wow wow wow! so happy you had a good and clean weak. keep it up and keep going till 120!

Thank you for the share. And mazel tov on the clean week! I think a lot of guys can relate to feeling a whole new level of commitment after opening up on the site. And it's not that your therapist is a bad therapist or anything. It's just that connecting with people who really get it because they've been there too is so powerful.

I love the idea of texting yourself a V. That's an amazing idea, and so practical.

Keep on truckin!

Hi family;
....alot has passed since my last update, B"h I managed to get to 150 days clean, and ongoing BUT in the last 2 days my boundaries have started to fall, I was lusting and looking at things that made me lust... not porn, just things that my boundaries should have stopped me for doing...

but now, I need the strength to get back up ang get back into the fight, but the Y"H is trying to get me to believe that I lost it, and I should continue to fall...

BUT NO! I will stay strong I will continue to fight, and I will win this, and I need to remember that if not for this that happened now the challenge was getting too easy... so hashem added a small slip I should get the courage to keep fighting...

P.S. just writing down my thoughts...

forthefutureme wrote on 23 Dec 2024 15:04:

I understand you perfectly. Recently I’ve developed a crush on another Bachur. It’s very hard because we are friends. In bed and in the shower I get the urge to masterbate and release the sexual tension. But I fight the urge because when I’ve masterbated I never felt good afterwards. So after reading materials on this site I’m training myself to distract my thoughts and not allow myself to get aroused. it’s hard but I’ve made a lot of progress. 
I also have a kesher with another bachur who struggles and we are mechazek each other in a good way.
so bh you had clean days and if you feel you are falling reach out to someone for chizuk. you may have slipped but do not fall. 
I thought I was the only one but received messages from others On Gye with similar struggle. It has helped immensely. 
so keep up with the shmiras eynayim and fighting  the lust. It is an ongoing battle. And even if you fall and give in to the urge, pick yourself up. Start counting again. 
It’s natural to lust, Don’t let it control you. 
Feel free to reach out for more chizuk. 

forthefutureme wrote on 23 Dec 2024 15:04:

Writing down your thoughts can be very beneficial in getting to realize what your thoughts are and can also be therapeutic.
Keep on writing 'em down!

My thoughts. What you are doing is heroic. You're utilizing the most powerful tool at GYE - friends, before you fall. Reaching out to the Oilam to prevent a full fledged fall, is exactly what you should be doing. The YH won't let go of us until the day we die, but his strength is diminished great by reaching out to other. Feel free to reach out in person, it's that much more powerful. Here's to life!