Alright! Gave ya a Karma point! The beautiful vort and sentiment deserved it! 

what in the world is this karma thing?

richtig wrote on 05 Feb 2024 17:45:

It's a ranking system I think because this forum is built on a template it's meant for other forums where trusting people is an issue and people can upvote and downvote someone they trust and everyone else can see how trust worthy you are... but here I think people use it to raise up people who have given good advice but I am not sure... I know it's tied to your profile and not your post.

I think it's the predecessor of "likeing" on facebook, twitter. Originally Facebook wanted to call their feature Karma too but GYE sued and won and the best thing Facebook could come up with was "like.

Two opposite thoughts banging around recently that need to come out...


1. Although I have gone much longer than my current streak, this time it feels different. Very different. In the past, I would just go through different tekufos, at times almost totally forgetting about the easy ability I held in my hand (literally) to act out. Eventually it would come to an end. Again. And then the cycle would restart. Again. Now I am feeling very different. I am now much freer from my YH than I ever was. Now I am actually able to fight back with the proper tools and strategies needed to crush this evil devil with total and complete dominance! However, my (small) life experience, GYE, and TBOTG (and HHM:) have taught me some lessons, namely that complacency is one of the most dangerous tools of that devil. Understanding that in the deepest of ways now leads me to have a healthy fear of that monster. It leads me to constantly be on the offensive - preparing for every outing, whether it's to the Kollel, store, neighbor to borrow a couple eggs, or any single time I step outside. This is what will lead me to a sustainable, long term, victorious path forward.


(Side note - I don't do this enough. See number 2 for more details. It is something I need to work on. So I will. So I am. Period. GET AWAY you disgusting monster! I HATE you! You better be careful around me because I am going to destroy you in this battle. I will come out on time even if it's not unscathed! So there!!! Take that! Sorry - that also has to come out.)


2. My Shmiras Einayim is teetering on the edge. Although I have not slipped and fallen hard yet, slipped I have and I feel my resolve weakening. It is becoming increasingly harder to not look outside, in the store, at passersby, etc.I think that this is because I am not focusing and living enough my new, true outlook on intimacy. As long as I am not actively working towards integrating it into my psyche, I will struggle not to look - even with TBOTG stategies (which I am enjoying immensely! Highly recommended!!).Chizuk, advice, bops on the head and anything else YOU have to offer in this fight are all accepted and welcomed. (But please bop me nicely:grinning:. Even if it has to be hard. Because I need it.)



A thought on Davening that I've had in the past and has inspired me: 
                                                                                                                                                                                                               אשרי העם שה' אלוקיו

We know that the Shem of Elokim refers to Din and the Tetragrammaton refers to Rachamim. אשרי is the nation who's G-d of Din is the same as the G-d of Rachamim.

BOP
You have been bopped on the head nicely. Have a nice day

keep up the good work and sometimes thinking too much about things does more harm than good especially when you start overthinking things and making things more complicated than they have to be. I’m not saying you’re doing that right now, but be aware that, that is also a trap you can fall into

It is wonderful to realize how far you've come. You have accessed the real me. It is truly amazing and inspiring.

Understanding why is half the solution. Make a plan and take action. You can do it. It is also very common to be more sensitive to what we see in the streets after we have been clean for a while. 

proudyungerman wrote on 16 Feb 2024 00:15:

As Chazal have said "לעולם ירגיז אדם יצר טוב על יצר הרע"!

My friend, maybe you can make time for a daily seder in a sefer about shemiras einayim. I happen to be about to start such a chavrusashaft with one of the special guys here. It really helps. And think about what else might help. Maybe the Vayimaen video? 
You have come so far, and we are looking forward to watching you keep going up and up!

eerie wrote on 16 Feb 2024 22:35:

Sounds like a great idea...one that I haven't done in years...

Do you, or anyone, have any recommendations? Sefarim that had more of an impact? All answers and recommendations welcomed!!

I read one a little while ago called "windows to the soul" that was pretty good

This is the book I used: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/vehaer-eineinu

There are other books in the GYE library including Windows for the Soul and Windows of the Soul.

I would throw in a word of caution, that depending on the person this may be counterproductive. With lashon hora or the like learning sefarim about the inyan can make a person more cognizant and therefore stay away. Not so with shemiras eynayim (neccessarily). These sefarim generally were not written for people struggling as we are and they can make a person depressed. One can also become hyperfocused on shemiras eynayim, when an important part of the war is hesech hadaas as opposed to other areas of halacha. Speak to someone who knows you.

bright wrote on 20 Feb 2024 14:10:

Excellent points! (As your posts all are, Bright). 

What I have personally found success doing is pick a Sefer (I use Esah Enay) and learn it for a few minutes at night )or early morning). It helps keep the focus. But I focused on the positivity, and go gently. Avoiding harshness or obsessiveness… 
Everyone’s got to figure out what works for themselves…. 

KOT!

As I head into an off-Shabbos...things are getting less structured...

However...


The fresh start that comes after a break is Be"H going to be one of the freshest starts in my life. A new start with cleanliness, purity, a true inner simcha, and freedom from past demons.

In order to insure that this happens I will do the following...
1. DAVEN!!
2. Check in with 2 people every day
3. Learn!! At least for a little bit every day...
4. Have a plan for when I am out of my regular zone.


Looking forward to celebrating together Sunday evening!!