Thank you everyone for (a) your support for me personally and (b) for getting involved in the discussion about bechira. I think we all agree that mikahn u'lehaba there is always a choice to be made, which might mean joining a group such as this (as mentioned by someone previously), but maybe it can be helpful to relieve past guilt, and to think that maybe I won't have to burn for every single maaseh, maybe there were some oinsin among them.

As far as my progress b'h I made it past 8 days which has been a major struggle for me in the past. I give the credit to the amazing support here on GYE. I've been so involved in reading these forums and understanding the struggle in a whole new light that b'h there wasn't a chance for the yetzer hara to start up with me. My greatest desire right now is to be able to have a major clean streak behind me like many of the Tzadikim in this group. You guys are my heroes. I hope that posting my success here will give me the motivation and accountability to keep it going.

If there's any particular strategies that work after the initial stage I would love if people can share.

I know I need to make a kvius in the book. I read a bit online but I need to hold the sefer in my hands to really get into it. Not sure how to order it without my wife seeing it in the amazon cart (I can't fargin myself to order somewhere else and pay shipping ). 

For battle of the generation, speak to Vehkam. It really doesnt have anything objectional in it. I would reach out to some of the oilam here if I were you.

Congrats for your 8 day streak!

Speaking about burning in purgatory, I personally will burn anyway so I don't care anymore how much the temperature would be or how many times I'll burn, what can help me refrain from lusting is to think of consequences that hit me NOW in real life. I'm told that thinking of rewards received from abstinence is better but it's a higher level that I didn't yet reach.

You can print out the PDF if thats works better for you.

Keep on trucking buddy! You're amazing!

true_self wrote on 31 Dec 2023 18:16:

What the #%$ are you talking about?

Yea im with bright on this . 
As a fellow with some cooking knowledge I can say that  @ 350 you'll bake,but at 400 youll burn.
and the numbers go up higher than that too

bright wrote on 01 Jan 2024 01:23:

You misunderstood my point and I may be guilty for that.... Anyway I don't have time to elaborate now.

redfaced wrote on 01 Jan 2024 01:53:

I believe that the temp may already be set for 3,487, does 3,556 make it any worse?

true_self wrote on 01 Jan 2024 19:33:

How about the length of time spent there? And yes, the magnitude changes but there still is a pain rating scale from 1-1,000. Think about the temperature for melting different stones and of different stars. They make a big difference.

bright wrote on 01 Jan 2024 01:23:

Our struggles come from the desire for immediate gratification and the punishment in Gehinom sometimes feels distant enough that it doesn't help us overcome our struggles. Finding immediate gratification from doing good and winning is a very effective technique for fighting the Y"H, as is mentioned in TBOTG.

You have such keen insight.

Baruch Hashem 13 days! It's a small step but moving in the right direction.
I'm usually afraid of Wednesdays. Hard to go into detail but something about my schedule on Wednesdays tends to make it the hardest day of the week for me.
What do you guys do when you're about to go into a more challenging time/situation/matzav? Any tactics to be one step ahead of the yetzer hara?

yitzchokm wrote on 01 Jan 2024 22:00:

Thanks! This was my point just slightly different. Finding immediate consequences is more effective for me.

siyatta wrote on 03 Jan 2024 17:59:

Calling a friend to share my feelings helped me in the past.

Hey all, quick update, I wanted to share my success, B'H at 20 days today! this is a huge accomplishment for me. I don't know the last time I made it this long, probably around the Yomim Noraim, which is less of a kunss.

As I wrote previously Wednesdays are my hardest day of the week, part of it I think is biological as I tend to do the mitzvah me'erev Shabbos le'erev shabbos, so Wednesday is far away from the last one and the next time is not right around the corner either. I tried adding another day in the week but as we know it takes 2 to tango (k'pshuto). I guess I can't complain as I'm reading threads of the giborim here who don't have the weekly either, Hashem yaazor.
The other aspect is the relative lack of structure for me on Wednesdays, I find that when my structure is disrupted and I have extra unstructured time on my hands, anything can happen.
I said the yehi ratzon after birchas hashachar this morning with extra kavana (the words are powerful, if you're ever awake enough to think about it ואל תשלט בנו יצהר הרע וכו).

I can't break this streak at this point! Hashem help me!

siyatta wrote on 10 Jan 2024 18:11:

imho the lack of structure is the more compelling reason...