jewizard21 wrote on 13 Nov 2024 01:15:

I'm no rabbi but if it's a mitzvah and you are ready to get married, it would be no different than tefilin and Lulav where 'i have no time's simply isn't an excuse (obviously אונס is not included) 
You should speak to someone to prioritize your day and figure out how to find the time. 

Believe me, having a wife and kids is the absolute best thing a human could have happen to them. Just experience one time where you come home from work and when you walk into the door, the kids come running and say "Daddy" (tatty or abba is acceptable too) makes every second spent on dating and marriage worth it. 

Hashem should bentch you to find the 'perfect for you wife' bekorov mamish! 

You don't understand how busy I am.  I want nothing in the world more right now than to start dating and to get married but I don't believe it's the right thing to do in my current situation. How can I be devoted to my wife if I am too busy.

If you want more of an explanation as to why I don't have time, message me.

When I pass the part in benching that your supposed to say ואת אישתי I get sad that I can't. I want to share my life with someone but I don't even have enough time in the day for my own life right now.

Please don't think that I am saying I don't have time to get married because I am lazy. I wish that were the case because then I would be able to.

Again, for more details private message me.

Thank you so much for your response, I appreciate it. I will definitely talk to a rav that can understand my situation.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

Today was really hard, I'm exhausted, stressed, and demoralized, and I'm not even done with the week. Hopefully next week won't be as difficult 
I'll be on gaurd till I'm in a better mood in case my brain tries to tell me that masturbation will help bc I know it wwon't. It would just make things worse.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

jewizard21 wrote on 15 Nov 2024 02:09:

You're a wizard! 
And a warrior. 


Pick up the phone and call someone. 
It's worth it

    Have you ever taken a deep breath, straightened you posture, and put on a smile? It does wonders!!
    Tell yourself it will be OK and that it will all work out because Hashem is there for you.
    I made sure to talk to ppl (they were not from GYE) and I've also scheduled a meeting with a rav to discuss the previous post about shidduchim and when it's responsible for me to start.

Thank you all for your support of just being here on this forum, and don't forget to smile. Have a great shabbos!

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

    Just a thought I had on last week's parsha that I feel really relates to this nisoyon and the schar (reward) that comes from battling.

Disclaimer this is not a post to discount the greatness of the people in tanach but to try and learn from them.

    We have 2 instances in the 4th alya. 1 with Lotes daughters and another with Sarah being abducted by avimelech if im not mistaken.
   From the story of Lots daughters we know that even with good intentions illicit relations are assur, they thought they were the last in the world! We know that they got the zchus of the line of Malchus to come from after they did full teshuva.
    By the story of Sarah Emanu the medrash/mefarshim tell us that Avimelech did not even touch Sarah because Hashem protected her. We see that even in what seems to be the most inevitable and worst situations that Hashem will protect us.

I'm not sure if I explained this well but what I took out of it is that We may fall but when we get back up and prevail not only will we get tremendous reward but Hashem will be with us every step of the way.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

    Nov 25th last year was the day I got a filter. I don't know how to feel about it bc within the hour of getting a filter on my phone I ran to get my old tablet and watched my last ever porn video.
    I think today is a silent celebration of taking a huge step towards being free and tomorrow is the real celebration of a whole year with no pornography.
    It has changed my life for the better more than I ever could have imagined. I feel more alive than ever. I can't wait to see what the rewards of fighting this battle will be in the future because just these small but extremely significant rewards that I have now are so precious. Being in control of your own mind, having a clear head, being able to talk to a woman without forcing yourself from trying to fantasies. 
   So to a year of progress we celebrate.

    The number 1 thing i would like to say is that tomorrow is another day. We will all be fighting this together 1 day at a time. It has been a year taken 1 day at a time. 
   This is not a year streak, this is a year of progress. A streak does not matter in of itself, the progress is what matters.

הודו לה' כי טוב!!

!!Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time

Mazel Tov on a year! May Hashem help you continue living a life of menuchas hanefesh and yishuv hada'as as you continue to inspire many others.

Mazel Tov brother!!

Seeing your consistency, positivity, and encouragement to others has been heartwarming.

Here's a tefilla (and a toast) to many more years of continued growth!

Muttel

   Yesterday was really difficult and the only thing getting me through it was that I know it will all work out in the end.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

Shalom Brother!

I do not think we ever communicated but I wanted you to know how much I enjoy your posts.
Your positivity and conviction that you will be"h succeed is contagious!

Keep on inspiring us!

Thank you so much!
feel free to rereach out.

Will be on gaurd due to feelings of being overwhelmed, tired, and lonely. Not all to do with each other.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

Doing better just gotta be more productive. Thank you all for just being here.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

    Something weird is happening. I am not getting urges but my brain is subtly having thoughts of why not go poking around and find something juicy.
    It's the last thing I want to do and I keep telling myself to just ignore the thoughts as they are subconscious but it feels strange still.
   I think that my mind is regulating now that I am not in full lust mode or full recovery mode and so I've become lax or just not super crazy on top of myself because things like shmiras einayim are becoming 2nd nature. Not that its easy but just that I'm used to it.
    Can anyone relate? It feels like holes in my gaurd that can be exploited yet I know myself enough that I won't exploit it.
    I would blame it on stress and exhaustion but I think those are just making it come to the surface.

BH I don't think I will act out because of this but it makes me a bit more on edge.
What do yall think I should do, or is this normal?

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!