siyatta wrote on 10 Jan 2024 18:11:

wow! great to hear your success.
​especially with overcoming your specific hardship (wednesday).

looking forward to hearing more good news!

B'H here I am with 34 days of sobriety and I can't believe I made it this far, yet I the same time I can't believe I was once so shakua that such a goal would have been impossible. My seder hayom is solid with time for mussar, as well as GYE which has been instrumental for me thus far. Even when I'm not posting, just reading some of the posts gives be tremendous chizuk and keeps me focused on my goal, so a big shkoiach to all of you.

While the streak isn't everything, it helps to have that motivation to keep it going and not ruin it. I also think it helps to very disciplined with shmiras eynayiim even on the street. If I'm driving and sense and dvar ervah walking on the street, I've been trying to overcome the natural curiosity to even get the first look. The more times I was able to do that the stronger I've felt overall.

I felt myself slipping in this regard the last few days by letting my curiosity get the better of me. Due to yeshiva week I took my kids around and was out of my regular routine. I can tell that my machshavos started slipping as well. B'h I'm back to work and hopefully back on schedule. I know these milchamos seem minor but I know from experience that it can snowball from here and fast...

One thought, I used to take my kids to the beach (I live in FL, sorry for the chevra up north) for a free activity that keeps them busy for hours. I would also try to find relatively emptier spots so we're not inundated with ervah. L'chaora it's pashut that I don't belong anywhere near the beach, as there are always triggers. Anyone else battle with this? 

One more point, I noticed with speaking to a few of the tzadikim here who gave me chizuk that the people who have gone on this journey have really grown in ahavas Hashem and dveykus etc. I understand that perhaps this is the real point of going through this terrible nisayon....if in the end of it we wind up more refined and more connected with the Aibishter. That's probably the real way to really get past this, not just counting a clean streak. So I wanted to ask the chevra, what's the derech to start growing in these areas to truly overcome this yetzer once and for all?