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TOPIC: This time for real 8474 Views

Re: This time for real 20 Mar 2024 16:50 #410471

  • chancy
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Because one can never be clean and holy enough. 
Its a very good question actually, its even stronger when you think that right motzie YK we say Slach Lonu! 
There are a lot of answers. 
But im going with this, 
We keep climbing up and up and every day we realize that yesterday we didnt do as well as we couldve done. We understand every day a little better what it means to be a Jew and therefore keep on doing tshuva for everything untill now. 

Re: This time for real 20 Mar 2024 17:47 #410478

  • yitzchokm
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There is an obligation to do Teshuva immediately after a person commits a sin. There are sins for which atonement isn't achieved without Yom Kippur, hence Yom Kippur's significance as a time to do Teshuva. Also, Yom Kippur is a time that we are close to Hashem, and He makes himself available to us, and repentance is more accessible. In addition, the halacha is that we also say Viduy on Yom Kippur for sins that we already did Teshuva and said Viduy for them in previous years on Yom Kippur. I am not sure what the reason is for this halacha.

Re: This time for real 28 Mar 2024 21:27 #410898

  • yitzchokm
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How are you doing, buddy? Did anything change regarding your phone?

Re: This time for real 02 Apr 2024 03:45 #411110

  • ainshumyeiush
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Hey, sorry about the late response, I've been busy with good things. 
no, I have not gotten rid of the phone.
But I have had some interesting thoughts, I'll put it out there. I've been working on my bitachon, connecting with hashem and realizing that he's the one in control. I'm only really starting to work on this consciously in the past little bit, but I do feel like I'm on a good path. And while I have seen some porn and acted out, it's on a much smaller scale than before. Just thinking about how much hashem is doing for me and how completely in his control I am makes the battle easier. Not easy, but easier. 
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 

Re: This time for real 09 May 2024 00:28 #412875

  • yitzchokm
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How are you doing buddy? Are you doing something else in place of posting?

Re: This time for real 09 May 2024 01:34 #412880

  • ainshumyeiush
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yitzchokm wrote on 09 May 2024 00:28:
How are you doing buddy? Are you doing something else in place of posting?

Thanks for asking, I keep meaning to get back on here. I’ve actually been doing very good, I’ve been working part time and as chazal say “yafa talmud Torah im derech eretz, sheyegias shneyhem mishkachas avon” 
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 

Re: This time for real 09 May 2024 02:47 #412896

  • yitzchokm
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Beautiful to hear. Keep on shteiging.

Re: This time for real 09 May 2024 04:20 #412901

  • chaimoigen
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Really glad to hear, friend. 
Keep in touch. The connection when things are good forges a bond that is precious and irreplaceable when the inevitable bumps in the road hit. Then you have a friend to call. 

Keep climbing.
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com
Last Edit: 09 May 2024 14:46 by chaimoigen.

Re: This time for real 02 Jun 2024 19:38 #414501

  • ainshumyeiush
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sorry for pulling the disappearing act over here, but I'm back now. I'll try to do a bit of an update later. 
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 

Re: This time for real 03 Jun 2024 02:07 #414520

  • ainshumyeiush
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Alright, here goes. I've been away for about 3 months (not counting occasionally checking in to read posts). At first it was because i was B"H very busy between yeshiva and work, but i was also doing very well with shmiras einaim. But I grew complacent and... well we know how that goes. then for the last 2 months i wasn't doing well with shmiras einaim, but i didn't come back here to work on it. why not? probably because its easiest to just not fight. over shabbos i had a good conversation with some friends and the topic of porn came up. while some guys were saying the classic "everybody sees something, well what do you call an addiction, its not a big deal" and all of that garbage, one guy was actually being realistic. about how problematic it is, and who cares if you want to call it an addiction or not, it has to be off the table, not an option. i realized i have to wake up and get back on track. 
But... that means hard work, that means staying focused, that means being aware of what i see, it means sacrifice (i know I'm going to get responses to that "no, its not a sacrifice", but you get the point).
so as much as i want to do this, there's a side that wants to just keep going on autopilot. but either way, I'm here.
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 

Re: This time for real 03 Jun 2024 11:28 #414528

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome back buddy. Courageous honest post. Your head is screwed on straight. It's guys like you that pull through (and help others along the way...)
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: This time for real 04 Jun 2024 00:58 #414580

  • hechochma
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Welcome back!
Chazak V'ematz!!!
Join us in reading two pages a day of the most amazing and absolutely guilt-trip-free book on the epic holy battle of our generation! Free PDF here

My Thread

והנה הכתוב אומר: הן יראת ה' היא חכמה... הרי שהיראה היא חכמה והיא לבדה חכמה... כי עיון גדול צריך על כל הדברים האלה לדעת אותם באמת ולא על צד הדמיון והסברה הכוזבת, כל שכן לקנות אותם ולהשיגם

Re: This time for real 04 Jun 2024 02:00 #414581

  • youknowwho
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Welcome back, ASY!

It definitely feels like a sacrifice, yes, which is why we constantly need so much chizuk. 

Glad to have your words of wisdom! 

Re: This time for real 10 Jun 2024 17:21 #414975

  • ainshumyeiush
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There's two kinds of insanity most of us are familiar with. The first is 'ain adam over avairah ela im kein nichnas bo ruach shtus', and the second is "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results". I can only speak for myself, but I feel that in this struggle both definitions come into play. The first is pretty obvious, the watching/doing/acting out. The second is when I decide to stop. I'll make a decision to stop, but don't put any changes in place, basically doing the same thing as before but expecting a different outcome. I need to actually make a plan this time, to do something different if I want different results. I plan on making sure to text someone every morning to give a report (the nights are the time I have the most urges and free time), and also pick up where i left off with the battle of the generation. 
On a separate note, I was talking to someone yesterday about this struggle, and he mentioned the idea I've heard before about how porn is the solution, not the problem, meaning that it's a coping mechanism we use to avoid problems. And the concept of if you deal with the real problem the porn problem will go away. The problem with that (for me) is that previously I wasn't happy with the yeshiva i was in, and just generally miserable all around, so that made sense. But now I'm in a different yeshiva, and things are going well, B"H. So whether you want to call it an addiction or you want to say its "avar vshana nase imo keheter" (if you do an aveirah often it becomes permitted in your eyes), either way I thinks that's currently the problem. Plus there's the 'feel good' effect of it.
Anyhow, I'm going to try to stop in over here again at least once a day, I feel like that's been helpful for me, and I'll keep everyone posted.
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

Curiosity kills the count

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/401159-This-time-for-real?limit=15&start=15#401727


feel free to get in touch
ainshumyeiush@gmail.com 

Re: This time for real 10 Jun 2024 18:16 #414978

  • BenHashemBH
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You can have a bad day and try to "fix' it with ice cream, you can feel a bit like the ice cream is owed to you, and you can stom desire some ice cream. All can be true.
If you have a tub of ice cream in the freezer it might be harder to stay away from. If you 'filter' your house, there are still ways to get ice cream. If you avoid the ice cream mood and when it strikes you replace the ice cream with some heimishe kugel, then that is what your friend is calling dealing with the real problem. Find and fill the void with something positive. Identify the crack and repair it. 

Rabbi Wallerstein AH said that if you put up orange cones to block a destination, that helps keep people out - but the desperate guy can still move them and drive right through. If you pave over the road so that it leads to a new location, that will be a more permanent redirection to your desired destination. 

Someone might need to focus on one angle more than the others, but you still need to take care of all of them. Your analysis of your situation is well thought out. Hatzlacha!
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
Last Edit: 10 Jun 2024 18:16 by BenHashemBH.
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