here. Possibly you are thinking well I still do this. I happened to beat the YH this time. But really I'm a guy who goes with the urges. Really I'm a cheat. If yes, try to change that way of thinking. Every accomplishment, even the smallest step is tremendous. Even if you fall again. We grew up in a dor with a tremendous nisayon, and with zero education to deal with it. Each one of us on this platform, even if it's just a dream to change, is a gibbor. And everytime we beat the YH, is not that it just happened. It was with tremendous kochos, sweat, work, and determination. And that is a real reason to celebrate. And Bezras Hashem we will change and we will go above the evil clutches of the YH. One small win at a time!!! Hatzlocha. Hashem loves us

empoweredowl90 wrote on 27 Sep 2024 13:20:

I think they say some sort of mild depression isn't uncommon as temporary side affect of giving up this powerful drug. If you're not feeling emotion about other things too, then it's kdai to talk to someone about this.

But if you meant that you are feeling emotion about other things, but didn't feel good about overcoming this nisoyon. Then maybe try inculcating the good feeling by external actions. Reward yourself with something small, sing and dance, congratulate yourself out loud.
Full disclosure, I've never actually tried any of those. But they sound like good ideas.

Thanks for the ideas and the haskafos ,will defiantly try them.

Today is day 6 tg.Thanks everyone for the support have an amazing shabas..

HI, everyone good voch!!Today is day 7 officially a week BH,Thanks everyone i couldn't do it without ur support.

Buddy, you are a hero!!

last night i fell i l felt terrible.
How can i ask hashem for a year of life when he granted my request last year and i wasted it.
Instead of letting hashem in i repeatedly kicked him out.
Instead of using my limbs to praise hashem i abused them.
HOW CAN I NOW GO ASK FOR ANOTHER YEAR OF LIFE?
Instead of using my brain to learn the holy torah,i spent hours trying to get passed filters.
Instead of using my mouth to get close to hashem,i used it to distance myself.
Instead of using my eyes to enjoy hashems beautiful world,i used it to repeatedly poison my neshamah.
HOW CAN I NOW GO ASK FOR ANOTHER YEAR OF LIFE?
Instead of using my hands to put on the holy tefillin,i used them to feed my desires.
Instead of thanking hashem for all the Bracha he gave to me i only complained.
Instead of enjoying time with family,i wished for them to leave so could lock myself in the bathroom and feed my desires.
HOW CAN I NOW GO ASK FOR ANOTHER YEAR OF LIFE?

Hashem in his abundant of mercy gave me the month of Ellul for teshuvah but 
Instead of thinking about ways to do teshuvah,i was lazy.
Instead of davining so hard since my life is on the line, I spaced out.
Instead of making/fixing gedarim i was breaking them.
HOW CAN I NOW GO ASK FOR ANOTHER YEAR OF LIFE?

You are a trying bachur and therefore have the right to ask for another good year,

You had ups and downs but you took the major step of opening up,

You used your limbs to walk to and from the BM,

So of course you can cry for another good year of life!

You spent so much of your year toiling over the holy torah,

You used your mouth to pray and study, equiling many many hours,

Your eyes have seen so much pages of torah, not just at bad stuff,

So of course you can cry for another good year of life!

You used your hands to do so many of gods mitzvos not just to waste,

You’ve had plenty modims that yo ulooked up and said #TYH,

Yes you’ve had times you wanted your family to get the hell out of there, but how many times did you appreciate them?

So of course you can cry for another good year of life!

Mercy elul spaced out davening break gedarim,

You pulled through on a complete week clean even though you had real urges during that time,

You made a teshuva plan: You decided to quit P and M,

Regarding davening in elul I’ll quate you “I ask hashem to help me and everyone in need…”,

Yes you had a fall and broke gedarim, but you can only break something you actually built,

So of course you can cry for another good year of life!

wow Thanks this is giving/going to give me a tremendous amount of comfort thanks so much.