Sounds like you're doing great, my friend! Keep up the amazing work. And yes, it is very normal to feel an increased sensitivity to sights around you. The struggle is normal, and you can grow past it beH. Not to become complacent-keep posting. Read a book regularly that inspired you to guard your eyes. 
Keep posting and keep us posted!

When we cut out the super stimulating online stuff, our subconscious automatically has us start noticing "regular" pritzus with the hope that that will get us aroused and spiral back down. Each day that you train yourself to look away and not obsess with this parsha moves you iyh further away from the nisayon - and that part of you (grudgingly) gives up. All healthy males "notice" things on the street. The difference between an erliche yid and others is what happens next. That slight turn of the head away labels you as a "ne'eman" by Hashem. Hatzlocha buddy. May you have the syatta d'shmaya to keep becoming more and more a "makom l'hashroas haShechina".

As said before, aside from the normal man’s struggle, there is also the heightened super- awareness that often comes when getting clean. That aspect usually becomes easier with time. 

I think you are correct in wanting to avoid complacency, which is a dangerous drug that has been the cause of much downfall. Yet I don’t think shame and guilt are healthy, or the way to go, and neither is fear. 

You have accomplished a lot, and you should recognise that. It doesn’t mean that you should let your guard down. But it does mean that you may be optimistic, and cautiously confident! You know, that with Siyata Dishmaya, you have the tools to continue on the path of success that you are thankfully on. If you focus on the positives you are experiencing in being clean, and how much you are enjoying it (please elaborate and share if this is the case), you can feel good about taking the steps you need to safeguard your vigilance toward future successes!! 

Keep on trucking!! 

I made it to about 50 days, and I fell last night. I was incredibly tired and stressed, and although I think I learned to deal with stress, I think being exhausted threw off my guard, and caused me to sink back into old habits. 
I wanted to thank you all for your previous comments. I did get really far, and I am miles away from where I used to be.
I noticed an interesting phenomenon occurring which I don't know if anyone else experienced- when I fall, I usually look at much worse things than I used to before. At first this scared me, and I thought maybe I am getting worse and not better. But the moshul I gave myself is like a rubber band, the more you pull one way and let go, the further it is going to fly the other way. I think I am getting closer and closer to freedom, and when I fall the yetzer hara wants me to get further and further away. BH I learned to control the fall, and I took a Taphsic and am standing right back up and trying again!
Something I felt over the past week before my fall which I think is a big accomplishment and sign of the direction I am going. Whenever I used to see something inappropriate, my mind would first tell me "give me more!" Now, when I see something, my mind still says "give me more," but there is a thought that comes before that- my mind yells "YUCK! DISGUSTING!" I noticed myself thinking that, and although I do want more, I am really proud that I made it to that level. 
I have a strange mix of feelings now, I feel shame, guilt and sadness that I fell (and I have my doubts that I can ever make it to freedom), and at the same time I am proud of the work I put in and how much I grew (even if I don't make it to freedom, I still am trying really hard which I am proud of!). Please please share chizzuk, you don't know how much it means to me and helps in my fight.
Moving forward I hope to close up the loophole I found, and I hope to schedule a daily time to go on GYE just to go on the website to keep up my motivation. 
I hope to update again on day 10, and if I can call to all those struggling with me, "Mi LaHashem Eilai!!!"

How about an update on Day 3,5,7,9 etc. this way you get into the habit of posting and perhaps instead of running to porn the next time you’re stressed out you’ll come running here because accountability on Day 3,5,7,9 is much better than just having accountability on Day 10. In summation accountability every 2 days is better than accountability every 9-10 days. Sometimes more is more as in this case where less is less and not more. If you are confused by what I said then you know where to find me

50 days! WOW!!
50 days rine! 50 days a Holey Yid! 50 Days Kadisha! WOW!
i'm jellies on you! i don't have words...

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 01 Dec 2023 01:18:

Amazing job getting back on the horse!! I just fell myself yesterday, and I know how much strength it takes to stand back up, to strengthen your belief that you will break free and to ride on!
You are an inspiration for me and I am hearkening to your call of מי לד' אלי!

Mazel Tov on 50 days. It is an incredible accomplishment! I hope you celebrate and while doing so, thank Hashem and ask for more.

Next time you are stressed, call someone and kvetch. Better to release with the mouth than with the penis.

My friend, you write that you will get up and try again. Those words imply that you have not succeeded, and you will try to succeed. My friend, excuse the sharp words, but you are dead wrong. You HAVE accomplished! You HAVE succeeded! You have 50 holy, shining, sparkling days to show for your effort, and they are yours forever. And like you pointed out, your mind has changed, you now feel differntly about the whole thing, so you see that you have succeeded. And then, for one battle, you lost. But you can win the war! If you see the effect of 50 days, how can you even doubt whether you will be free? Of course you will! Yes, you will have to work. Yes, follow HHM's advice, connect to the boys, call someone, and remember that YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Keep smiling....and KEEP TRUCKING!

Just adding my voice to chorus here. 
Look- you see and recognise your growth. It’s not just in an increasing distance between falls, it’s also in how you feel towards inappropriate content. A change in your attitude shows that YOU are becoming a person who is increasingly disconnected from this negativity. That’s something to acknowledge and be thankful for. 

But, I am going to echo what others are saying a bit more sharply. Stay in touch!! What are you thinking, friend? It doesn’t work alone! There will always be rough patches, stressful times, and moments of weakness. Complacency and inertia leads to inaction which leads to weakness.

Hashem gave us the gift of each other, of connection. Do not squander this gift and opportunity! 

Stick around and post regularly. Giving chizzuk to others is a great way to stay in the game too. You have a lot to offer, and you will be the greatest recipient.

Looking forward to hearing from you, 
Chaim Oigen 

Amazing 
!!

Amazing!!

You guys are all so right! Ultimately I am a basar vadam, who makes mistakes and is not perfect, but I see that I have the power in me to succeed, and I have succeeded! 50 days is no small feat, and although I want more (wanting to grow more is a great thing , I should celebrate my accomplishment with the days of kedusha I grabbed, and the ability I have to pick myself up and keep on trucking! And ultimately I noticed a shift in my mindset, which is unbelievable as well (unfortunately after the fall my urges have been tugging at me again really strongly, but I will get back there again soon!). And you are all right, I hope to stay in contact a bit better because that is the only way I will get out of this. Thanks HHM and my good friend Chaim Oigen for that piece of advice. Maybe I will try to post every 5 days, even something short, just to keep accountability. And to all you out there who need chizzuk, please please private message me. Contrary to what Chaim Oigen said I have little to offer but would love to help in someone else journey as well. So far I'm riding the waves of the urges, and I hope to post again in another few days! 

Just checking in with everyone. Day 11, and it's going great! I am trying to be more careful where I go online, and so far so good. I also strengthened my filter. My urges got super strong after my fall, and bh they are slowly decreasing now. I am so grateful I learned how to get up after a fall- I think it is one of the most powerful things I learned so far on my journey. Looking forward to checking in in a few days! 

Nothing exciting to report. Day 20 and going strong! I hope to keep posting (even a bit more often) to try to stay motivated.