Hi Everyone, 
BH I have not had a fall since last time. Iv'e found it helpful to just stay busy and not be alone in a situation where I could fall. This is not very difficult in Yeshiva, but I am a little more nervous for the upcoming bein Hazmanim. Does anyone have any tips for how to prevent mistakes and keep strong? 
Also, has anyone found that their issue has led to feelings of depression or anxiety? I have been very anxious about making decisions and feel insecure about myself. Has anyone found therapy helpful for sorting out issues?

Hey! You can try reading a chapter of The Battle of the Generation every night to keep you charged and strong. (For the depression and anxiety part, read Appendix A in the back of the book.) See the link below in my signature.

For Bein HaZmanim I would suggest making a real plan covering situations in which you have fallen in the past and how you plan to deal with them, and an accountability partner.

Hatzlacha!

It's great to hear from you and great to hear that you have'nt had a fall. That's a victory! Don't downplay it by saying it's because you keot busy - that's YOU harnessing the tools you have to stay clean. Here's a warm handshake and a pat on the shoulder, with admiration!
Yes, depression can set in. Can't speak for you specifically, but when a person feels overwhelmed, feels powerless, feels like he is facing something unsurmountable, these things can make a person feel depressed, especially if you're feeling lonely. Therapy can be a powerful tool if you are dealing with underlying issues, unresolved conflicts and much more. If youre just struggling to keep your chin out of the water in this battle, and feeling bad about yourself, about your learning and Yiddishkeit, it may very well not be necessary. Because you CAN rise up, become free, become who you really are inside. You've already taken tremendous steps!

Bein Hazmanim can be a tricky, trying time. There are many opportunities for Nisayon. That means that there are many opportunities for growth and change! The Rebono Shel Olam put us in this struggle, and He can and will help us, that is what He is waiting for. We can't imagine the unbelievable Nachas Ruach He has from someone working to hold on to Kedusha in a world overwhelmed by a tsunami of filth. Chazak!

I would think the first lines of defense are to have a plan and a partner. 
 Be realistic - plan out what is going to happen. Ask yourself - what are the potential pitfalls in the situation you will be in over Bein Hazmanim? Where will there be devices, filtered or unfiltered. People and sights and situations that will cause challanges? What have been causes and triggers of previous falls. If you have Gedarim set in place, you can act , not react. And with Tefilla and Siyata Dishmaya you can use this opportunity to grow. 

The biggest game-changer can be to have an accountibilty partner, Someone to text or call, to check in with daily, to call for chizuk in a time of nisayon, or better, before a time of Nisayon. Speaking to a real person makes it all different. Might feel like it's a difficult step, but let me tell you, my friend - you cannot imagine how good it feels to have a friend to call!

[And learning helps, too. More about that maybe, in a later post.]

You're a strong person and has what it takes! Chazak Vinischazeik! 

Hi all, 
Thank you very much for your advice and encouragement. I can't express enough my gratitude that I feel towards all of you for giving me the confidence to believe I can break free and reach my true potential. Last night I was having some strong urges but I was able to hold myself back. BH I can see I am making progress and I feel much more confident in my ability to finally break free. I have decided to crack down on a filter on my phone in order to make sure I won't be able to make any mistakes. 

Wow! HLY, you really have good friends here! And keeping in  touch with them throughout Bein Hazmanim is a thing that will really help. Like contact them (text) each time before you enter a situation that you know has some tests. Call every few days for chizuk and knowing that we are in this together...Keep us posted!

Hi everyone,
I wanted to give an update about where I'm holding and some conclusions I've come to recently. It has been quite a struggle the past few weeks.

Being home during Bein Hazmanim with no real schedule or structure to my day leaves me with a lot of free time and boredom. Additionally, I've been pretty stressed recently about a lot of decisions regarding yeshiva that has made me feel pretty overwhelmed. This led me to cope with these feelings by going to my comfortable solution that has always been there to numb my feelings: PMO. A lot of times I felt guilty, but then other times I didn't really feel anything at all. It is those times that actually make me feel the worst because I feel that I have become so used to this garbage that it doesn't affect me at all. It has become muttar to me. This made me realize just how big of an issue this has become, how routine my actions are, how dependent I am on getting my fix and giving in to my desires. I finally realized that I am sick; I am an addict. It is hard to admit, but I think it is a crucial step in working towards recovery. I am starting to accept myself for who I am- not a rasha, but someone who has fallen victim to the disgusting modern culture and pornography industry. I am normal. Everyone has Taavos. I have just been placed in an exceedingly difficult situation that most BH don't have to face. 

I've been reading the Battle of the Generation little and reading through a lot of the posts here and my entire mindset on this struggle has changed. I no longer view it as a burden or an insurmountable obstacle but an opportunity to reach greatness. Through these difficulties, I can become so much closer to HKB"H than I ever was before. Every step I take in the right direction is a victory against the Yetzer Hara. I now see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am starting to believe I can finally break free.

I  have realized that a lot of times my issue is a lack of  motivation. Objectively I know it is wrong and the countless negative affects this has on my psychological, physical, social, and spiritual wellbeing. I know where this could lead to if I don;t fix this problem now. A lot of times I get very inspired and excited about the opportunity to win this battle. HOwever, a lot of times in the mooment it is difficult to stay focused on my goals and values. I feel that If I could just stay motivated at all times, I could be Matzliyach. Does anyone have any tips on how to stay focused and motivated? Any other tips or comments are welcome and appreciated. 

I wanted to express deep Hakaras Hatov to everyone on this site for creating such a wonderful community of real avdei Hashem who are striving to reach great levels of Kedusha. I have realized I am not alone and I benefit greatly from chatting and reading the forum. If anyone is ever available to speak I am available and eager to make connections. I hope to continue posting and updating my story.

I go back to Yeshiva in two more weeks, so my goal is to remain clean until I go back. In Yeshiva it is much easier and I will hopefully be Matzliach. However, in Yeshiva I am not really faced with so many taavos, so it is difficult to gauge where I am really holding. Does anyone have any tips of sefarim or other things I can do to work on this in Yeshiva?

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

To stay motivated- start by reading something you find inspirational every day, without missing. Also vayimaen videos, one a day.
Also, a large part of this in addition to motivation is realizing that you can do this, with Hashem's help. And you have a team here rooting you on!

First of all, just want to say it is inspiring to read your posts. Thank you!

I'm writing kind of a long post. Sorry if its too long. Take what you'd like. 

As far as going back to Yeshiva, and gauging where you're "really" holding, that's a tricky question (and a good question to ask). We tend to focus here on the סור מרע, how to deal with nisyonos. When there are less nisyonos, there is a different kind of avoda. I'll share a few points I feel are worthy to consider. 

1) When there are less nisyonos, that doesn't mean there are no nisyonos. Being in a safer environment carries the risk of becoming complacent or arrogant about our struggles. Being a Ben Torah doesn't mean we don't have a yetzer hara, and it doesn't mean dealing with this stuff is "beneath us." We are human, and the Torah was given to us because we are human. 
2) Sometimes a good offense is the best defense. When were dealing with nisyonos we need to find strategies and chizuk about how much reward there is from these struggles, but there is a tendency to get so involved that we feel we "need" the struggle because we are so much greater when we fall and get up again. That is a bit like the mistake Adam HaRishon made, thinking he'll be even greater if he eats from the עץ הדעת and then overcomes the yetzer hara. But that is not what Hashem wants. 
3) It says Teshuva M'Ahava turns our עוונות into זכויות. If we can do teshuva when we are not edging across a bottomless pit, we can think about not only how terrible it is to fall, but also about the positive side, about what kedusha is, about having a relationship with HaKadosh Baruchu, about how much we are missing when we are in that dark world. Do we know what we are missing? Do we even want to know what we are missing? Where would the drama and the healthy excitement and love be like in our lives if we weren't fighting off these demons? 
4) We tend to think that Hashem is the one helping us out of this mess and saving us, but as far as how and why we are constantly being tested, is that also from Hashem, or is it some other power, Chalila! Sometimes I have feel, Why can't I just be normal, why do I have to put up with these challenges, why can't I walk down the street, or do a google search without struggling? At those times I remind myself that I'm not normal because Hashem doesn't want me to be "normal." He wants me to remember that I'm in this world for a specific purpose, He wants me not to be drawn after the world, and instead be drawn after Him, like a beloved who wants to elope and wants to know there is nothing else in your heart. 
5) There is a lot to learn about this topic in terms of halacha, mussar, hashkafa. There are books that compile teshuvos from recent gedolim on the subject, sefarim on Tikkun HaYesod, on Yosef Hatzadik. You might want to learn a little bit on the subject every day. 
6) One idea I think about alot, that is relevant also when there are less nisyonos, on the subject of Yesod, is like this: when I have a desire to act out it is usually when I feel I want to escape. My life is just not interesting enough, or things are not going my way. Deep down I feel there is something great about me, that I have so much potential, but the world I am in doesn't reflect that. People don't appreciate me, or I am not succeeding, or not succeeding enough, or I don't feel satisfied enough by my success. In the imaginary world of P&M, everyone loves me, I can always get my way, there are no limitations, and I get a huge rush of excitement and momentary validation. 
The Middah of Yesod is to be able to focus all of our energies on specifically the reality that we are currently faced with. Before they build a building they dig a foundation, they prepare and designate this specific place to build, and not somewhere else. We live in very challenging times. Because there is so much Tumah in the air, and our society's values are so crumbled, it is difficult to learn, to connect. We may tend to feel that it is just not working. We heard so many lofty things about the Torah, about Tzadikim, and we just don't see how the reality in front of us is supposed to be the opportunity to connect to those things, and to bring out our potential. But we have to know that when we commit to putting everything we have into the reality in front of us, we are accomplishing much more than we can even understand. 
That is what blows my mind about the Nisayon of Yosef Hatzadik. He was sold as a slave, betrayed, tested day after day, we all know the story. Let alone the Taiva that was involved in his test, but how was he even able to muster up the strength. What did the reality infront of him have anything to do with the legacy of Yaakov Avinu, of those great things? If I was there I would have felt, who even cares what I do anyway? 
That is Yesod. It is not only applicable to shmiras Habris (even though it is most applicable there). Just like a person should focus all his energies on his wife, a person should focus all his energies on everything he does, to bring out the most kedusha possible.  

Shalom Heilege Chevra,
BH, I have now been going strong for 10 days! I really could not have done it without GYE and this outstandingly supportive community. Especially helpful have been the partners who have been helping me by chatting daily and checking in. With Rosh Chodesh Elul coming along I hope to be able to keep going until Rosh Hashana and beyond! 

לך בכחך זה, חזק ואמץ
קוה אל ה׳ , 
You have the stuff, friend. 
KOMT

Reb Chaim, reading your words I just feel your hartz! I think you have some good stuff, too:) Please keep sharing it!

Shalom Chaverim of GYE,
It’s been a while since I last posted and I wanted to give an update. BH I finally got filters for both my phone and computer before RH. I had struggling a lot over the summer and Elul and I thought enough is enough. I was very good for aseres yemei teshuva and I felt very strong and that my will to break free and change was growing. I was feeling very confident in myself. On Yom Kippur, I poured my heart out to HKB”H asking Him for help in my struggle and so that I would never fall again. I thought I had finally solved my problem and had changed forever. However, today I had a fall. I came home for bein hazmanim and I found an unfiltered device and I fell. There is just something about being at home that always makes me fall. I was devestated right after and just sat there with a blank mind for a while. I was so ashamed of myself and felt all the growth I had accumulated had all been for nothing and I was right where I started. I hadn’t been on GYE in a while so I thought I would give it a try to try and find some chizzuk. I looked through the chats and BH I started chatting with @iwantlife. He encouraged me and recommended I write a post. Thanks to him I decided to post and I hope others out there can be of assistance or offer chizzuk. After being away from GYE for so long I started to feel alone again in this struggle but I realize for better or for worse we are all in this together. I truly want to change and be משנה שמי as the Rambam puts it in Hilchos Tshuva, but I feel like this habit is too ingrained in me trust I keep coming back to it no matter how hard I try. I truly want to do the רצון הבורא but I feel stuck. If anyone could help or give chizzuk please comment or reach out, Shkoyach. Just remember that HashemLovesYou. I also have to remember He loves me too.

Welcome back! You know that Hashem must love you, because he sent you right back to GYE, where there really is hope! As you pointed out in your post, this Yetzer Horah feeds on loneliness, so now when you're feeling alone and likely to fall, you can come here instead. Stick around and get to know the oilam, there's nothing quite like them. And keep posting! Your drive to do the the רצון הבורא shines through your words, and together with all of us, IY"H you'll move that mountain that is the Yetzer Horah with ease, as a true tzaddik!

Much Hatzlocha,
iwantlife